“As you journey through life, choose your destinations well, but do not hurry there. You will arrive soon enough.

Wander the back roads and forgotten paths, keeping your destination in your heart like the fixed point of a compass. Seek out new voices, strange sights, and ideas foreign to your own. Such things are riches for the soul.

And, if upon arrival, you find that your destination is not exactly as you had dreamed, do not be disappointed. Think of all you would have missed but for the journey there, and know that the true worth of your travels lies not in where you come to be at the journey’s end, but who you came to be along the way.”

As students across the country prepare for graduation, the above quote is one that deeply resonates with me. In fact, this quote was a constant presence in my own undergraduate journey. Once I heard it, I typed it up and printed it out to tape to the mirror in my residence hall room. It moved from room to room with me during my undergraduate journey, ragged and worn, reminding me to enjoy the journey as much as the final destination of graduation.

I stumbled upon this very worn paper last week and immediately knew I wanted to read it at the Returning Women Student Scholars + Affiliates graduation celebration. This event has become a tradition in the Women’s Center as a means to celebrate our continuing and graduating returning women students who are UMBC students 25 years and older seeking their first undergraduate degree. These students are called “returning” because they often have various circumstances that have kept them from the traditional college path and they are now “returning” to college to pursue their degree. Student scholars in this program not only receive scholarships to help financial supplement their tuition, but also benefit from tailored support and programming from Women’s Center staff through individualized meetings, programs, and events that meet the specific needs of older students on campus. Each year we have between 20-25 scholars and affiliates participate in this unique program.

And, while the quote above spoke to me as a traditionally-aged student going to college right after high school, I felt that this quote would even more so resonate with the non-traditional and often non-linear path of an adult learner. So I read the quote after the graduating scholars received their scholars pin to commemorate their time as a scholarship recipient. As I assumed, the quote did resonate with them and their journey to get to this week’s undergraduate commencement and it felt important to share it again in this post intended to highlight and celebrate these graduating students. As you read some of their stories I know, you too, will also understand why this quote about one’s personal journey to reach the final destination is one fitting of the returning women student’s experience.

Returning Women Students at this year’s end of the year celebration and graduation event.

It is a joy and honor to work with these students and in my role as director of the Women’s Center, I want to invite you to join me in celebrating these fantastic students and their accomplishments. Below are some of our graduating students who in their own words share what they were involved in at UMBC, what’s next for them after UMBC, and some sage advice for other adult learners. Happy Graduation!!!

Cynthia Colon

My first semester at UMBC was in the Spring of 2015, and I admit I did not see a finish line in sight since I was only taking two classes. None the less I knew I would get there in time. In beginning the Social Work program, I knew the day would come where I would have to be in field two days a week but told myself I would cross that bridge when I got there. I was worried how I would be able to work to support myself and my family and attend field. In the fall of 2016, I met my boyfriend who has supported me in my journey and has been a great help with my children. In the summer of 2017, it was time to notify my supervisor that I would only be able to work three days a week. The prior year I had also passed my certified medical coder exam and thought if worse came to worse I would look for a medical coder job. To my surprise, my job worked with me and I agreed to work three ten-hour days in order to keep my benefits. I was relieved. At the end of July my family and I went on vacation to my home, Puerto Rico. A vacation I was looking forward to before starting my fall semester and my rigorous work schedule.

A few days after we returned from Puerto Rico I was not feeling myself and knew that something was not right. I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. So many things ran through my mind. Here I was, two semesters shy of graduating, something I had worked so hard for in the past two years and I was pregnant! How would I get through field, working three ten-hour days and taking a class? But I did it, and I will graduate Magna Cum Laude!! My son Aayan was born on April 9th, 2018 and I only missed that week of class. [italics are Jess’ emphasis because wow wow wow!!]

During my time at UMBC- USG campus I was part of the Social Work Student Association. I held the title as secretary for two semesters and then was elected vice president last semester. In addition, I was also a Phi Alpha Honor Society member. My plans after graduation are to continue working at my current job as a surgical scheduler. In the fall I will apply to the advanced standing Social Work program at the USG campus and go from there. As a Newcombe Scholar in the Returning Women Student Scholars program and a Kendall Scholar, I am proud to have shown my older children ages 14, 19, and 20, that it’s never too late to return to college and graduate.

Sage advice –  It is never too late to return to school and graduate. As long as you have the drive and determination you will succeed!

Marie Pessagno

My name is Marie Pessagno, and I transferred into UMBC as a full time student in 2015. I will graduate as a double major in Social Work and Gender and Women Studies, and have been accepted as a Title IV-E student in the Advanced Standing program at UMB School of Social Work. I hope to combine the two modalities that I have had the opportunity to study, as a social worker in the field of family and children with an emphasis on trauma-based recovery.

As a full-time single mother of two small girls, the thought of quitting my job and returning to school was daunting, to say the least. Through the Women’s Center and the Returning Women Students program, I have been able to successfully complete my undergraduate program with an abundance of support from so many levels. I have been able to find a home within the UMBC campus that allowed me to feel as if I were a part of the college community. I have had the privilege of working for the Women’s Center this past year, helping with the Returning Women Students program which allowed me to form connections and friendships that will last outside of UMBC.

My sage advice would be to become involved on campus. There really is something here for everyone. The Women’s Center and the events hosted by the Women’s Center, are great ways to become involved and to meet and make friends on campus. The connections that I have made through the Women’s Center has totally changed my college experience, and has given me an opportunity to meet a group of diverse people that I am honored to call “lifelong friends!”

Marie was featured in UMBC’s Class of 2018 student profiles. You can read her featured profile here. 

Marjan Beikzadeh

As a returning woman early on in my college experience, I endured many hardships. Being far away from my home and living in this country all alone, there were times that these circumstances made it difficult for me to go on, and days when I thought that I would not make it another day, let alone to graduation. Graduation from UMBC was a huge challenge for me and I wanted to quit and take the easy way out. It was at this time, my second year at UMBC that I found out about Returning Women Students programming, and in their meetings I encountered other returning women students and heard about their life stories. Some of them had to work full time while attending college. Others had families to attend to while they still were responsible for their studies. And then there were those very strong women that had families to raise and jobs to work and school all at the same time. It was not until I witnessed their amazing courage and strong character that I found in myself the will and determination to go on. I realized that being so focused on myself and my situation prevented me from paying attention to the way that those women are going through the struggles that I was experiencing, in addition to holding multiple other responsibilities outside of the college.

Being in this program helped me stay motivated and appreciate the hardships and sacrifices of all the women who went through this path, and were brave enough to endure these strenuous circumstances to provide better lives for themselves and for their families. My advice would be for other returning women students to take advantage of this program while at UMBC.

Whitney Pomeroy 

When I applied to UMBC, my husband and I had a four year old daughter and a one year old son. We were trying to figure out how long it would take for me to complete my degree plus certification to get my bachelor degree and become a teacher. We were struggling to find ways to pay for everything, including tuition, on one income as I commuted almost an hour to campus. However, I knew I wanted to teach, and I wanted to be a stronger role model for my kids. I started my first semester at UMBC in fall 2014, and though it’s been a long and bumpy road personally, I’m graduating with a degree in Environmental Studies, a Certificate in Elementary Education, and a GPA of 3.87! On my journey I was lucky to find the Women’s Center and the support they provided to returning women students (really to anyone who visits), in the form of encouragement, an out-of-the-way place to study or sit for a few minutes, and also financially. Now that I have completed my internship student teaching, graduation is next week and more big things lie ahead for me. We’re expecting baby number three at the beginning of July and I’m so excited to have been hired in my home county as a third grade teacher!

Looking back, my advice to returning women students is to let your challenges be your fuel and a reason to push harder toward your goals; and when you haven’t had enough sleep in weeks, stop by the Women’s Center for a cup of coffee to help compensate. As much as I hate to hear it, it applies to both good things and bad things, ‘this too shall pass’ and you’ll be better than okay.

Congratulations to our other Returning Women Students Scholars graduating this May:

Christina Allen
Samantha Bushee
Desiree Porquet
Mariah Rivera
Emily Wolfe

For more information about the Returning Women Student Scholars + Affiliates program, visit the Women’s Center website. Returning Women Students at UMBC are also encouraged to join the group’s Facebook group.

Meet Anna Gifty Opoku-Agyeman!

Your major(s) and minor(s): Mathematics and Economics

Your expected year of graduation: 2019

List any Scholars/Honors programs you are a part of: Honors College, Meyerhoff Scholars Program, MARC U*STAR Scholars Program

Title of your research project: The Impact of Early Childhood Malaria on Educational Attainment in Ghana

Describe your project: I am using two datasets from Ghana household survey data from 2012/2013 and malaria incidence rate data from 2000, to determine whether early childhood malaria increases the likelihood of a child dropping out of school or being held back a grade.

Who is your mentor(s) for your project? I am conducting research under the guidance of Dr. Tim Gindling, a UMBC professor in the Department of Economics, and Dr. Lauren Cohee, a researcher and infectious disease pediatrician at the University of Maryland’s School of Medicine Institute for Global Health (IGH). I am also collaborating with the Ghana Health Service. After speaking with Dr. Gindling about his research and involvement with the World Bank, I realized that he possessed the expertise and experience to provide sound mentorship on my project. I have worked on Dr. Cohee’s project for nearly two years. Her study, which focuses on low-density malaria infections among school-age children in southern Malawi, inspired me to look into the long-term educational implications of the disease. I knew that she would help Dr. Gindling and I better understand the epidemiological data as well as hone in the public health focus of my research. Also, I really enjoy my lab and our team, they’re pretty awesome.

How did you become interested in this project? I have always wanted to understand barriers to education for children and youth in Ghana, my homeland. My interest in public health, and eventually, infectious disease, emerged after working at the Institute for Global Health and learning about the hundreds of millions of children impacted by malaria worldwide. As I worked with Dr. Cohee on her project, I began asking questions about the long-term impact of our work and the role of disease in determining the educational outcomes of children. I also saw that there remains a significant gap in the literature and conversation surrounding malaria and school-age children. Typically, when we talk about malaria, we focus exclusively on children under the age of five. Research about how school performance and educational attainment are affected by malaria is sparse. I hope that my work begins to scratch the surface in understanding the long run costs of malaria among young children.

What has been the hardest part about your research/what was the most unexpected thing about being a researcher? The hardest part about my research has been data collection. Obtaining data from a sub-Saharan African country is very difficult. I had to call in some favors to get the contact information for the Ghana Health Service and jump through a couple more hoops to get the data that I needed. Moving forward, my mentors and I anticipate that controlling for many different confounding factors will be the hardest part about my research. Nevertheless, I am looking forward to the challenge. In general, the unpredictability and timing of research is what can make the process a bit stressful. I think many people come into research with a plan of how things are supposed to go, but then reality hits. It’s best to patient with the process and yourself.

What has been the most rewarding part? I love talking to laymen about the work that I am doing. The most satisfying feeling is to see the light bulb go off in someone’s head or entertain questions that I had not previously thought about. For this project, I am really excited to explore how this research informs the decision-making of educators and health workers in Ghana.

How will you disseminate your research? My aim is to share my research with the Ghana Health Service (GHS), Ministry of Health, Ministry of Education, and the Ghanaian community at large. I also plan to present at URCAD next year and submit my work to a number of undergraduate  and public health journals.

What is your advice to other students about getting involved in research? I want to encourage students to be bold and reach out to people who are conducting research that interests them. Oftentimes, students will assume that they cannot join a lab or with a professor because they don’t have the highest grades or the most experience. While there is definitely a learning curve, I think that it is important to identify mentors who will tap into your potential; this means putting yourself out there, calling a PI (Primary Investigator), and/or attending conferences on and off campus. UMBC is unique because information about undergraduate research can be obtained through a variety of different programs and campus-wide initiatives made available to students. This kind of a luxury is scarcely available to students who attend larger institutions. Many of these programs (e.g. Meyerhoff Friend Program, McNair Scholars Program, MARC U*STAR Scholars Program) offer resources and advice for those who are new to research. Also, if a student is not interested in any of the research on campus, I recommend off-campus research. I know some people who work remotely with their PI.

What are your career goals? Currently, I would like to obtain a Ph.D in Economics. I hope to work at the intersection of academia and policy and research the barriers to human capital accumulation in sub-Saharan Africa and Black America.

Photo: Anna presenting her researcher at URCAD 2018

Want to be featured as a Researcher of the Week? Email: aprilh@umbc.edu

• Leads the library's investigation and implementation of emerging technology to better serve library's clientele.
• Develops a technology plan that builds on the university and library strategic plans to address new opportunities and pursue possibilities of adapting and applying technology solutions.
• In collaboration with the Director and Associate Directors, participates in library planning; serves on library-wide, university and university system committees and task forces including the Library Executive Council.
• Represents the UMBC Library on appropriate state, regional and national committees.
• Represents the UMBC Library in the adoption and technical integration of new University System of Maryland and Affiliated Institutions technology projects.
• Works in partnership with the campus DoIT for discovery, planning and implementation of new technology and insures that library systems and computing are robust and operational.
• Keeps current with trends and issues in the IT industry, including current technologies and costs.
• Provides leadership in coordinating and defining technology requirements for library-wide projects and initiatives.
• Oversees Library Information Technology Services composed of library faculty and staff and student employees and works with other areas of the library and university that are affiliated with technology.

• ALA accredited MLS or equivalent advanced degree.
• Minimum 3 years of progressively responsible professional experience in IT-related project management in an academic library setting.
• Demonstrated experience and scholarship to be eligible for appointment at the rank of Librarian II and to meet the university requirements for reappointment, promotion, and permanent status as outlined in part 6.6 of the Faculty Handbook https://provost.umbc.edu/faculty-handbook
• Experience with library technologies and technology planning and demonstrated knowledge of current technology trends.
• Demonstrated experience in implementing new technologies or services, e.g. virtual servers, immersive technologies, and maker spaces.
• Strong analytical and decision making skills.
• Minimum 3 years of managing and developing staff.
• Proven leadership and management skills.
• Proven experience working in a collaborative team environment.
• Ability to work collaboratively across the University to advance the technology needs of the library and library users.
• Excellent interpersonal skills including ability to communicate clearly, knowledgeably and personably both orally and in writing.

• Knowledge and understanding of significant trends and issues in the application of information technology to libraries and higher education, including research support and information management services and solutions.
• Experience working with Windows, Mac, and Linux operating systems, client side computing and cloud technology.
• Experience developing IT policies for workflows and software support.
• Experience working with assistive technology for accommodation and accessibility.
• Demonstrated record of participation in relevant professional associations and ongoing professional development.
• Experience working with a larger campus information and computing group.
• Experience working in a consortia of libraries.

They’re going to find out I’m a fake

“It’s all just dumb luck” “Why would they choose me for the job?” “I don’t deserve this; I didn’t earn this. This has to be a mistake!” “God, if they only knew … “ These are some of the things that have gone through our minds after getting a job, achieving a goal, being praised for a job well done, or even just being complimented on a nice outfit.  No matter how talented we are, no matter how hard we worked to get there, there’s a part of us that feel undeserving. What’s more, it’s not just an evil voice that whisper these ugly things in our heads, but a feeling. A sick feeling in the pit of our gut that just won’t go away, despite our achievements. No, it’s not just you. I’ve been there, too. Yes, there is a term for it: imposter syndrome.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

According to Scientific American imposter syndrome is “a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, insecurity, or fraudulence despite often overwhelming evidence to the contrary.” In other words, you feel like you’re a phony, you’re constantly doubting and second-guessing yourself, and think everything you do is a sham. You are unable to accept your accomplishment, let alone enjoy it.

The term, imposter phenomenon, was first used by clinical psychologists Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes in 1978 to describe the feeling often felt by high-functioning women who felt their accomplishments were more from luck than their own hard work and ability. These women felt as if they were fakes, that they would be revealed as frauds.

When first “discovered,” health professionals thought this syndrome affected predominantly women, but now, after much research, they have found it affects men and women equally. It affects people of all genders who are high functioning and high achieving. Now, having said that,  women also deal with pronounced sexism plus internalized sexism which makes this an important topic for us to dig into here on the Women’s Center blog.

Why are women more susceptible to imposter syndrome than men? Perhaps it’s the conditioning of countless generations of women to be “modest,” to be “humble,” to be the caretakers and caregivers and to melt into the background while allowing the men to stand in front, to take charge, to shine. Perhaps it’s the millenia or more of telling our daughters and sisters and nieces that boys are “smarter than girls,” that we are “less than” our male counter parts, that we weren’t meant to be their equals. In Kate Bahn’s piece Faking It: Women, Academia, and Imposter Syndrome she writes: “a recent survey of undergraduates at Boston College, which showed that female students finished college with lower self-esteem than they started with. Male students, on the other hand, graduated with greater self-confidence (albeit lower GPAs) than their female peers.” No matter how much education we acquire, no matter how much more qualified we become, the feeling of inadequacy never leaves, instead, it just gets stronger.

Famous people who struggle with imposter syndrome

Here is a quote by Maya Angelou from the website theHUSTLE. Would you think she struggled with imposter syndrome?

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”

MAYA ANGELOU

Michelle Pfeiffer (multiple nominee for Academy Awards and Golden Globe awards, successful actor, producer), Chris Martin (lead singer of the popular band Cold Play, song writer, producer), Sheryl Sandburg (COO of Facebook, former vice president of global online sales and operations at Google, named one of 2012 Time 100 most influential people, wife, mother) … the list goes on. What’s the one thing they all have in common? They all feel they’ve been putting on an act, that they are frauds, none of their accolades are earned.

How do you handle imposter syndrome?

There’s power in naming so now that you know about imposter syndrome, how can you fix it? Well, there aren’t any magic pills that will make imposter syndrome go away. No genie in a bottle and a wish or o magic wand to wave over yourself. In other words there are no easy fixes that will make you feel gloriously confident and deserving of it all. There are, however, ways of coping and overcoming the relentless, self-damaging, at times, debilitating taunts.

There are the usual go-to tips: meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, healthy eating and lifestyle, and of course, that elusive ingredient, sleep. Yes, in a perfect world this would solve the problem, but for most of us stress and lack of sleep is the norm, so here are some other tips on how to manage your imposter syndrome. 

1.  Don’t sell yourself short. The website Personal Excellence states: “Maybe you feel like a fraud because you don’t think you have anything good to offer … know that whatever place you are at in life now, you are here because you are ready for it.” Know that your being who you are is what’s going to give this job the uniqueness that only you can bring to the position. You are the only apple in a sea of oranges.  Or the only orange in the sea of apples.  Or the kiwi … or the grapes …  you get the picture.
2. “Stop comparing yourself to that person”. As I’ve stated in #1 you are unique. Your accomplishments are unique. Thinking your way is not as good as someone else’s is not only self-sabotaging, it’s futile. You are different people, therefore, your way of doing things are different. You are not them; they are not you. End of story.
3. Allow yourself to make mistakes. We don’t learn from our successes, we learn from our mistakes. Being wrong, making mistakes, is not a waste of time, merely lessons learned. Get upset, get angry, then get back up and use those lessons. Only you can turn the “wrongs” into valuable “rights”.

Self-doubt, anxiety, panic, fear, stress …    

 Everyone has moments of self-doubt and anxiety. We are juggling school, work, for some, family, and many more issues daily. The world is full of things that bring on stress and anxiety, every minute, every hour, every day. The Women’s Center at UMBC is one of the places you can come and share with other women who are struggling with similar issues, experiences, and solutions and options with each other. If you feel you need to speak to someone on a one-on-one basis the professional staff members along with our student staff members, and those who utilize the Center regularly. Know that there are people who understand when you say “I don’t deserve this” or “It was a mistake” or “I’m a fake.” We are journeying, experiencing, and dealing with this very common issue. Please, don’t be afraid to share what you’re going through, even if it’s just with a pen on a sheet of paper. And if it’s keeping you from functioning in your daily life, please, seek counseling. We at the Women’s Center will help connect you with the resources you may need. Know that you are not alone in struggling with imposter syndrome. We are here to listen, and we will help any way we can.

Even More Resources:

From AAUW’s Being a Woman in STEM Isn’t Easy

Check out Feminist Fight Club from the Women’s Center library

From Everyday Feminism – a way to tackle imposter syndrome with an intersectional lens

Ariana  is a double major in Biology (BA) and Psychology (BA), who will graduate in 2019. She is a member of the Honors College and 2018-19 URA Scholar.

Title of your research project:  Rat Prostate Cancer Model

Describe your project: To create a floxed P53 rat, for prostate specific P53 loss.

Who is your mentor(s) for your project? My mentors are Michael Rubenstein and Dr. Bieberich from the Biology Department. I found my mentor by talking to my bio 141 TA, who advised me to email specific professors at UMBC that encompassed my interests in genetic research, cancer research, and working with animal models. 

How did you become interested in this project? I became interested in this project because I had a passion for cancer treatment and research, and have a strong interest in how genetics influence disease initiation and progression. I also was excited to work closely with rats and mice given I had previously worked in animal care. Another aspect of my research that caught my interest is that I would conduct different surgical procedures on rats and mice. Given that I want to become a physician, this is exciting because I am able to learn and practice some skills I will later learn in medical school.

What has been the hardest part about your research/what was the most unexpected thing about being a researcher? The hardest part about research is that a seemingly simple experiment can fail countless times before it will work. Often, these experiments are composed of dozens of steps that take up anywhere from several hours to several days. It can get disheartening, but it’s important to not give up. From watching my mentor, I have found that resiliency is an important quality of a strong researcher.

What has been the most rewarding part?  The most rewarding part about my research is that I am able to contribute to the progress of cancer research, even though my role is small. By being a part of the research community, I am able to see all the progress cancer research has already made, and this inspires me to work hard.

How will you disseminate your research? I presented at the UMSOM 9^th Annual Cancer Biology Research Retreat on April 30th. I have also presented at URCAD in the spring of 2017, and will again next spring (2019).

What is your advice to other students about getting involved in research?  My advice is to not delay. The sooner you can get started in research, the better understanding you will have about what your passions are, and the more time you will have to contribute to your lab.

What are your career goals? My career goals are to become a Pediatric Oncologist and to integrate research into my daily working life.