A Women’s Center blog post by staff member Daniel Willey 

Note: I hope what I’ve learned can be applicable to other people, but I know my experience isn’t universal. I use a lot of action verbs in my post, but I don’t intend to make assumptions about what a body can do. I encourage readers to challenge their ideas of how one might “feel” and “wiggle” and “tend” and “look” and “know” in different ways, and how you as an individual do these things in a way that is unique to you and your body.

This is a twelve-step program designed to teach you how to be tender to yourself.

1. Have a Major Body Event.

Have surgery. Be or become disabled. Learn to use new assistive technology. Get fitted for a prosthetic. Gain weight. Lose weight. Start a health challenge. Buy new clothes. Get new hair. Have a child. Age.

2. Lose your body.

What is your body? What does your body mean now? What did it mean before? Is it different? How is it different? Why? Is this still you? Where are you?

3. Recognize your new body.

This is your body. Look at it. What do you see? Locate yourself. Are you in your thighs? Are you in your shoulders? Where are you? You are here.

4. Know that this will be hard.

How does your body challenge you? What about your body makes it hard to be tender? Hold these things in your hands and know this will be hard. Take a deep breath.

5. Begin to unlearn.

“To be alive in this world at all: indeed to be queer, a person of color, a person with a disability, trans, a woman or poor, is to have self-hatred non-consensually woven into your education in personhood before you’re even aware the air you are breathing.” –Lila (for Autostraddle)

“Your education in personhood” is fraught. What has the world taught you about your body? Why? Where did you learn these things?

6. Begin your affirmations.

“All bodies are good bodies.” What can your body do? What can your body not do? What does your body do differently? Your body is a good body. Revel in this.

7. Allow yourself to be angry (upset, frustrated, sad).

Let the heat fill you up from your toes and let it tingle on your skin. Draw out all the ill feelings and let them swim in your anger (sadness, frustration). Know these feelings. Take a deep breath and push them out of your lungs and your eyes and your nose and your fingers and your knees and the top of your head. Acknowledge them as they leave.

8. Fill the empty spaces.

Where did your ill feelings live? What do their empty homes look like? Tuck forgiveness in your belly. Fill your back with strength. Dab pride behind your ears.

9. Know that this will be hard.

“Your education in personhood” is woven into your roots and your ill feelings have grown roots too. It will take time to make them leave. Some never will.

10. Tend ill feeling weeds.

Get to know your weeds. If you can’t make them leave, learn where their roots go. What do the weeds look like? How do they smell? Are you irritated by thorns or stray root hairs? Soothe with aloe. Remind your weeds: “You are a visitor here. I own my body.” Accept your weeds. Know they are with you but they are not you. Accept your weeds. Be tender where they grow.

11. Touch your body.

Feel how soft your earlobes are. Delight in the bumps and the lumps and the humps. Wiggle your toes if you can. Stretch and feel your body expand. Take up space! Oh it feels good to be a body! Drink cool water on a hot day. Take a hot shower on a cold morning. Revel in sensation.

12. Repeat.

Your body will change over and over again. Excite in this. Know it will be hard every time. Know it can get easier. Take someone with you next time. Be a good body with another good body. Find joy in exuding love outward and pouring love inward. Know love does not mean always loving, always delighting. Know love means patience. Love is sometimes found a little deeper than you would like. Your body is a good body. Revel in this.

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13. Know that everything in your life will work against you on this journey.

via robot-hugs.com.com/under-2

I recently had top surgery….

….it was really hard to make myself rest. Don’t let this photo fool you. I was full of pain meds at the time.

These twelve steps take a lot of energy. As students, workers, homemakers, parents living in a world that praises us for pushing ourselves to the limit, setting aside time and energy to care for ourselves can be a radical act. We talk about self-care and self-love all the time in the Women’s Center and as feminists because prioritizing oneself requires so much unlearning.

Mothers are expected to be Super Mom — PTA, soccer, bake sale, appointments, dinner, laundry, carpool, work, school — and be totally selfless about it. Women who set aside time to take care of themselves are “high maintenance.” Companies like Dove use self-love and body positivity to market their products while profiting from self-hate by selling skin-whitening products. Even much of the body positivity movement expects you to love yourself all the time as if you haven’t been born into a society that feeds off your insecurity.

As a student at UMBC, I am having to make the difficult decision between keeping a pretty big scholarship and maintaining my mental and physical health. It’s taken me a year to get to this point, but I’m finally choosing myself. So many people have suggested I “just try harder” and “quit everything but school,” but very few have acknowledged the strength it takes to say “I matter. My health and wellbeing are my priority.”

Though UMBC resources like the Counseling Center, UMBC NAMI, UHS, and Retriever Wellness take steps to help students manage stress and mental health, there’s still much to be done. Academic rigor and attitudes about academic success can create a toxic climate for students and often our resources are funneled into praising students who do well rather than helping and uplifting students who need help.

Even as feminists who firmly believe in treating ourselves, it can be so hard to say “no” when it feels like you’re the only one who will say “yes.” Burnout is a big issue in social justice work not only because it is so emotionally taxing, but also because we who do the work feel like we need to be doing all the work all the time. This comic does a great job of talking about how we as activists can better manage our projects and priorities.

It’s also important to remember that self-care can be a privilege. Single mothers, Black folks, people on welfare or food stamps, and many others are expected to not engage in self-care or self-love as if doing so is a sign of incompetence or laziness. It is becoming increasingly more clear the traumatic effect racism has on people of color in the U.S. and it’s statistically proven that people in poverty experience consistently higher levels of stress. As Audre Lorde said, “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” As a queer Black woman and a mother, caring for herself was a radical act of resistance.

Don’t forget to check out the Women’s Center’s Self-Care Day event at the end of each semester and these related Women’s Center blog posts!

UMBC Women Who Rock is a blog series I’ve been writing since last year and it has become one of my favorite things to think and write about for the Women’s Center blog. In my role as Women’s Center director, I have some of the best opportunities to become acquainted with some of UMBC’s best and brightest women on campus. I admire the ways they live authentic lives unapologetically that challenge the stereotypes and assumptions that are often assigned to women. By debunking these stereotypes and forcing us to check our assumptions, they allow us to expand our notion of what a woman is and can be.   – Jess 

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UMBC Women Who Rock!
Pritma “Mickey” Irizarry, Assistant Director of Health Education

Mickey, UHS’s Health Education Assistant Director, shares her I’m Not as part of the Telling Our Stories Project

Mickey Irizarry is a #girlboss. She is also a UMBC Woman Who Rocks.

What is a #girlboss? She is many things. “A #girlboss is in charge of her own life. She gets what she wants because she works for it.” #Girlboss is also more than just a type of person but a platform that is meant to inspire women to lead deliberate lives. It’s not just about being about the boss of other people, but being the boss of your own life.

It’s Mickey, who first shared the concept of #girlboss with me last fall. There is a book by the same title written by Sophia Amoruso, founder and CEO of fashion retailer Nasty Gal. Inspired by the book (and there’s also a podcast), I began hearing and seeing Mickey use the hashtag often in support or to congratulate other women on campus. I too was on the receiving end of a #girlboss shout-out from Mickey and it felt really great.

That’s what also makes Mickey a UMBC Woman Who Rocks. She didn’t just take #girlboss as an inspiration for herself and hold it tight and privately. Rather, she shares it with others. Mickey isn’t just the boss of her own life, but it is important for her to encourage and support others to do the same. When I asked her more about this she said, “If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will either” and then went on to say but “it took me a long time to master that – and its still hard to fight the impostor syndrome.” This is why its so important for her to support other women, to show them that she sees potential in them, and give them credit where credit is due. This of course, reminds me of shine theory which I’ve written about in other UMBC Women Who Rock posts. Shine theory as explained by Ann Friedman in her article states that “Surrounding yourself with the best people doesn’t make you look worse by comparison. It makes you better.” Otherwise known as, “I don’t shine, if you don’t shine.”

So, I wanted spotlight Mickey as our in-residence #girlboss for this UMBC Women Who Rocks post. Between my initial reaching out to feature her and the time that it took me to write this, though, Mickey was offered and accepted a new position at American University as the Director of the Wellness Center! Her last day with us at UMBC is March 11th. So while this didn’t start off with the intention of being a tribute post, it seems that this is where this post is going to have to go. So you’ve been warned, it might get a little warm and fuzzy up in here. 

Taken way back during Mickey’s first semester working at UMBC.

Mickey started her time at UMBC seven and half years ago in September of 2008 as the Health Educator in the Health Education office at University Health Services. Under her leadership, the Peer Health Education program has grown immensely promoting the importance and value of student wellness to thousands of students over the years at UMBC. As you’ll learn later, Mickey absolutely sees the Peer Health Education program as the legacy she’ll leave behind. It’s not just the program she’s proud of but the way being its leader helped her grow as a professional, encouraged to look at health from various perspectives, and the way it allowed her to build connections and community for University Health Services (and more!). Beyond UHS, Mickey has been out and about on campus serving on many committees (like the Women’s Center Advisory Board for many years) and teaching IHU courses. Mickey is also an integral member of the new Staff of Color Network (SCN) and with the support of a few others, she’s helped SCN get off the ground and operate as a safe space for staff of color at UMBC (you can read more about the women behind SCN here). All of this and more earned her the recent promotion of assistant director of health education.

Another little fun fact about Mickey’s time here –  it was a very poignant #girlboss moment that gave UMBC the return of Take Back the Night. Mickey and I were sitting on a UMBC bus heading back from Towson University where we took some students to participate in their Take Back the Night. Perhaps it was the fact that traffic on 695 is the absolute worse or maybe it was feeling inspired by such a powerful event, but we ended up on that bus talking with each other about the idea of hosting our own Take Back the Night at UMBC. We got this. We can do this. We have the skills to make this happen. Without the concept of #girlboss, we #girlbossed the hell out of each other that night. Five years later this April, we’ll be hosting the fourth annual Take Back the Night on campus. It’s a huge event that is not only well attended but has given space for survivors to share their story and reclaim their healing. It is by far one of the most meaningful and important things I work on each year. Without Mickey, who knows if it would ever have been what it is today.

Mickey with many of the peers at last year’s 3rd Annual Take Back the Night

As the years pass by, when I think back to the time Mickey was a part of the UMBC community, I’ll certainly appreciate the work she dedicated to create an awesome peer health education program and the help she gave me to bring back Take Back the Night to campus, but I’ll feel most grateful for the #girlboss moments she created within myself and those we created for each other. I’ll think about the safe space we created and held up for each other to sort through professional moments when we felt disappointed, discouragement, or anger. Those moments where we could close the door, take off our masks, and just be ourselves. As young professional women trying to find our place at UMBC and simply just begin the foundations of our careers being vulnerable to others was (is) often a hard and scary thing to do. And, sexism doesn’t make that any easier. Mickey made me feel supported and that I belonged and that I could conquer whatever challenge was before me in that moment. I hope that I helped her feel the same. Without us even realizing, it was in those moments over the past five years that we were allowing ourselves to be #girlbosses for each other.

I’ll also think about the ways she created space for so many of the student peers in the health education program to also become the #girlboss of their own lives. I had the chance to work with many of these students as well, and the confidence and passion Mickey infused throughout their being was palpable. I know they’ll be reading this post so I’ll name just a few – Bria, Yoo-Jin, Kayla, Kristine… you know what I’m talking about, right?! Yes, Mickey built up a strong and vibrant health education program here at UMBC, but more importantly, she built up the people who are the program, specifically so many women, to be confident leaders, expand their dreams, and be exponentially greater for years and years to come.

Over hot chocolates a few weeks ago, I asked Mickey what she felt was the legacy she was going to leave behind when she left UMBC. Her first response was the Peer Health Education program – its strength, that it’s well-respected, has a competitive application process, and that though it is serious business, it’s also fun and engaging. She then thought a bit more and said, “I have LITERALLY grown up in my time here.” She was 21 when she first started working at UMBC. Along the way, she earned her master’s degree in Sociology and became a UMBC alum, she collaborated with so many different kinds of people and groups at UMBC, met some of her dearest friends here, and fell in love with fellow UMBC staff member, AJ Irizarry, creating yet another UMBC love story.

I’m so excited for this next part of Mickey’s journey. American University will be lucky to have her just as UMBC was so lucky to have her these past 7 and a half years. When she gets to American University, she’s gonna be THE BOSS!! And, yet to the many at UMBC who have been touched by Mickey, we already knew she is a boss, a #girlboss, who helped us grow up along the way, be deliberate with our lives, and shine confidence for the world to see and us to believe in. And, that is why Mickey Irizarry will always be a UMBC Woman Who Rocks!

Mickey with the 2015-16 peers during fall training.

Who are the UMBC women in your life that inspire you to think outside your expectations and assumptions? What are the counter narrative stories they’re sharing with us allowing UMBC and our greater community to be more of exactly who we want to be? Comment below and maybe you’ll just find them featured in a future UMBC Women Who Rock post.

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Check out other UMBC Women Who Rock:

Amanda Knapp (August 2014)
Susan Dumont (October 2014)
Jahia Knobloch (January 2015)
A Reflection on Encouragement and Accountability (February 2015)
Amelia Meman (March 2015)
Ashley Sweet (May 2015)
Rehana Shafi (August 2015)
The Women Behind the Staff of Color Network (September 2015)

    A post by Women’s Center staff member Daniel Willey

Earlier this semester, as I’m sure you all remember, we got hit (bombarded, pelted, buried, whatever) by winter storm Jonas. BWI airport recorded almost 30 inches of snow and the wind blew the icy flakes sideways into drifts best navigated with a harness and rope or a tunneling machine. 

The sea of snow outside my house in Halethorpe on Sunday

Baltimore shut down the Light Rail, MARC, and buses for almost a week — only the fourth MTA shutdown in the last 40 years. My roommates and I braved the grocery store on Thursday night before the storm hit and it was a nightmare. I thought my mom was just being a mom when she texted to warn me that all the bread was gone. Some impatient man in a business suit chased me away from my parking spot at the Giant by honking his horn repeatedly so he could swoop in and take it. People were getting nasty.

Now, I’m used to this kind of snow.

Our dog Raven wondering how she’ll ever get out to pee

Having grown up in the mountains in Western Maryland, I’ve seen my fair share of snow and ice storms. But I’ve never experienced it in an urban setting and I’ve definitely never been old enough to be the responsible snow survivor before. It got me really thinking about what it means to have a snow day and how the local and state government reactions to something like Jonas has a lot more to do with social issues and inequality than you might think.

The MTA shutdown is what got me thinking first. If you’ve ever taken a Baltimore City bus you know our transportation system is flaky at best. But you probably also know how many people rely on the MTA every day for school and work and errands and everything else. When it shut down, all those people suddenly lost that essential piece to their everyday goings-on. And sure, the first day or so when nobody could leave their homes anyway may not have mattered. But the people who do the hourly and low-wage jobs that are essential to the running of any city had to get to work on Sunday. And Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday.

The MARC and Light Rail didn’t start back up until Wednesday (on a limited schedule) and even though there were buses on Monday, there weren’t very many and it was a total free-for-all in terms of scheduling for several days. While we UMBC students and many people in office or management or government jobs (positions with salaries and benefits and paid leave) had half a week of snow days, the snow plow and bus drivers, food service workers, maintenance and road workers, hotel staff, emergency responders, retail workers, grocery store clerks, pharmacists, and nurses (and the many many others who rely on pay from every hour they can get their hands on) made the trek to work with basically no transit system.

Well, she got out but she is not happy about it

And then I thought about my horrible grocery store experience. I thought about the brave souls running the checkout aisles and managing the rapidly depleting inventory. I thought about all the families without cars or living in food deserts who would struggle to get provisions for the coming storm. What about disabled people or older adults who couldn’t hustle to the store and back in time? I thought about the low income families who are unable to spend large amounts of money at once to stockpile supplies or those who had run out of food stamps because it was the end of the month. What about the people whose heat was shut off? Or those living in abandoned houses or their cars or in the tents on MLK Blvd?

When I picked my boyfriend up from work early on Friday (because there was no bus– surprise!) he said, “The people who are running around and freaking out right now are going to be fine.” And he was right. We had the money to stock up on food. We could afford to live in quality, well-maintained housing with good heat and a solid roof. They had plowed out our whole neighborhood by Sunday afternoon. A friend of mine who lives on Guilford Ave a few blocks outside of Station North said the road was plowed a few blocks down from where it connected to North Ave, but then it just ended. There was no dead end, no cars blocking the street, nothing to indicate it would make more sense to stop there than to continue down into the poorer or residential areas down the street. The lines of where plowing happened first and last show a very clear indication of what areas of the city are important and why.

Taking a snow day is a luxury. Getting a snow day means that if you don’t have a salaried position with paid leave, you have to lose pay for lost hours. Sometimes it means making a choice between braving a dangerous commute and earning your next meal — or even just keeping your job (and if there’s no public transportation, the low-income portion of the 30% of Baltimore residents without cars can’t get to work). A snow day is made possible by people who can’t take a snow day.

Getting a snow day can be fun for some students, but many low-income students rely on free school meals. For some students, this is their only steady source of nutrition.

On the Tuesday after the storm, only female Senate members and their female staff showed up to work on Capitol Hill. Proceedings had been postponed until Wednesday, but someone had to be there to make an official motion to postpone the Senate in order for that to happen. Those people were women. Sure, some may have been truly snowed in but, like I said, a snow day is made possible by people who didn’t get one.

The way a city handles a snowstorm is a social justice issue because socio-economic status is a major factor in the health, safety, and well-being of low-income and at-risk populations. So, think about it. What (and who) made your snow day possible?

Get to know the Women’s Center’s Spring 2016 staff — including our newest student staff member, Shira!

Women’s Center Staff – Spring 2016

Shira Devorah (she/her)
Hi, my name is Shira Devorah. I’m a Gender and Women’s Studies and Psychology double major in my junior year here at UMBC. I’m planning on spending a lot more time in school in order to become a Clinical Psychologist specializing in counseling LGBTQ youth, homeless youth, and transitioning youth. Eventually I would love to come back to a university and teach. I am a bisexual woman, and LGBTQIA+ issues are my passion. I believe that an intersectional approach to feminist thought and action is vital. I am also a Peer Health educator with University Health Services, and I am interested in conducting research regarding the discrepancies in health education for LGBTQIA+ youth. In my spare time, I love to journal, binge on Netflix, and sing along to musicals. I’m really excited to have the opportunity to work here at the Women’s Center! I want to challenge myself to become more involved in feminist activism, here on campus and within the Baltimore community. I would love to continue to learn, grow, and create with every person who takes the time to visit the Women’s Center and participate in the brave conversations happening here.

Meagé Clements (she/her)
Hi! My name is Meagé, and I am a new staff member in the Women’s Center. I am currently a senior studying Psychology and Social Work, as well as a member of UMBC’s Honors College. I am a social work intern at Delrey School, where I will be working with children and adolescents with cerebral palsy, among other physical and intellectual disabilities. After college, I hope to earn my MSW and find a career where I can help marginalized and oppressed people thrive in our society. In addition to being a staff member in UMBC’s Women’s Center, I am a member of Zeta Sigma Chi Multicultural Sorority Inc. In my spare time, I enjoy yoga, reading, listening to music and creative writing. This semester, I am excited to learn and become more involved in the efforts of the Women’s Center. If you happen to see me in the Women’s Center or around campus, feel free to say hello! I am looking forward to meeting new people and engaging in some thoughtful dialogues!

Carrie Cleveland (she/her)
My name is Carrie. I am BEYOND excited to be starting my last year at UMBC. I will graduate in May with a degree in social work after being in college for ten years. Yep. That is NOT a typo. Ten FREAKING years. See, I have three daughters and they keep me incredibly busy and because of that I decided that part time was the way to be. I think we will all be doing a happy dance when I graduate.

Beyond that, I am involved with the BreakingGround initiative on campus as a member of the Community Program Grant Committee. I also am a member of the Leadership Advisory Committee. I am also super proud to be a Return Women’s Scholar. It was my membership in that group that first brought me to the Women’s Center and that has been such a source of support for me as I took the long and windy road to graduation. Other that that, I am a wife, a friend, a chick from New Jersey, a lover off all things pop culture and a huge fan of They Might Be Giants.

MJ Jalloh-Jamboria (they/them)
Hey! I’m MJ Jalloh-Jamboria.  I am currently a Gender/Women Studies and Interdisciplinary Studies (Pathology) double major. My minor is Critical Sexuality. This is my second year at UMBC and my first year as a student stuff member here at the Women’s Center. In addition to that, I am the Director of Events of the Council of Majors/Minors. Finally, I am the Music Director of UMBC’s newest a Capella group, the Culture Chords. I know it may sound like a lot but I enjoy staying busy and contributing to the UMBC community!

My favorite thing to do, besides singing and eating, is to look at how my identities come into play as I interact with the world around me. As a fat, non-binary, first generation West African Immigrant, Muslim person, I have a lot to think about!

Daniel Willey (he/him) 
Hey everyone! My name is Dan and I am a junior GWST major. I joined the Women’s Center staff last year and I am so excited to be back again as the senior staff member. You’ll see me around a lot because I never actually leave the Center. I am the peer facilitator for Spectrum and Rebuilding Manhood, and I’m very involved with the LGBTQIA+ community here. I love answering questions! If you want to have a discussion about or have questions about gender, sexuality, sexual health, polyamory, fiber crafts, cats, or Steven Universe, I’m your guy! I live by the idea that everyone has the capacity for good and every interaction can be a learning moment. Being at the Women’s Center feels like not only a home away from home, but the place where I have learned how to be the best version of me. I really hope the Center can be these things for everyone, and I do my best to facilitate that here. If you need anything, please ask! I’m very excited to meet you all.

Megan Tagle Adams, Assistant Director (she/her)
I’m an unapologetic feminist and woman of color. I’m not your model minority. I’m an introvert. I’m not always angry. I’m Team Nicki. I’m a cat lady. I’m a queer femme. I’m not ashamed of my love of boy bands. I’m an advocate for critical social justice. I’m a picky eater. I’m not a fan of Maryland’s humidity. I’m looking forward to another great year at the Women’s Center! 

Jess Myers, Director (she/her)
Wow-wee, where do I begin?! Today I logged into my LinkedIn account because I got an alert that someone was looking at my profile… who was checking me out?! I had to know. Long story short, I found myself skimming through my profile and was alerted to the fact that I have been Director of the Women’s Center at UMBC for 4 years and 6 months. How lucky am I?! I have learned and grown as a professional, as a feminist, and as a person so much since I first arrived here at UMBC. I have gotten to work with some of UMBC’s brightest and most courageous students. I’ve learned how to insert gifs into emails and how to tweet on the Twitter. I’ve been challenged and held accountable to expand my notions of feminism beyond “white feminism” and to boldly live out my social justice values in a critical way. Moreover, I get to work in a place where I am authentically me.

I love being silly. I relish in the opportunity to use Leslie Knope gifs as a mode of communication. I identify as a queer lesbian and deserve medals for my fierceness in spin class. I approach my work from my collegiate background in social work and identify as a student affairs professional. I’ve lived in Washington, D.C., Kingston, Jamaica, and Fort Collins, Colorado but Baltimore is my hometown. It is a city that forever is rooted in my heart and very being. I also really love my introduction from last year and want to share it again (I’m a big fan of also not recreating the wheel!). You’ll find me on here most often blogging through my UMBC Women Who Rocks series and other Women’s Center confessions I like to make public. Basically and most importantly, I love my job… I’m looking forward to a year full of challenges, successes, and learning opportunities!

A winter lesisure book report compiled by Women’s Center Director, Jess Myers

The winter term is wrapping up and the “spring” semester (and winter storm Jonas) is right around the corner. I’m already mourning what I know will soon be the inevitable dry season of leisure reading which will be replaced by amazing Women’s Center events and programs (plus, let’s be honest, the last season of Parks and Rec is finally on Netflix and Leslie is calling my name). Before that, though, I thought I’d report out on my winter reading list.

I gave myself few rules to follow as I selected my books for the winter break. I purposely avoided the critical feminist textbooks I have on my reading list and did not seek out books with themes of sexual violence (I’m still recovering from last winter’s reading Roxane Gay’s An Untamed State. Amazing and heartbreaking.). I steered myself in the direction of “light” and “fun,” sought out stories with women positioned as critical characters, and kept to the intentional practice of reading books authored by women or people of color only. I’m already reflecting on the more intentional ways I’ll need to craft my next binge reading session. While most of my winter reads ended up on my list through recommendations from feminist and social justice-orientated friends or podcasts, the end result still produced a very white-centric cast of women authors. This is in contrast to last winter, when I sought out specific authors such as Gay and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and took away a much more intersectional and global perspective through my reading. I’ve (re)learned it’s not good enough to just exclude white male authors when seeking out book recommendations if you’re really looking to expand your perspective beyond stories of whiteness and white supremacy.

So here’s my report (I’ve also included links for the full official summary of each book):

In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume
I was supposed to be a part of a book club and this book was the December read. Long story short, I ended up not going to the discussion but continued reading the book anyways. I had just listened to a podcast about Judy Blume and was feeling disappointed that I never really got into reading her many young adult novels growing up especially after learning more about the ways in which Blume’s books were censored and banned throughout the years due to their portrayals of girls’ bodies, puberty and exploring sexuality. In the Unlikely Event, three planes crash in a small town in New Jersey over the course of just two months in 1952. The story is told from the view of various characters, to include my favorite, young Miri Ammerman. Though the town is experiencing horror, death, and devastation, life does not stop for Miri and many other characters. First loves, big dreams, complex family relationships, and complicated friendships all still ravel and unravel giving Unlikely that classic Blume appeal.
Recommend it? Sure, why not? The Ammerman family’s love and loyalty for each other told through not only a mother-daughter perspective but grandmother-mother-daughter perspective is rich and moving. Just don’t consider it as a read for your next long plane ride – having the story recently in my mind before flying for the holidays made me more anxious than normal about take-off and landing.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel
This came to me by recommendation when I put out an all- call to my Facebook world to send me suggestions for an easy, lighthearted read. The novel spans across decades moving back and forth in time and through the lens of several different characters to tell the story of life after a world-wide flu epidemic causes the collapse of civilization. Ah, yes, another dystopian novel under my belt. And, as with Hunger Games and Divergent, I was drawn to the main female character, Kirsten. When the story was told through her lens, I immediately became more engaged wanting to know more about how she came to survive the flu and life thereafter. While she wasn’t a Katniss or Tris, I admired her knack for survival and defying gender norms and roles in this dystopian world. Moreover, the character of Kirsten moved me into self-reflection and contemplation of my own abilities, determination, and self-reliance.
Recommend it? Yup! Unless you’re already have disconcerting thoughts about the end of the world. The fact that the entire world completely collapsed within days due to a flu virus was unsettling. I also became sick two days after finishing the novel, disappointing myself that I would indeed never be part of the 1% of society to survive and rebuild a new world.

The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
My mom was reading this book while I was reading Judy’s novel. She couldn’t stop raving about it so I picked up my own copy from the library. While I liked the overall story, with its White Savior Complex leanings, I’m going to have to put The Invention of Wings in the same category as The Help. I absolutely enjoyed learning more about Sarah and Angelina Grimke and their work on behalf of the abolition of slavery and the advancement of women’s rights, I didn’t like how Kidd used the Grimke’s family slaves, namely, Handful and Charlotte, to drive the plot and develop the character of Sarah. Unlike The Help, Kidd dives much more into the complexities of race, racism, and the guilt surrounding white privilege, but I was still left with an overall feeling of icky-ness in which white women are given voice and purpose on the backs of women of color.
Recommend it? Eh, maybe, but probably not.

The Notorious RGB by Irin Carmon & Shana Knizhnik
Loved it! I’m going to law school and clerking for RGB as soon as possible. I adore Ruth! This is a quick read on the life of Ruth Bader Ginsburg through a feminist lens. The authors also spend a good amount of time giving a feminist (and accessible) context to important Supreme Court cases dealing with gender equity to help share the personal and professional progression of Ginsburg’s life. I loved learning the little nuances of RGB’s life to include her being a night owl, the meaning behind those fancy collars, and her current workout routine. Moreover, I appreciated the ways in which Gingburg’s dedication to building bridges and relationships across differences (i.e. her friendship with Justice Scalia) spoke truth to the ways in which I can (and must) do a better job cultivating relationships with both my allies and adversaries. Bonus – Marty and Ruth’s relationship is a gem and gave me all the feels.
Recommend it? Heck yes. “You can’t spell truth without Ruth.” Also for more on how Notorious RGB came to be, check out the tumblr page.

I Am Malala by Malala Yuzafzai with Patricia McCormick
This books has been on my reading list for quite a while. Through NPR, I somewhat followed the story of Malala after she was shot by the Taliban in 2012. Malala’s story is so powerful because she was (IS) so young. Yet, it wasn’t until I read about her experience in her own words, that it really truly sunk in how young she was when she decided to take on the Taliban and fight for girls’ and women’s rights. She was 11 when she first started speaking publicly! Eleven! As I was reading, I kept thinking, how lucky is the world that we’ll hopefully have Malala in it for years and years to come. She’s only just begun (and I need to get my butt in gear)! And, much like The Notorious RGB gave me context to political landscapes, I loved not only learning more about Malala, but also gaining a better understanding of the political and cultural climate of Pakistan surrounding her story.
Recommend it? Absolutely. The library gave me the “young readers edition” so I’m wondering how different it is from the “adult” text. I found it to be an elementary read but inspiring nonetheless. If you’re looking for some hope in the world or simply some personal motivation, this is the book for you.

Have you read any of these books? What are your thoughts? Though snow is in the forecast this weekend, I’m already looking forward to my spring break reading splurge – what recommendations do you have for me?

A blog reflection written by Women’s Center Staff Member Daniel Willey

I recommend Unruly Bodies (GWST 345, taught by Dr. Kate) to anybody who asks. And to people who didn’t ask. But, whatever okay y’all it’s a good class! I took it two whole semesters ago and I still think about it every day. I’ve been thinking about it even more lately as I ponder the question: am I disabled? I’m 20 years old and I’ve never asked myself this question before. Nobody told me I was disabled, so I just figured I wasn’t. But as I read about disability studies in Unruly Bodies, I came to understand myself as I operate in society very differently.

In a really awesome video in which gender theorist Judith Butler takes a walk with disability activist Sunaura Taylor (link tw: some of Sunaura’s art contains nudity and images of caged and/or dead animals), they talk about what disabled means. Sunaura Taylor has congenital arthrogryposis and uses an electric wheelchair (she’s also a theorist, artist, abolitionist vegan, and disability activist). In the video, Taylor and Butler see an abandoned shoe and Taylor wonders if that person can walk without it. Butler says in response,

“I’m just thinking that no one takes a walk without there being a technique of walking.  Nobody goes for a walk without there being something that supports that walk outside of ourselves.  Maybe we have a false idea that the able bodied person is somehow radically self sufficient.”

Wow, okay. So to break it down, what Butler and Taylor are saying is that people have their own ways of moving and doing but that some ways of moving and doing are more normal than others. Our world is built for people who can walk, or walk frequently and easily, and aids like shoes work quite well in this world. Sunaura points out that there is a difference between “disability” and “impairment.” She says her arthrogyposis and how it affects her ability to walk is an impairment, but that the disability comes from the fact that the world is not built for someone like her whose way of moving and doing is NOT walking, but on wheels.

But what does this have to do with you, Dan??

I’m getting there, I promise.

Let’s talk about desks. you know the ones. If you’ve ever had class in Sondheim Hall you know what I’m talking about.

Last year I started having trouble with my back. I have two semi-herniated discs in my lower back which cause me significant pain throughout my day. I have difficulty sitting for more than 20 minutes at a time, but I do it because I’m a student and that’s what we do. But sitting, especially in these desks, all day cause me pain and make it difficult to do my work. I would like to stand at a standing desk in the back of the classroom, but I’ve never had the courage to do it because I feel embarrassed– embarrassed for not being able to fit into the classroom norm and because it doesn’t feel like a “good enough” reason for a special accommodation.

This is really what I’m trying to get at: the combination of body/social norms and stigmatization of disability and accommodations affects my ability to learn and do well in school. I and my fellow fat students run into a similar situation with these specific desks because they’re way too small. The classroom is literally not built for fat students or students with disabilities, and it affects our ability to learn and participate.

There are systems set in place to accommodate students. Student Support Services at UMBC can help you get what you need and they help make it possible for more students to access education. You generally need medical documentation in order to get support from SSS, but that can be difficult if you’re unable to afford an evaluation for a learning disability (which are rarely covered by insurance and can cost over a thousand dollars) or access to healthcare in general.

If you have an invisible illness like Crohn’s Disease or Fibromyalgia it can be difficult to gain access to these services because you might not “look” like you have a disability. Even when you have specific documentation from the institution, individuals within that institution don’t always have the same attitudes towards you and how they see (or don’t see) your disability. This is especially true for women with chronic or invisible disabilities because of the way we think of women’s bodies and how we don’t take women’s health needs seriously.

I’m not just talking about UMBC here people! This is a problem everywhere.

Which brings me back to my question: am I disabled? Am I hesitant to use the term because of what I have learned “disabled” looks like? Is it because I don’t have any official diagnoses that label me as disabled?

As a white, middle class dude with good insurance, I definitely have not experienced the same types of oppression and stigmatization that many disabled people face. In 2013, 28.2% of disabled Americans lived below the poverty line. Over 40% of homeless adults are disabled in comparison to 17.7% of the general population. Being a disabled woman comes with a whole set of different challenges. According to WCSAP, disabled women are disproportionately at risk for abuse and sexual violence. 37.3% of disabled women experience domestic violence compared to 20.6% of non-disabled women. 83% of disabled women will experience sexual assault in their lifetime.

I’m not saying anyone is less disabled because of other privileges. I just mean that in my specific circumstances, I hesitate to include myself in a group that experiences oppression and marginalization because my other identities allow me to navigate “disability” differently.

In the end, I still don’t know the answer. Oh well.

There is so much I could write about this. I haven’t even touched on being a college student with learning disabilities and mental illnesses. Luckily for you all, there are lots of people who have written about all of these things and more already! The fields of Disability Studies and Disability Activism are rich and growing. There’s so much to learn! Check out this really cool disabled blogger’s videos to get you started! There are also some really cool disabled women doing really cool things! Sunaura Taylor and Erin (blogger linked to above) are not the only disabled women you should know. Maysoon Zayid is an Arab-American comedian, actress, and writer who did this great TED Talk about being a funny woman with cerebral palsy.

Remember, when you’re learning more about disability and disability studies:

1. Google it first. Disabled people on the internet are not info banks for you to tap into.
2. Don’t ask personal or unsolicited questions about a person and their disability. Some people are excited to share their knowledge and experiences with you. Some people are tired and just trying to live their lives.
3. Do self-work. Don’t be afraid to learn something. Apply what you learn to your everyday life.

First, let’s start off with saying that the Women’s Center is stoked about Hannibal Buress making his way to campus this weekend for Homecoming. We very much enjoy his character, Lincoln, on Broad City. More importantly, he called out the rape allegations against Bill Cosby in his stand-up routine back when very few others were because it was “too hard” and “unbelievable” to simply just believe and support the victims coming forward.

But, we’d be remiss if we didn’t share something we’ve noticed when it comes to comedians coming to campus for the annual Homecoming event. They’re all dudes! Nick Offerman. B.J. Novak. Bo Burnham. Donald Glover. Lewis Black. And now, Hannibal.

Now, this just isn’t a UMBC thing. It’s kind of just a thing we call sexism. For example, check out the hosts of late night television:

From Vanity Fair’s October 2015 issue on late-night television.

Then there’s this catalog that was delivered in the mail the other day that shared all the great comedians colleges can book and bring to campus:

Really?! Just four women out of 24 on this list of options?

So, with that in mind, some of the Women’s Center staff has compiled this short round-up of some of our favorite women comedians. In their own words, staff members write about why these women are funny (too).

Tig Notaro – Kayla’s Pick

Tig’s comedy varies from silly, heartfelt, personal, to goofy. She’s made me cry from laughing and actually just made me cry. She’s got a joke where she just moves a stool around the stage for awhile and it might not sound like it but its HILARIOUS.
What you should know: Tig went through C-DIFF (an intestinal infection that can kill people), her mother’s death, a huge breakup, and then got breast cancer. ALL IN ONE YEAR. She is literally one of the strongest people in the world and is definitely one of my heroes (“sheroe” is definitely more apt). Oh and she’s a lesbian which is always a fun and awesome thing to know.
Fun Fact: Tig briefly performed topless in her 2015 HBO special Boyish Girl Interrupted to show her doubles mastectomy scars.

Mindy Kaling – Julia’s Pick

Mindy Kaling is probably my favorite comedian right now. She started acting and eventually became a writer for The Office, and now she has her own show: “The Mindy Project.” It’s clever, hilarious, and heartfelt. Something interesting about her is that she recognizes her responsibility to young women for representation, but she also points out that she often talks about diversity and representations while other white male writers actually get to talk about their shows. She says:

“There are little Indian girls out there who look up to me, and I never want to belittle the honor of being an inspiration to them. But while I’m talking about why I’m so different, white male show runners get to talk about their art.”

Maya Rudolph – Meagé’s Pick 

My favorite comedian is Maya Rudolph. She is best known for her time on Saturday Night Live and Bridesmaids. More recently, she has done hilarious impressions of Rachel Dolezal. For a short time she has a self-titled show where she often brought other women of color on to promote solidarity and visibility of women of color in the media.

Janeane Garofalo – Carrie’s Pick

In 1990 there was this funny sketch comedy show on MTV called The Ben Stiller Show.  It is where I first met Janeane Garofalo and fell in love.  She has this amazingly dry sense of humor which I totally latched on to.  After her stint on MTV, she was popping up in movies, usually playing the best friend.  This is what happens to comediennes and actresses who are not considered conventionally attractive by Hollywood standards.  Still, I was lucky enough to make her a coffee one day while I was working at Starbucks and she was in town doing a show and it took all I had not to gush and profess my love for all that she is.  Not only was she kind and funny during our brief interaction, but she was also polite.  A staunch feminist, politically active, this smart woman gets my vote. Now I think I am going to curl up on the couch and watch Reality Bites.

Sasheer Zamata and Leslie Jones – MJ’s Pick 

Both of these women are currently on Saturday Night Live (SNL). I believe this is the first time in 40 years that SNL has had two black women on the show at the same time!!! (Seriously, SNL!?!?) But they are incredibly funny, while tackling racial stereotypes in their skits. They’re amazing!

Leslie Jones

Sasheer Zamata

Elahe Izadi – Jess’ Pick

So, I totally had Leslie Knope as my top pick until last night when I went to Creative Alliance to see W. Kamau Bell perform. Elahe opened up the show for him and she was hilarious! She was wonderfully pro-woman and feminist with each and every joke to the point that after every punch line my friends would literally punch me and say “You’re loving this aren’t you?! You love her don’t you?!” I did a little research on her when I got home and this DC-based comedian also writes for The Washington Post, covered Congress for National Journal, and speaks Spanish and Farsi. Funny AND smart! While Leslie will always and forever have my heart (and yes, I know Lesile isn’t a real person), I wanted to give Elahe a shout-out considering she’s right down the road making her shows and jokes very accessible to the UMBC community.

Not an exhaustive list by any means! Who are the funny women you would add to the list? 

Go Dawgs! Stop by the Women’s Center during Homecoming week to check out all the funny women cheering on the home team!

UMBC Women Who Rock is a blog series I’ve been writing since last year and it has become one of my favorite things to think and write about for the Women’s Center blog. In my role as Women’s Center director, I have some of the best opportunities to become acquainted with some of UMBC’s best and brightest women on campus. I admire the ways they live authentic lives unapologetically that challenge the stereotypes and assumptions that are often assigned to women. By debunking these stereotypes and forcing us to check our assumptions, they allow us to expand our notion of what a woman is and can be.

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UMBC Women Who Rock!
The Staff of Color Network Co-Chairs

“In my mind, I see a line. And over that line, I see green fields and lovely flowers and beautiful, white women with their arms stretched out to me over that line, but I can’t seem to get there no how. I can’t seem to get over that line.”
That was Harriet Tubman in the 1800s. And let me tell you something, the only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity.”
– Viola Davis, Emmy Award Speech on September 20, 2015

The Staff of Color Network co-chairs =Women who ROCK!
L-R: Lisa Gray, Donna-Lee Mahabeer. Mickey Irizarry, & Alexis Melville

What a powerful counternarrative. How unapologetic and courageous. As I’ve watched Viola Davis’ acceptance speech several times this week and seen the gif-ed articles on all the ways Black women were each other’s biggest fans at the Emmy’s, the women behind of the Staff of Color Network (SCN) at UMBC keep coming to my mind. Donna-Lee, Lisa, Mickey, and Alexis are women of color on campus who are challenging that line and finding ways to create opportunities for themselves and others on campus as people of color. While Davis calls for more roles to be written for Women of Color in Hollywood, these UMBC women are creating safe and validating spaces for themselves and other people of color on campus. They’re asking important questions about lack of visibility, calling out (and in) racial microaggressions, and being each other’s allies and advocates. This has taken raw courage and bravery as they challenge the institutional and systemic white narrative and experience. Indeed, they are UMBC Women Who Rock.

In this UMBC Women Who Rock post, I veer from the reflective narrative I tend to write in and opted for a Q&A format instead. I hope to feature all of these badass women in their own UMBC Women Who Rock post one day, so stay tuned!

What is the Staff of Color Network (SCN)?

Donna-Lee: “The Staff of Color Network is a group for staff and graduate assistants that self-identify as persons of color within the Division of Student Affairs. It is our goal to uplift, support and cultivate the staff of color community through the efforts of our network.”

Why was SCN created? What is the networks goals? Can you share a little bit more of the creation story?

Donna-Lee, The Commons Program & Services Coordinator, tells her story during the Women’s Center’s Telling Our Stories Project.

Donna-Lee: “SCN was created because there was a need not being met on campus. UMBC not only has less representation when it comes to staff of color, but it the perception of many that we seem to do a poor job recruiting and retaining staff of color. The culture among the persons of color I interacted with came across as discontented, stifled and invisible. In creating the Staff of Color Network, our goal is to alleviate those feelings of inadequacy. We are to be more than visible. We are to be seen wholly in our racial identities and acknowledged as such. My goal for SCN is to create a feeling of community among professionals of color at UMBC so that no one feels alone and ostracized when they show up as their authentic selves on campus. In building this community, people hopefully will feel a greater sense of safety and belonging, which in turn hopefully leads to retention and recruitment for both faculty and staff of color.”

How did each of you decide to be in (or get called into) a leadership role for SCN?

Mickey: “… A couple of years ago I was a part of the Division’s Brave Spaces group – we were a mixed group of Student Affairs staff that met once a month and talked about race, privilege, and inequalities. And, even though I enjoyed my time in the group and learned a lot, I still felt like there was something missing – a safe space where persons of color could talk freely among each other and not feel judged, or a space where we would be able to share stories find commonalities between one another in many areas of life – personal and professional. I spoke with Donna-Lee about the Brave Spaces group and she told me about how at some other universities they have coalitions and university-wide and university-recognized groups for staff and/or faculty of color and that it would be really great to have one at UMBC too. From there the formation of the SCN began and I’m so happy to see the energy, support and acceptance behind it so far.”

Alexis: “I feel that it is important to have spaces where staff of color can be free to self-express when triggered at work. I was fortunate to find Donna-Lee, Mickey, and Lisa as well as people in my own department who I would go to so that I could process certain feelings and perceptions that I may have. As my tenure at UMBC continued, I noticed that not a lot of staff of color had that opportunity or safe space to process. Given the importance self-expression and self-care and how tied it is to mental health and work performance, I felt that partnering with other individuals to help provide a space where people can feel supported is paramount to a healthy work environment.”

The UMBC Women Who Rock series aims to tell the stories of women on campus living their authentic lives apologetically. What ways do you feel you live an authentic life at UMBC? What do you need from the UMBC community to more readily live an authentic life as a Woman of Color at UMBC?

Lisa: “I live an authentic life at UMBC in several ways that include showing up with the intention of supporting others and letting other people see the different sides of myself. I’m a mom, single but partnered. I love salsa dancing. It’s important for me to share my off-campus life with others while I’m on campus. With that being said, what I need to live an even more authentic life as a woman of color at UMBC is more visible signs that we matter. I want to see more work of women of color highlighted so we don’t feel as invisible to ourselves and others. I would also like to see an expanded narrative of who women of color are – we are not just Black women. We need to open up and move beyond a black and white dichotomy.”

Mickey, UHS’s  Assistant Director of Health Education, shares her I’m Not as part of the Telling Our Stories Project

Mickey: “…Life is stressful enough as it is to constantly be thinking about how I should act today or what image I should project for a specific group/location. I live my authentic self by valuing keeping an open mind in all situations and standing up/speaking out for what I believe in. But I also make sure to be aware of checking my privileges as a multi-ethnic, passing woman with the educational and professional background that I have, and to understand that not everyone has the ability to be able to live authentically all of the time, which is extremely disheartening to me and something that I hope will shift in the future.”

The UMBC Women Who Rock series also addresses stereotypes and assumptions that are often assigned to women. What role do you see SCN playing at UMBC in debunking stereotypes about Women of Color or encouraging white community members to check their assumptions?

Mickey: “I hope that as a result of SCN, the campus will more readily recognize women of color as leaders on our campus and that they keep that in mind when they are thinking about hiring, promoting or re-classing staff and faculty. I would like UMBC to be much more intentional about getting our staff to reflect the diversity in our student body so that we can truly say UMBC is a diverse school without being misleading.”

Donna-Lee: “SCN has already charged ahead in taking the initiative to meet with those in positional power at UMBC in order to provide them with an understanding of what our cause is about and how they can help. SCN is working to eliminate the preconceived notion of the “angry” person of color. We are simply looking for equity and equality and we plan on doing it in a direct way as opposed to taking a more passive direction.”

How do you practice self-care?

Alexis: “I practice self-care through watching movies, mediation, and spending time with friends. I find spaces where I can be my authentic self which includes spaces where I can be a mix of peaceful, goofy, and intellectual all at the same time. I think self-care is integral in how I keep myself grounded.”

Lisa, Assistant Director of Student Life, Cultural and Spiritual Diversity, let’s campus know who she isn’t in the Telling Our Stories project.

Lisa: “Four things I do to practice self-care. Deep breathing. Doing something I love that has nothing to do with work (dancing!). Prayer and silent reflection. Venting with people I love and who love me.”

Any words of wisdom you’d like to share to other Women of Color on campus?

Alexis: “Find spaces where you can express yourself fully. The media, society, friend, family, etc. have a way of trying to dictate who women of color ought to be, how we should look, and how we should act. There are times in which we might get caught up in their views of us and we forget to define ourselves for ourselves. Be sure to take time out of your many roles, demands, and pressures to find your authentic voice. To echo the great Audre Lourde:

“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”

Mickey: “Don’t be afraid to meet new people and find allies/advocates. Building a support system of people you can talk to openly and trust on campus is so important.”

Lisa: “No title or accomplishment is worth losing yourself for or being asked to be someone you’re not.”

Donna-Lee: “Please don’t ever feel like you have to apologize for who you are and how you show up. Be willing to educate, but also be more than willing to advocate if not for yourself, then for those who will surely come after you.”

Who are the UMBC women in your life that inspire you to think outside your expectations and assumptions? What are the counter narrative stories they’re sharing with us allowing UMBC and our greater community to be more of exactly who we want to be? Comment below and maybe you’ll just find them featured in a future UMBC Women Who Rock post.

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• For more information on the Staff of Color Network, contact anyone of these fabulous co-chairs via their UMBC email address.
• To celebrate and support the achievements and ambitions of women of color in the UMBC community, join the Women’s of Color Coalition’s 3rd Annual Women of Color Reception on Tuesday, September 29th from 5-7pm.
• To learn more about the Women’s Center and Women of Color Coalition’s Telling Our Stories project, visit our website.

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Check out other UMBC Women Who Rock:

Amanda Knapp (featured August 2014)
Susan Dumont (featured October 2014)
Jahia Knobloch (featured January 2015)
A Reflection on Encouragement and Accountability (February 2015)
Amelia Meman (March 2015)
Ashley Sweet (May 2015)
Rehana Shafi (August 2015)

Get to know the Women’s Center’s new team of staff and interns!

Women’s Center Staff 2015-16

Meagé Clements (she/her)
Hi! My name is Meagé, and I am a new staff member in the Women’s Center. I am currently a senior studying Psychology and Social Work, as well as a member of UMBC’s Honors College. I am a social work intern at Delrey School, where I will be working with children and adolescents with cerebral palsy, among other physical and intellectual disabilities. After college, I hope to earn my MSW and find a career where I can help marginalized and oppressed people thrive in our society. In addition to being a staff member in UMBC’s Women’s Center, I am a member of Zeta Sigma Chi Multicultural Sorority Inc. In my spare time, I enjoy yoga, reading, listening to music and creative writing. This semester, I am excited to learn and become more involved in the efforts of the Women’s Center. If you happen to see me in the Women’s Center or around campus, feel free to say hello! I am looking forward to meeting new people and engaging in some thoughtful dialogues!

Carrie Cleveland (she/her)
My name is Carrie. I am BEYOND excited to be starting my last year at UMBC. I will graduate in May with a degree in social work after being in college for ten years. Yep. That is NOT a typo. Ten FREAKING years. See, I have three daughters and they keep me incredibly busy and because of that I decided that part time was the way to be. I think we will all be doing a happy dance when I graduate.

Beyond that, I am involved with the BreakingGround initiative on campus as a member of the Community Program Grant Committee. I also am a member of the Leadership Advisory Committee. I am also super proud to be a Return Women’s Scholar. It was my membership in that group that first brought me to the Women’s Center and that has been such a source of support for me as I took the long and windy road to graduation. Other that that, I am a wife, a friend, a chick from New Jersey, a lover off all things pop culture and a huge fan of They Might Be Giants.

Julia Gottlieb (she/her)
Hey there! I’m Julia, and I’m a new student staff member at the Women’s Center. I’m interning with the Women’s Center through the GWST Department, and I couldn’t be more excited to dive in. I realized that I wanted to pursue Gender & Women’s Studies as a major three years ago after overhearing a conversation in which two people victim-blamed and shamed women for choosing to get abortions. Looking back, I felt so angry and defensive of women, which made me realize that this was an issue I cared deeply about and needed to investigate further. The Women’s Center is the perfect way to translate my passion for feminism and social justice into a tangible job that challenges me to think critically and to push myself–all while in pursuit of greater social and political change through activism.

I’m a senior majoring in Gender & Women’s Studies and minoring in Critical Sexuality Studies. I’m also a co-leader for Women Involved in Learning and Leadership (WILL) and I’m pumped for the new semester! Singing and listening to music are by far my favorite things to do; I took piano lessons for ten years and have been singing all my life. My favorite artists currently are Lianne la Havas and Alabama Shakes. If you see me feel free to say hello (and tell me what music you’re into)!

MJ Jalloh-Jamboria (they/them)
Hey! I’m MJ Jalloh-Jamboria.  I am currently a Gender/Women Studies and Interdisciplinary Studies (Pathology) double major. My minor is Critical Sexuality. This is my second year at UMBC and my first year as a student stuff member here at the Women’s Center. In addition to that, I am the Director of Events of the Council of Majors/Minors. Finally, I am the Music Director of UMBC’s newest a Capella group, the Culture Chords. I know it may sound like a lot but I enjoy staying busy and contributing to the UMBC community!

My favorite thing to do, besides singing and eating, is to look at how my identities come into play as I interact with the world around me. As a fat, non-binary, first generation West African Immigrant, Muslim person, I have a lot to think about!

Hi! My name is Kayla Smith. I’m a pre-law junior majoring in Interdisciplinary Studies focusing in health education. I’m a third semester peer health educator with a special interest in sexual health and I’m Vice President of the Mock-Trial team wherein I act as both an attorney and a witness. I’m really bad at introductory type things (even in the age of online dating, Facebook, and sure lets say Myspace). The words “About me” or “tell us about yourself!” have always been really intimidating, so I’m going to take a page out of past Women’s Center staff member, Amelia Meman’s book, and adopt the bullet point system.

• I identify as Queer (Ask what I mean by that!). I’m West Indian.
• My top five favorite things are: Glitter, wind chimes, fairy lights, bubbles, and miniature things (especially miniature food.)
• My favorite music genre is instrumental progressive metal.
• I speak french fluently (and I need someone to speak french with!)
• My favorite show is Criminal Minds (Spencer Reid is my boyfriend.)
• I have a rabbit names Lazarus (No he has never died)

Daniel Willey (he/him) 
Hey everyone! My name is Dan and I am a junior GWST major. I joined the Women’s Center staff last year and I am so excited to be back again as the senior staff member. You’ll see me around a lot because I never actually leave the Center. I am the peer facilitator for Spectrum and Rebuilding Manhood, and I’m very involved with the LGBTQIA+ community here. I love answering questions! If you want to have a discussion about or have questions about gender, sexuality, sexual health, polyamory, fiber crafts, cats, or Steven Universe, I’m your guy! I live by the idea that everyone has the capacity for good and every interaction can be a learning moment. Being at the Women’s Center feels like not only a home away from home, but the place where I have learned how to be the best version of me. I really hope the Center can be these things for everyone, and I do my best to facilitate that here. If you need anything, please ask! I’m very excited to meet you all.

Megan Tagle Adams, Coordinator (she/her)
I’m an unapologetic feminist and woman of color. I’m not your model minority. I’m an introvert. I’m not always angry. I’m Team Nicki. I’m a cat lady. I’m a queer femme. I’m not ashamed of my love of boy bands. I’m an advocate for critical social justice. I’m a picky eater. I’m not a fan of Maryland’s humidity. I’m looking forward to another great year at the Women’s Center! 

Jess Myers, Director (she/her)
Wow-wee, where do I begin?! Today I logged into my LinkedIn account because I got an alert that someone was looking at my profile… who was checking me out?! I had to know. Long story short, I found myself skimming through my profile and was alerted to the fact that I have been Director of the Women’s Center at UMBC for 4 years and 6 months. How lucky am I?! I have learned and grown as a professional, as a feminist, and as a person so much since I first arrived here at UMBC. I have gotten to work with some of UMBC’s brightest and most courageous students. I’ve learned how to insert gifs into emails and how to tweet on the Twitter. I’ve been challenged and held accountable to expand my notions of feminism beyond “white feminism” and to boldly live out my social justice values in a critical way. Moreover, I get to work in a place where I am authentically me.

I love being silly. I relish in the opportunity to use Leslie Knope gifs as a mode of communication. I identify as a queer lesbian and deserve medals for my fierceness in spin class. I approach my work from my collegiate background in social work and identify as a student affairs professional. I’ve lived in Washington, D.C., Kingston, Jamaica, and Fort Collins, Colorado but Baltimore is my hometown. It is a city that forever is rooted in my heart and very being. I also really love my introduction from last year and want to share it again (I’m a big fan of also not recreating the wheel!). You’ll find me on here most often blogging through my UMBC Women Who Rocks series and other Women’s Center confessions I like to make public. Basically and most importantly, I love my job… I’m looking forward to a year full of challenges, successes, and learning opportunities!

UMBC Women Who Rock is a blog series I’m working on throughout the 2014-15 academic year (and now perhaps beyond). In my role as Women’s Center director, I have some of the best opportunities to become acquainted with some of UMBC’s best and brightest women on campus. I admire the ways they live authentic lives unapologetically that challenge the stereotypes and assumptions that are often assigned to women. By debunking these stereotypes and forcing us to check our assumptions, they allow us to expand our notion of what a woman is and can be.

-Jess

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UMBC Women Who Rock!
Rehana Shafi, Director of the Sherman STEM Teacher Scholars Program

In the few UMBC Women Who Rock blog posts I’ve written over the past year, I end with the same paragraph every time. I ask my readers about which UMBC women inspire them and how the counter narratives they’re sharing with us allow UMBC and our greater community to be more of exactly who we want to be. I absolutely love the power of counternarratives and their ability to expose assumptions and reveal complexities and depth. And, while it’s so important to emphasize the counternarratives, after connecting with Rehana Shafi earlier this summer, I was reminded of the importance of also simply knowing the narrative of someone’s life.

Rehana speaking at the dedication of the naming of Sherman Hall.

Rehana and I are both a part of the Undergraduate Academic Affairs (UAA) Division and for the past four years have shared time together at leadership team meetings. During these meetings, I have looked to Rehana as a role model as I design my own concept of women’s leadership. I appreciate the time I have to sit with her around the UAA leadership table. She asks important questions, provides important context to discussions, inserts moments of humor and light-heartedness, and exemplifies confidence. I have learned a great deal from Rehana by simply being at the same table with her. And, despite having spent this time with Rehana, I recently was reflecting on the fact that I knew very little about her and who she is. This realization inspired me to set up a time to meet with her under the guise of a UMBC Women Who Rocks interview.

So, I asked her “Who are you?”

But, let me take a step back. This actually wasn’t the first question I asked her. 

Rehana with the graduating class of 2013 Sherman Scholars.

First, I asked her about her role as the director of the Sherman’s Scholars Program and what journey did she take to get there. She shared her journey starting out an exercise science major in college, which led her to a brief stint working as personal trainer. Through this experience she learned that she really liked educating people, which led her to the experience of teaching ESL to middle school students, which eventually led her to working in the Choice Program in an alternative school in East Baltimore County. Of course, the Choice Program led her to the Shriver Center at UMBC and she worked there for several years coordinating service-learning and K-12 outreach. Finally, she found the perfect opportunity in the Sherman STEM Teacher Scholars Program to apply everything she loved and was important to her about education, and she’s been working as the director ever since. We also talked about what it looks like for her to be a woman of color in a leadership position and the responsibility she feels to reach and support the few others on campus who look like her.

While this is a very condensed version of our conversation and her journey, through the simple act of storytelling, I realized how much Rehana and I had in common. We no longer just worked in the same division at UMBC but also had these neat little connections. We both have social work in our background and found our way into higher education as a way to find balance in self-care and still wanting to make a difference. We’ve both experienced first-hand the inequities of education and the ways in which children are pushed through systems. We both see ourselves as educators and that doesn’t have to include being in the classroom. We also both feel constrained by 5 and 10-year plans and would rather just be open to the possibilities.

When there was a pause in the conversation, I took a step back and looked at the questions I had prepared related to why she as a UMBC woman indeed rocks. I had scribbled down a note that asked “life outside of UMBC?” and that’s when I asked the big question, “Who are you… Who is Rehana outside of UMBC?”

Up until this point, I had been jotting facts down and was heading onto a third page to ensure an accurate portrayal of this UMBC Women Who Rocks. But, this is where the note taking took a pause and I just listened. As she attempted to answer this question, Rehana vulnerably explained to me, “I’m still searching for what that is.” In this part of our conversation she shared the deep impact the passing of loved ones has had on her recent journey. She spoke to the time she spent needing and wanting to take care of others around her but how that also impacted her ability to practice self-care. She’s beginning to figure out what self-care looks like for her and what that means to who she is. It includes eating well and exercising and maybe learning to swim or pick up sewing again. It includes what’s around her and not letting life happen while she isn’t watching. Through this simple question, I learned more about who Rehana really is and wants to be – and it’s way more than what exists on her resume or within her job title. It made me think about how often leadership and excellence is defined by doing, but the real challenge is really in the being.

This has me thinking a lot about a recent post another Women’s Center staff member wrote in the aftermath of the Baltimore Uprisings. She began her post with the question, “How are you?” and reflected on the deep importance this simple question holds in providing critical care to others. After my conversation with Rehana, I believe the similar meaning can be given to the question, “Who are you?” Asking the questions of “Who are you?” and “How are you?” is integral to practicing feminist leadership. I’m grateful for the time Rehana and I carved out during our busy days for her to share her story of not just doing but being. As I head into what I’m sure will be another busy fall semester, this experience has encouraged me to challenge myself to take the time to ask that short and immensely powerful question – “Who are you?”

Rehana with the Shermans and Dr. Hrabowski at the Sherman Hall dedication ceremony.

Who are the UMBC women in your life that inspire you to think outside your expectations and assumptions? What are the counter narrative stories they’re sharing with us allowing UMBC and our greater community to be more of exactly who we want to be? Comment below and maybe you’ll just find them featured in a future UMBC Women Who Rock post.

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Check out other UMBC Women Who Rock:

Amanda Knapp (featured August 2014)
Susan Dumont (featured October 2014)
Jahia Knobloch (featured January 2015)
A Reflection on Encouragement and Accountability (February 2015)
Amelia Meman (March 2015)
Ashley Sweet (May 2015)