The following is a guest post from UMBC alumna Juliette Seymour, MCS and GWST ’14, who was both inspired and incensed by the recent “Me Too” campaign. Although this widespread social media initiative has shed light on the pervasiveness of sexual violence and assault in our communities, Juliette writes about follow-through and next steps. 

Content note: Sexual abuse, rape, trauma

Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too.

Me too.

It’s endless. I cannot count the number of the “Me too” Facebook status I have seen since Sunday night. If you are not on Facebook, to provide some backstory, actress Alyssa Milano tweeted (a co-opted message from activist, Tarana Burke):

Screen shot from Alyssa Milano’s twitter: “If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted write ‘me too’ as a reply to this tweet.” Inset text reads: “Me too. Suggested by a friend: ‘If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too.’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”

Since then, my Facebook feed (and everyone else’s) has been nothing but “Me too’s.”

I posted one, deleted it. Then sat with a rock in my stomach. I’m used to this rock. It’s been with me since I was a child. This rock varies in size and weight, sometimes it’s small and manageable. Other times it’s large, growing past my stomach into my chest and throat making it nearly impossible for me to take deep breaths or speak. It’s grown as I have; the seemingly constant sexual abuse and rape that has happened throughout my life adding weight to this rock. You know this rock if you’ve experienced any sort of abuse/trauma. It sucks.

Quilt square from The Monument Quilt.

I sat with this rock in my stomach for a while. My overactive mind weighing the pros and cons of this campaign (I don’t know if that is the proper term, but honestly, I’m not here to overanalyze that aspect). Should I repost? Why did I delete it? Why did I hesitate to post in the first place? Why did it feel wrong?

Then it clicked.

We’ve already stood up. We’ve already put a mark on our backs. We’ve already gone to the police to be dismissed. We’ve already sat through questioning from everyone, and I mean, everyone – how long was your skirt, did you drink, have you had sex before, why were you out at night, why did you let them, why didn’t you say no, have you had sex with them before, aren’t you married, why didn’t you fight back, didn’t you want it at first, why didn’t you say something sooner – to be told it was our fault. Even though it is never EVER our fault.

We’ve been through this motion before.

Think of all the people who have stood up and said “Hey, Bill Cosby/Woody Allen/Donald Trump/Harvey Weinstein/Sean Penn/Dr. Luke/My friend/My family/Your friend/Your family/etc., has raped/sexually abused me.”

What happened to the survivor? Now, what happened to the abuser in these situations? If you don’t already know the answer, take a moment, think about it. What happened to Trump? Cosby?

The answer is nothing. Nothing happened to them. Hell, one of them is sitting in the oval office.

Where are the Facebook statuses of abusers/rapist saying “I did it” so we can understand the severity of this? Where are my supposed ‘allied’ cis men standing up to their friends when they make rape jokes, or catcall? Or rape. When are we going to start holding abusers accountable? When are we going to refer to our brothers and fathers as rapists, instead of our sisters and mothers as victims? When are we going to ask why did you rape instead of why were you raped? When are we going to teach how not to rape instead of how not to get raped?

Quilt square from The Monument Quilt.

When are we going to actually listen to survivors? And then when are we going to do more than just…listen?

I don’t have all the answers. I wish I did.

But what I do have is this:

First, and most importantly –  If you posted a Me Too status, if you didn’t, if you don’t believe that your story is “real” enough, if you are not safe or comfortable enough to post; I see you. I hear you. I believe you. You are not alone. And I love you.

Second, and almost as important – Now what?

I’m not going to post a Facebook status, sit back, and pretend it did something. I’m not going to do that, and I’m asking you to do the same. And I know it hurts, it’s painful, uncomfortable, and seems impossible. Trust me. I know what it feels like to not be able to speak the things that happened to you (and very slowly getting to a point where you can kind of talk about it in therapy). I know what it feels like to be retraumatized with panic attacks and sleepless nights following. I know what it feels like to have to live with your abuser. I know what it feels like to question, “Was it rape? Was it my fault?” (and accepting that yes, it was rape, and no, it’s not my fault).

I know.

But, we have to be uncomfortable, we have to work through the pain, we have to support each other in our respective journeys to healing.

Quilt square from The Monument Quilt.

So here is my action plan. To hold myself accountable, and to provide a possible road map for you. I do not know what your story is, how your healing will come, or what will happen. Hell, I don’t even know if my plan will work. But for right now, it’s all that I got:

1. Go to therapy
2. Delete Facebook off my phone (at least for a few days)
3. Check-in with myself (you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first) and then friends
4. Start volunteering with the Monument Quilt again (the studio is close to my house, and I made myself email them before finishing this post to ensure I followed through)
5. Look into support groups for survivors

IMPORTANT NOTES:

I cannot stress this enough to my fellow survivors: This is in no way to shame or put down those who have found comfort/strength/healing through this hashtag Facebook thing (I still don’t know what to call it). I hope with all of my heart that this creates a sense of community, love, healing, and will do the thing it’s supposed to do. This is not directed towards those who find healing through these means, I’m happy you have that. I am SO happy you have that.

This is me wanting more from society. Not you.

And, it goes without saying, but I’m going to say it: ABUSE/RAPE HAPPENS ACROSS ALL GENDER LINES. WOMAN, MAN, TRANS, GENDERQUEER, NO GENDER, ALL GENDER. IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE.

And, an important note on race: I am white. This is my white perspective. Race obviously plays a role in this. I do not feel adept to write about that. I do not want to assume/overpower or write for POC because their voices should be raised.

Quilt square from The Monument Quilt.

• For more information and resources related to sexual assault and gender-based violence, visit our website or contact the Women’s Center at 410.455.2714.
• For more information about reporting at UMBC, the sexual misconduct policy, or Title IX, visit UMBC’s Human Relations website. 
• The photos above are from the Monument Quilt. For more information, visit their website.

Get ready for Critical Social Justice: Rise with our What You Need to Know series. Written by Sydney Phillips. Check out The Monument Quilt Display flyer here.

Last year, Critical Social Justice: Home was dedicated to recognizing UMBC as a home to many different people and communities. We celebrated UMBC as a home for learning, activism, and social change, as well as worked to invest ourselves in creating meaningful change here on campus. We then took our new in sights and knowledge with us to our other homes.

This year’s theme of RISE explores opportunities for building individual and collective resistance and resilience. Events throughout the week will challenge us to think about how we can do better, do more, and persist in doing it. How do we rise to meet the challenges of this particular cultural moment to work toward a vision of inclusive excellence—whether it’s in the classroom, online, or in our communities?

One of the social justice issues that CSJ: Rise will focus on, in tandem with Relationship Violence Awareness Month, is sexual violence. On October 26th from 10am – 4pm the Monument Quilt will be on campus for a quilt display on Erikson Field. There will also be a workshop in the AOK library 216L from 2 – 4pm to make your own quilt squares in solidarity.

The Monument Quilt is a  crowd-sourced collection of stories from survivors of rape and abuse. The quilt is based in Baltimore but travels around the United States for displays at colleges and other events. The project will conclude in the Spring of 2018 with a quilt display on the National Mall spelling out “Note Alone.”

Each individual square is made of red fabric with hand-written testimonials created by survivors and allies. The goal of the quilt and the sharing of these stories is to create a public space for healing for survivors and to work towards changing how communities respond to rape.

The Monument Quilt addresses rape as a social justice issue that affects everyone and views activism as a way of healing from trauma. This project is creating a new culture where survivors are publicly supported, rather than shamed. It also deconstructs the narrow, mainstream narrative of sexual assault by letting survivors tell their own stories.

The Monument Quilt takes an intersectional lens to the issue of sexual violence and focuses on specific communities who are affected by sexual violence, including but not limited to women and people of color, LGBTQIA+ individuals, and men. In an effort to represent the community with the highest rate of sexual violence in the U.S., The Monument Quilt has partnered with many Indigenous people and tribal communities. According to the a 2015 study by the National Institute of Justice, 4 in 5 American Indian and Alaskan Native women have experienced violence in their lifetime. Native women are significantly more likely to experience violence by a non-Native partner. Of those that have experienced violence, 66.5% of women were concerned for their safety.  

In 2015, The Monument Quilt joined other activists to demand justice for a 13-year-old Choctaw boy who was sexually assaulted multiple times by his supervisor, Dale Townsend, at the Dollar General where the two worked. The boy’s parents brought a suit against Dollar General in Tribal Court, and the retailer argued that because the store was not within the jurisdiction of the tribe the retailer could not be legally sued by the tribe. Dollar General v. Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians became a much larger issue because it was not only about ensuring justice for a survivor, but about proving equitable legal power for Native American communities. This case eventually made its way to the Supreme Court where a tie allowed a lower court’s opinion in favor of the Choctaw tribe to stand.

You can earn more about The Monument Quilt and their activist efforts through the display and workshop on Thursday. You can also learn more about Native issues from our keynote speaker Native Scholar and Activist, Dr. Adrienne Keene, who will deliver the CSJ: Rise keynote lecture on Tuesday 10/24 at 6 pm in the University Center Ballroom. Please RSVP to the Facebook event if you are planning to come see the display!

Further reading below:

• Read more of our What You Need to Know series for CSJ: Rise.
• You can view some of the Monument Quilt squares here.
• Dollar General Attacks Tribal Jurisdiction by The Monument Quilt
• Rape Survivors’ Stories in Full FORCE; Focus on Abuse Against Native Women by Indian Country Today

Check out the full list of Critical Social Justice: Rise events here.

This past April was our most powerful yet. In recognition of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, the Women’s Center coordinated the annual Take Back the Night event, which 265 UMBC community members attended (click here for a photo round-up). The Clothesline Project reached another 183 people, and 10 new shirts were created by survivors of interpersonal violence.

The Women’s Center’s mission to support survivors extends beyond April. This year, the Women’s Center has trained 103 students, faculty, and staff in our supporting survivors workshops. Jess and Megan have also devoted over 25 hours of 1-1 support meetings for survivors and those dedicated to supporting them.

As this school year ends, please help us continue cultivating a survivor-responsive campus. We are only $450 away from making our 25th Anniversary GiveCorps goal for the 2016-2017 school year!
Give today and help a survivor access the support they need. 

On April 13th 2017, UMBC hosted Take Back the Night. The night began with an introduction by the emcees and march leaders, Kayla and Sarah, and Women’s Center staff member, Amelia.

After the introduction was the survivor speak-out. The speak-out is the heart of Take Back the Night. This is the point in the night where survivors are encouraged to come up and share their story with the crowd before the march throughout campus. As a survivor, sharing your story at TBTN allows you to publicly acknowledge your experience with a crowd that believes you and supports you.

Photo credit: Jaedon Huie

Photo credit: Amelia Meman

Photo credit: Amelia Meman

We then moved on to the march portion of the night where we got loud and chanted in support of victims of sexual violence.

Photo credit: Jaedon Huie

Photo credit: Jaedon Huie

Photo credit: Jaedon Huie

Photo credit: Amelia Meman

After the march, community members got together for some craftivism! This portion of the program is intended to provide space for reflection, creative expression, and community building.

Photo credit: Jaedon Huie

Photo credit: Jaedon Huie

Photo credit: Jaedon Huie

Thank you so much to everyone for a powerful and moving evening. Thank you to every survivor for sharing their story, to every ally who supported the survivors and a special thank you to all the volunteers who made TBTN possible!

Photo Credit: Amelia Meman

If you weren’t able to make it, here are some resources:

• Women’s Center at UMBC
• UMBC Counseling Center
• Title IX and UMBC’s Interim Policy on Prohibited Sexual Misconduct and Other Related Misconduct
  

Photo credit: Amelia Meman

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and the Women’s Center is hosting its fifth consecutive Take Back The Night (TBTN) on Thursday, April 13th. Over the years, we’ve had a lot of questions about what Take Back the Night exactly is, why it looks the way it does, and how students can get involved. To help get those questions answered this year, we’ve doing a “What You Need to Know” series focused on TBTN so stay tuned for more posts over the next couple of weeks. This is the fifth post in the series and it focuses on the last part of Take Back the Night which is craftivism and community building.

Hearing and sharing survivors’ stories of sexual violence can be empowering, challenging, and emotional. We know that people process their feelings in different ways, and so following survivor speak out and march, the event continues with Craftivism on Main Street. This portion of the program is intended to provide space for reflection, creative expression, and community building.

When the marchers return to Main Street, there will be tables set up with art supplies for anyone wishing to contribute to one of the community craft projects we’ll have available: the FORCE Monument Quilt, the Clothesline Project, and the Dear Survivor scrapbook. We also encourage attendees to check out the resource tables to learn more about various campus and community organizations and services.

A volunteer from FORCE will be present to assist anyone interested in making a quilt square for the Monument Quilt. The Monument Quilt is a crowd-sourced collection of testimonials from survivors of sexual violence, as well as their allies. This national project will eventually blanket the National Mall with the phrase Not Alone. The quilt is a way to demand public space to heal, and create a new culture where survivors are publicly supported, rather than publicly shamed.

A community member works on a Monument Quilt square.

All are welcome to add a page to our Dear Survivor scrapbook, which features messages of hope, healing, and solidarity from survivors and allies who have attended TBTN in past years. The scrapbook can be found in the Women’s Center lounge.

The Dear Survivor scrapbook offers messages of healing and solidarity.

Materials for the Clothesline Project will be available for survivors who would like to give voice to their experience by decorating a shirt that will be displayed during Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Every April, these shirts are hung shoulder-to-shoulder on a clothesline on Main Street to give public testimony to the problems of sexual and gender-based violence. Please note that while allies are invited to participate in the Monument Quilt and Dear Survivor scrapbook, the Clothesline Project is intended for those who identify as survivors.

TBTN attendees decorate T-shirts for the Clothesline Project.

For those who prefer a quieter space for reflection, there will be a self-care station set up in the commuter lounge available during the survivor speak out and the rest of the evening. There will be tissues, stress balls, coloring supplies, and other resources for self-care. The station also provides a more private space where attendees can speak with one of the counselors on call, if needed.

Tissues, coloring, and other self-care resources will be available in the self-care station during and after the speak out.

For more information about UMBC’s TBTN (check out Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter too by searching the hashtag #UMBCTBTN):

• Stop by the Women’s Center on April 11, 12, and 13th to make a rally sign for the march
• Attend the Monument Quilt-Making Workshop on Wednesday, April 19th from 4–6pm in the Women’s Center
• A blog post about UMBC’s 2005 TBTN march written by alum, Dr. Grollman.
• The Women’s Center 2016 TBTN roundup
• A BreakingGround post about how the 2013 TBTN came to be – Our Own ‘Take Back the Night’

This guest post was written by a UMBC community member who has asked to remain anonymous to allow for privacy while sharing this important experience. 

***Content Note: This post contains detailed descriptions of physical threats and sexual violence, and mentions of suicidal ideation. Please practice self-care while reading.*** 

Dear Survivor,

I would like to tell you my story of survival. I think that maybe, just maybe, it could provide you with something that will be helpful. I hope that it will. As a survivor myself, I know that lots of people have reacted to me in ways that minimized my experience, or, in contrast, made my experience into the thing that defined me. Both felt like shit. Both made me feel trapped.

I don’t want to do that to you. Instead, I want to show you a path to a future in which your survival matters, but the specific things you have survived are just a distant footnote in your memory.

Dear Survivor letters created at UMBC’s Take Back the Night offer messages of solidarity.

I want to tell you some details about my story. It happened 25 years ago.

I want to share these details because they provide context, and because I want you to be able to judge for yourself whether my experience has anything to offer that will help you cope with the experience that is uniquely yours. Also, I want you to see that my experience was not trivial. It was not small. And yet, looking back across my life, it seems small now.

And so, here it is. My story. It has several parts, as most do.

Thirty-one years ago, when I was in high school, I dated a boy that was kind and pretty and smart. I would later come out as queer, and I would come to understand that I was just going through the motions with him, trying to experience what it might mean to be “normal.” But in the meantime, he provided me with good early dating experiences, for the most part. One day, though, one of his best friends and I were going to meet up with him at a party that we couldn’t get to earlier. I was driving; his friend was navigating. He led me to a dead-end road and asked me to stop the car. I did. He grabbed me by the neck, and forced me to give him a blow job. I choked. I gagged. He laughed and pushed harder. Then, he had me drive him to the party. I did.

I didn’t tell my boyfriend what happened. In my mind, I rationalized that it wasn’t that big of a deal. I didn’t want to come between my boyfriend and his best friend – I thought that would be a mean thing to do. I didn’t understand then that it wasn’t me that had caused the problem.

Then, 28 years ago, when I was in college, I found an incredible feminist community of women who were strong, and beautiful, and loving. But the world was a homophobic and violent place, and many women in that group had been assaulted, and had experienced hate crimes. One community member had been murdered for being a lesbian just before I started school there. Another had been raped by a family member to “cure” her. I learned feminism from these women. I learned that my body was mine to control, that I had power, that there was strength in community. We also frequently told each other that self-defense, and learning to fight was a key to surviving in this world.

** Many people will tell you this: that learning how to fight will protect you. That if you learn to fight, they won’t be able to make you their victim. The underside to that message is that if you were able to fight better in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened to you. **

** That isn’t true. **

** If the person who attacked you wasn’t violent, wasn’t entitled, didn’t believe that their needs/desires/power was more important than yours, this wouldn’t have happened to you. ** If we didn’t live in a rape culture where women’s voices, needs, and autonomy are routinely dismissed, this wouldn’t have happened to you. ** This is not your fault, no matter what angle you take it from. **

** What will end rape and sexual assault is not a change in your behavior. **

After leaving college, and while working in my first professional job, I decided to study martial arts. I was determined that no one would ever touch me again without my permission, and I wanted to be able to defend my friends and those I loved. I signed up, sure that this was the answer.

I studied martial arts for two years. I was not very good at fighting, but I excelled at some parts of the art, and I loved my teammates, my strength, my confidence, and the joy I felt in achieving greater mastery of each technique. I felt so proud that, after two years, my instructor pulled me aside, and said that he thought I was close to a breakthrough in fighting technique. He suggested that I take private lessons for a while, so he could help me address the weakest link in my skills. I enthusiastically signed on! I had dreams of running self-defense classes in the future, of opening my own martial arts school to empower women and make my own contribution to ending rape culture.

My instructor said he had been watching, and had observed that specific types of moves made me freeze up. He suggested that we start with those things, and then move on to tournament fighting techniques.

To begin, I froze and felt completely terrified when there was any threat to my neck. So, he started by just touching my neck, and teaching me escape moves. Over a period of months, his “attacks” to my neck got stronger and stronger, to build my confidence that I could escape, no matter the angle, the power or size of the person, and my sense of panic. He practiced pinning me to the ground, and taught me ways to escape and disable my attacker for long enough to get away and get help. For six months, he taught me that even with someone as infinitely muscular as my martial arts instructor, who fought for a living and exercised 18 hours a day, I had power and I could get myself safe. I was so proud of myself, and grateful to my teacher.

Then, he raped me.

It was 25 years ago, and the day seemed pretty normal. We had our lesson, and then went out to lunch. Going out to lunch was a little weird – we hadn’t done that before. But it wasn’t very weird. Then, he was going to drive me home, but also had a meeting after that, and he just needed a few things. So, we stopped by his place. I hadn’t been to his place before, and it felt a little bit weird, but not very weird. We were in his apartment, and he pinned me to the ground. It was weird for him to do that outside of our training environment, but not very weird. He had talked a lot about me needing to practice in lots of contexts so that I could have an automatic response of self-protection, no matter where I was. I thought it was a test.

He grabbed me by the neck. Hard. I couldn’t breathe. He had never grabbed my neck that hard before. I tried all of the moves he had taught me. None of them worked. Then he laughed at me. He said, “You’ll be able to escape from anyone but me. You can’t ever learn enough martial arts to stop me. This is part of your training now. I will fuck you, and you will learn how to do it right. I will do it whenever I want, and you will learn.”

He also told me that he knew where I lived. And that if I told anyone about the new parts of our training that he would kill me in my sleep.

I begged him to stop, and tried different moves, thinking that maybe, just maybe, this was still a part of my training and was just a test. Could I defend myself when I was afraid? But it wasn’t a test. It was just what he was doing.

I survived that. He took me home. And I went to martial arts class the next day because I didn’t want him to think I was upset and going to tell someone. When he said he would kill me in my sleep, I knew that it would take very little effort on his part.

But, I also went to therapy. And, working with a compassionate, gentle therapist, I found a way to stop going to class without being terrified that this assertion was life threatening.

I was, in most ways, nonfunctional for a long time. I had all the symptoms of PTSD. I was suicidal. I was a wreck. I had triggers, where I would be functioning fine, and then the smallest smell, or facial expression, or sound, would have me back in that moment. I went to individual therapy two days a week, and group therapy once a week, for two years. I talked to my friends. I made new friends. And yet, this experience still defined the majority my existence.

Looking back objectively, now, it was awful. It was genuinely life threatening. It was a horrific abuse of trust and safety. It was not a trivial experience that just required a little extra TLC to heal. (To be clear: No survivor’s experience of sexual violence is trivial—regardless of the details—and there’s no set timeline for a survivor’s healing process.)

And yet, now, 25 years later, most of the time I forget that it happened. I went to Take Back the Night last year for the first time in a long time, because I was specifically asked to go to support my community. And I had a realization as I listened to the stories of survivors: I’ve been jogging, by myself, on a path that goes past my rapist’s house for the past several years without even realizing it. I hadn’t thought about him in more than 10 years, at least not consciously. It made me think about how far I had come.

When I think back on my life, about what made me who I am, and what the pivotal moments are, that experience does not rate in the top 10 most important experiences.

Seriously.

I have had losses and successes, joys and pains, and life experiences that shaped me so much more than that moment.

If you had told me that back then, I would have thought you were a heartless asshole. My rapist obviously ruined my life, and to suggest otherwise was to trivialize the violence of my experience.

But he really was not that important in the grand scheme of things. He is no longer powerful.

It took a lot of work and support and therapy and friendship and love to get me to this place. I hope you can hear that. The impact didn’t vanish over night. But once I had that help, once I did all that therapy, once I understood where the blame lived and where it did not, the rest of life happened. My life has had all kinds of twists and turns that were unexpected—that was just one of them.

That was my story. Your story is different. But you survived. And if you can hold on, let others help you, and, when you’re ready, start to live your life again, you may find that this experience didn’t ruin your life, after all.

With love and support and solidarity.

• For more information and resources related to sexual assault and gender-based violence, visit our website or contact the Women’s Center at 410.455.2714.
• UMBC’s Take Back the Night survivor speak out and march against sexual violence will be held on Thursday, April 13th at 6:30pm on Main Street in The Commons.
• The Clothesline Project is available for any survivors who would like to give voice to their experience by decorating a shirt that will be displayed during Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and the Women’s Center is hosting its 5th consecutive Take Back The Night (TBTN) on Thursday, April 13th. Over the years, we’ve had a lot of questions about what Take Back the Night exactly is, why it looks the way it does, and how students can get involved. To help get those questions answered this year, we’ve doing a “What You Need to Know” series focused on TBTN so stay tuned for more posts over the next couple of weeks. This is the fourth post in the series and it focuses on the Take Back the Night’s partnership with Greek Week.

UMBC’s Fraternity & Sorority Community has been involved with Take Back the Night since 2013 when TBTN returned to campus.  We know there are some questions about that involvement, and we’re hoping we can answer them here.

The History – Susan DuMont, Former Coordinator for Fraternities & Sororities, 2010-2015

I was on the Women’s Center Board when the conversation started about bringing TBTN back to UMBC, and I was really excited to be a part of the planning and figuring out what TBTN at UMBC could look like.

That spring when all of the chapters sat down to plan Greek Week, we realized that TBTN was in the middle of Greek Week.  I said that it was important to me that we not plan anything at the same time, so they could either have a Greek Week event earlier in the day or we could incorporate TBTN into Greek Week itself.  I explained what TBTN was, and the chapters decided that they wanted to actively support it.

For sorority members, TBTN is an important opportunity to support all of the survivors and for survivors to give voice to personal experiences with sexual assault.  Every year, including the first, a large number of sorority women have shared their stories from the microphone.  For the men in the community, TBTN was similarly an opportunity to support survivors, but it has also been a chance to witness and participate in a conversation that they are rarely so intimately included in.  Attending TBTN has allowed them to better grasp the magnitude of the prevalence and severity of sexual assault and how personal and important the issue is to their community.  In the second year of TBTN, two fraternity men also spoke as survivors.

Today – Cory Bosco, Coordinator for Fraternities & Sororities

Fraternities and sororities are organizations based on the concept of brotherhood and sisterhood – relationships that go much further than just friendship.  I have seen the expression of relief and gratefulness when survivors step away from the mic and are embraced by their sisters or their brothers.  Our chapters participate in TBTN because sexual assault affects this campus and our community, and our members want to be part of ending sexual violence.  We attend TBTN because we want to actively change the reality of sexual assault and show that UMBC’s Fraternity & Sorority community is here to be an ally.

Every year we revisit the conversation about whether TBTN should be included in Greek Week, and if so, how to include it in a way that is respectful to the event.  While Greek Week is a chance to celebrate the community and is a fun and competitive experience, it is also a chance to celebrate what the UMBC Fraternity & Sorority Community is about beyond the fun – and that includes a deep commitment to supporting each other as family and a commitment to social justice that is both historical and ongoing. 

There is a misconception that chapters are “required” to attend TBTN.  That is entirely false.  While it is part of Greek Week, chapters “max out” their Greek Week “opportunity” from the program by having a very, very small percentage of their chapter attend comparatively .  What you actually witness, though, is a huge turnout from the majority of chapters regardless of points earned.  The event is part of Greek Week because it is important to chapters, rather than being important to chapters because it is part of Greek Week. 

For more information about UMBC’s TBTN (check out Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter too by searching the hashtag #UMBCTBTN):

• Stop by the Women’s Center on April 11, 12, and 13th to make a rally sign for the march
• A blog post about UMBC’s 2005 TBTN march written by alum, Dr. Grollman.
• Speak: Knowing a Survivor Without Knowing Their Story – a blog post on cultivating a survivor-responsive campus
• Register for and attend an upcoming Supporting Survivors of Sexual Violence workshop. Click here for more details on the students workshop.
• The Women’s Center 2016 TBTN roundup
• A BreakingGround post about how the 2013 TBTN came to be – Our Own ‘Take Back the Night’

Stay tuned for the next installment of what you need to know about TBTN 2017! 

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and the Women’s Center is hosting its 5th consecutive Take Back The Night (TBTN) on Thursday, April 13th. Over the years, we’ve had a lot of questions about what Take Back the Night exactly is, why it looks the way it does, and how students can get involved. To help get those questions answered this year, we’ve doing a “What You Need to Know” series focused on TBTN so stay tuned for more posts over the next couple of weeks. This is the third post in the series and it focuses on the evening’s campus march against sexual violence.

1,2,3,4 WE WON’T TAKE IT ANYMORE

 5,6,7,8 NO MORE VIOLENCE! NO MORE HATE!

As a survivor of sexual assault, the Take Back The Night march reminds me that I’m not alone.

Mariana De Matos Medeiros, a UMBC Alumnus and former student staff member at the Women’s Center, said “To me, having the opportunity to speak and march at TBTN last year reminded me that I am not alone and that I can stand in my power to speak about my experience. It took me 3 years to finally speak about my assault and one of the very first times was at TBTN last year. Seeing so many gathered to support allowed me to speak and speaking has allowed me to heal.”

It can be easy to blame yourself, isolate yourself, and feel like you’re the only person struggling with your healing; However, the march lets you connect with people who support you and believe you.

Sarah Lilly, a 2016 and 2017 Take Back The Night student leader says “Marching is us showing that solidarity is a verb, and it brings me great pride to feel so supported by my local UMBC community and to see the unconditional support for everyone else in our community.”

In an open letter in her school’s newspaper, survivor and student activist, Angie Epifano, recounted the aftermath of her sexual assault, namely her experience with institutional betrayal. She ended the letter with, “Silence has the rusty taste of shame.” Due to rape culture, victim blaming, a lack of support for survivors, and more, it is understandable that many survivors do not disclose their experience and sexual assault is rarely spoke of in public.

Much like the Baltimore-based Monument Quilt is creating and demanding public space for survivors to heal, Take Back the Night demands for space in which we will not be shamed into silence. Activists like Angie, the Monument Quilt creators, and YOU during the march are creating a new culture where survivors are publicly supported, rather than publicly shamed.

Here’s some helpful information about the campus march against sexual violence to those attending Take Back the Night at UMBC: 

• The survivor speak-out is intended to center the voices and experience of survivors of sexual violence. The speak-out is for allies to listen and survivors to break their silence but the march is for EVERYONE to GET LOUD! 
• We encourage individuals and groups to make rally signs ahead of time. Signs are a great way to show your solidarity and support while also representing your student orgs, res hall communities, and frats/sororities.
• We’ll line everyone up in the march in waves. Survivors wanting to march up front with other survivors are invited to line up first along with other community members needed to take an accessible route march. Everyone else will then line up as survivors begin to march towards the south exit of The Commons.
• As we march, walk slowly and stay together. Try to avoid large gaps in the line.
• The march will end back on Main Street where the space will be ready for the evening’s resource fair and craftivism. As you’re heading back into The Commons, come all the way into Main Street so everyone else behind you can get into the space as well.
• Counselors-On-Call will be available throughout the evening. Any one needing additional support or simply needs to take a break are invited to visit the self-care station that will be set up in the Commuter Lounge.

For more information about UMBC’s TBTN (check out Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter too by searching the hashtag #UMBCTBTN):

• Stop by the Women’s Center on April 11, 12, and 13th to make a rally sign for the march
• A blog post about UMBC’s 2005 TBTN march written by alum, Dr. Grollman.
• Speak: Knowing a Survivor Without Knowing Their Story – a blog post on cultivating a survivor-responsive campus
• Register for and attend an upcoming Supporting Survivors of Sexual Violence workshop. Click here for more details on the students workshop.
• The Women’s Center 2016 TBTN roundup
  

Stay tuned for the next installment of what you need to know about TBTN 2017! 

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and the Women’s Center is hosting its 5th consecutive Take Back The Night (TBTN) on Thursday, April 13th. Over the years, we’ve had a lot of questions about what Take Back the Night exactly is, why it looks the way it does, and how students can get involved. To help get those questions answered this year, we’ve doing a “What You Need to Know” series focused on TBTN so stay tuned for more posts over the next couple of weeks. This is the 2nd post in the series and it focuses on the survivor speak-out.

The survivor speak-out is the heart of Take Back the Night. This is the point in the night where survivors are encouraged to come up and share their story with the crowd before the march throughout campus. As a survivor, sharing your story at TBTN allows you to publicly acknowledge your experience with a crowd that believes you and supports you.

I, student staff member Kayla Smith, have started the speak out for the past two years and I cherish that moment as a time where I can share my experience with people who I know won’t judge me. I can look out into a crowd of people who won’t tell me its my fault, ask what I was wearing, ask if I was drinking, or tell me that I was responsible for my assault. Speaking out about my assault empowers me to talk about my experience with confidence.

There are a variety of stories and experiences that are shared during the speak- out. Some may share stories or healing while others are still angry, sad, or scared. All of our stories and experiences are valid. And, no matter where you are at in your experience as a survivor (i.e. your assault happened 10 years ago or just last week), you’re welcomed to share your story. 

Women’s Center Student Staff Member Kayla Smith speaking to the crowd at TBTN 2016

If you’re thinking about speaking at Take Back the Night, feel free to reach out to Women’s Center staff ahead of time if you feel like it would be helpful to talk to someone ahead of time about your story and how you may want to share it. Of course, we know many survivors may not plan on speaking at TBTN and then feel called to do so once the speak-out begins and that’s okay!

It’s also totally okay if don’t feel ready to share your story at Take Back the Night – there’s many other ways you can share your story in less public ways throughout Sexual Assault Awareness Month (like making a t-shirt for the Clothesline Project or attending the Monument Quilt workshop) and Take Back the Night (counselors will be available throughout the event and there will be the self-care station). Survivors or anyone impacted by sexual violence can also always schedule a time to talk to Women’s Center staff – we’re quasi-confidential resources on campus and can link you to additional support and resources.

Here’s some helpful information about the speak-out we think is helpful for everyone to know whether they’re speaking or listening:

• Any one can be a survivor of sexual violence. Any survivor regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation is welcomed to share their story at the speak-out. 
• The survivor speak-out is intended to center the voices and experience of survivors of sexual violence. The speak-out is for allies to listen and survivors to break their silence. Thank you in advanced for respecting this request. Allies are also encouraged to attend the Women’s Center workshop on Supporting Survivors of Sexual Violence on 4/12.
• Since TBTN functions as a public forum, normal reporting procedures look a bit different. If you choose to share your story, and want to go no further in the reporting process, we encourage you not to disclose any names or other specific identifying information, such as locations or familial relationships, as those details may prompt staff to follow up with you for reporting matters. Staff are available at the event for those who do want additional resources and want to report their experience through UMBC’s Title IX reporting process or police.
• We ask that you try to limit your story to about 3 minutes. We know it may be hard to do so but we want to make sure as many survivors as possible can speak during the allotted speak out time which is one hour long.
• Speakers will have the option to identify their story as confidential by placing a sign marked “confidential” on the microphone. Speaking from the “confidential” microphone prohibits anyone from taking pictures, quotes, or recording of any kind.
• Counselors-On-Call will be available throughout the evening. Any one needing additional support or simply needs to take a break are invited to visit the self-care station that will be set up in the Commuter Lounge.

For more information about UMBC’s TBTN (check out Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter too by searching the hashtag #UMBCTBTN):

• Supporting Survivors of Sexual Violence Workshop information for faculty & staff and students.
• Speak: Knowing a Survivor Without Knowing Their Story – a blog post on cultivating a survivor-responsive campus.
• The Women’s Center 2016 TBTN roundup
• The Retriever Weekly photo gallery of TBTN
• Stop by the Women’s Center on April 11, 12, and 13th to make a rally sign for the march!
• Stop by the Clothesline Project on 4/6 on Main Street!

Stay tuned for the next installment of what you need to know about TBTN 2017! 

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and the Women’s Center is hosting its 5th consecutive Take Back The Night (TBTN) on Thursday, April 13th. Over the years, we’ve had a lot of questions about what Take Back the Night exactly is, why it looks the way it does, and how students can get involved. To help get those questions answered this year, we’ve doing a “What You Need to Know” series focused on TBTN so stay tuned for more posts over the next couple of weeks. This first post in the series focuses on the history and purpose of TBTN.

The crowd waiting for UMBC’s TBTN 2014 to begin.

In 1971 in New York a group of women and survivors hosted the first-ever rape speak-out that was organized by the group the New York Radical Feminists. A few years later, one of the first “Take Back the Night” marches was held in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in October 1975.

Despite some advancements and more attention being paid to sexual violence, we still live in a society where over forty-five years later  there is still a need to speak out against rape and sexual assault. There is still a need to say, “It happened to me.” “I believe you.” “You are not alone.” “It is not your fault.” And, so this is why we host Take Back the Night each year at UMBC and why it still happens worldwide.

UMBC (from what we can tell from the archives), held their first TBTN event in the early 2000s for just a few years. Campus stopped hosting it for several years so as to be in solidarity with other area colleges by participating in Baltimore City Hall’s Take Back the Night. But, by 2013, it made the most sense for us to bring back our own Take Back the Night. So the Women’s Center with support from UHS’s Health Education, Greek Week, and a BreakingGround grant did just that. Since then, this campus-wide rally and march against sexual violence has been a signature Women’s Center event every April.

Each year the Women’s Center hosts survivor speak-out followed by a campus march against sexual assault. When marchers return, UMBC’s TBTN spends the rest of the evening doing “craftivism” art healing projects and hosting a community resource fair. A smaller version of the Clothesline Project is also serves as a backdrop to the evening’s events.

The survivor speak-out at UMBC’s TBTN 2016

Stay tuned for more posts explaining the significance of each portion of Take Back The Night!

The march against sexual violence at UMBC’s TBTN 2015

For more information about UMBC’s TBTN (check out Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter too by searching the hashtag #UMBCTBTN):

• A BreakingGround post about how the 2013 TBTN came to be – Our Own ‘Take Back the Night’
• Read a blog post written by a UMBC alum related to TBTN 2005 at UMBC.
• The Women’s Center 2016 TBTN roundup
• The Retriever Weekly photo gallery of TBTN
• The Women’s Center visual recap of TBTN 2015
• Stop by the Women’s Center on April 11, 12, and 13th to make a rally sign for the march!

Stay tuned for the next installment of what you need to know about TBTN 2017!