A reflection written by Women’s Center Special Projects Coordinator, Amelia Meman

So here we are. Another day in this brave new world.

Are you exhausted yet? Emotionally, physically, psychologically?

If you’re not–congratulations! That’s really good and you are a sweet glowing angel.

If you are, though, you’re not alone and you are also a sweet glowing angel.

I’m tired, too. For all of us feminists, social justice warriors, and snowflakes, this is a tough time. The stream of executive actions and questionable cabinet appointments have rocked our communities and have malignantly affected some of the most vulnerable groups in the U.S. The fights we’ve been engaging in throughout every administration have been exacerbated and fear is alive more than ever. 

Seeing the reaction from social justice activists has been heartening for me in many ways. The women’s march was awesome and huge (though not without its fair share of criticism from Black women, the trans community, and many others). Other demonstrations against the refugee ban and the massive uptick in people contacting their elected representatives to demand accountability has shown us that massive swathes of the public have been activated to resist in a great variety of ways.

This work is both vital and neverending. Making an impact is difficult, exhausting work. It involves massive amounts of human energy. What I’m ultimately getting to is this: are you taking care of yourself right now? 

The Women’s Center is all about self-care, and I want to stress (get it?) how necessary it is to take care of ourselves as activists. Energy doesn’t come to us out of nowhere. It is derived from resting and caring for ourselves.

As you continue your activist work, here are some things to think about:

Give yourself enough credit

During this chaotic time, it’s hard to think that we can ever do enough to even make a dent in the system, but you’re so much more powerful than you think. Marches, rallies, and demonstrations are powerful events that increase the visibility of resistance. Regardless of the presidential administration, communicating with legislators is an important part of holding the government accountable to the people. Going to different forums and meetings is a great way to connect with others and get tasks completed. These are some of the actions a lot of people might associate with activism, but there are many other ways to be an activist.

If you are reading a book on social justice, politics, racial justice, feminism, queer theory, etc. you are participating in activism, because you’re learning and informing your activism praxis. If you talk with your friends about politics and learn from one another, that’s a way of participating in activism, because you are creating a transformative moment. If you’re in a class that is helping you talk to others, build things, write, manage money, research, provide medical care, whatever, you are learning skills that are so necessary for activists. 

Finally, taking care of yourself is important. It is paramount to being able to do anything ever. So give yourself credit for what you’re doing, whether it’s leading a march or knowing when you need a break.

Make a plan (for activism and for recuperation)

Whatever you’re doing, try to make a plan. When you tell yourself you’re only going to attend the rally for three hours, only attend the rally for three hours. Activism work can be all-consuming. It’s hard to do, and the work is always there, so it can be easy to fall into the rabbit hole. When you do activist type things, try to be informed about the event/activity (i.e. if you’re attending a march, try to have a buddy and/or know some emergency phone numbers) and also make sure to create a plan for recuperation afterwards (i.e. after you go to the march, take a relaxing bath or meditate by yourself). When you make a plan (and keep to the plan), you manage your time and help sustain yourself.

Be authentic to who you are and listen to yourself

Hey, if you don’t like going to big public protests, don’t go. If you dread the thought of being alone and reading a big political theory tome, don’t do it! There are always alternatives for activism. Reflect on what you like to do, what resonates with you, what gives you life, and then think about how that can be of use in the activist environment. Don’t go about forcing yourself to be something that you aren’t, because who you are is exactly what we need.

And if you feel yourself in need of a break from social media or calling legislators, take the break. Listen to yourself. You know you best.

Talk with other activists

Sometimes the best way to take care of yourself is with a little “ventilation and affirmation” session (thanks School of Social Work for that phrase!). Talk with other activists! We need to support each other in this time, and I think many of us are eager to connect. Despite the sometimes overwhelming desire to isolate in the wake of bad news, sometimes reaching out can be just as healing.

Talking with other activists can also introduce you to new ideas, strategies, communities, all kinds of things. So whether it’s for support or to gain insight (or both), reach out and talk with folks.

Challenge yourself

I know I’ve discussed being gentle with yourself, but there’s “being gentle” and then there’s “coddling.” Self-care can oftentimes be misconstrued as an excuse to dip out of activism. Certainly, you shouldn’t force yourself to do something that you’re not interested in, but don’t let self-care be the reason you use to get out of something that might be difficult at first. If it seems challenging, it might be an opportunity for growth.

Something else to think about as you consider challenging yourself in activism comes with understanding your privileged identities. As a cisgender, queer, upper middle class woman of color, I have a lot of things to sort through, but I try to be cognizant of how my actions are working in solidarity, as an ally, or for me and mine to disrupt oppression.

For example, I’m not a big fan of calling people out on offensive Facebook posts; however, I like the idea of being very choosey and calling people in especially when it comes to transgender issues.hen somebody posts something offensive, I reflect on whether or not I definitely respect them and whether I believe they will listen. If I respect them and think they’ll listen, I walk out of my comfort zone to have a difficult conversation. This process is integral to my work as a cis ally.

By challenging ourselves, we are also taking care of ourselves. We are being stewards of our own growth. So, when you feel that sense of discomfort or anxiety you can step back–that’s always valid–or you can choose to challenge yourself and, potentially, find out more about yourself as an activist.

Use your resources

Finally, here are some resources that you might find useful as you get involved in activism (and while many of these guides focus on the here and now and this specific administration, these are good resources to serve throughout times on both the local, state, and national levels. Activists existed before November 8^th and they’ll continue to exists for years and years and years.):

5 Calls | Turn your passive participation into active resistance. Facebook likes and Twitter retweets can’t create the change you want to see. Calling your Government on the phone can. 5 Calls provides phone numbers and scripts so calling is quick and easy and uses your location to find your local representatives so your calls have more impact. (from the site)

26 Ways to Be in the Struggle Beyond the Streets | A list of ways to engage in activism that are all alternatives to being “in the streets.”

Apps for Organizing | A list of apps that help you get engaged in activism.

Indivisible Guide | A resistance guide compiled by former Congressional staffers.

Project 1461 | This project features daily call-to-actions for organizing under the current administration.

Resistance Calendar | A constantly updating calendar of resistance events happening around the world.

Resistance Manual | The Resistance Manual is premised on the idea that, “Action begins with information.” It is an open-source site that collects information for organizing against the current administration’s actions.

And here are some resources for self-care <3:

6 Apps for Taking Care of Yourself 

Free Mindfulness Apps

Self Care in Stress Culture

Radical Self Care

Thanks for reading this blog post and for taking some time for yourself. We’re proud of you over at the Women’s Center, and we’re here when you need support or just want to collect yourself.

P.S. If you know of any more self-care tips for activists or resources that would be useful, please let us know! We would love to hear your ideas and share them with others.

View story at Medium.com

A weekly round-up curated by Women’s Center staff member, Michael Jalloh Jamboria

In the spirit of my friend, who gave us the glorious name ‘Slaying on the Weekly’, every week I will be bringing you some interesting, funny or thought-provoking content from the internet! Be sure to join us next week for more and continue to slay!

Things you should know:

February is Black History Month! Join us in celebrating the lives, activism and labor of African-American and Black activists, scholars and thinkers this month. Need some resources to expand your knowledge of black feminism? Check out Melissa Harris-Perry’s Black Feminism Syllabus and stop by the Women’s Center’s lending library to check out all of our awesome books!

Article of the Week:

Upworthy came out with an amazing guide for new activists. Be sure to check out 5 invaluable tips on how to resist from a first-time activist.

Continue to make time for taking care of yourself. I know that is easier said than done. If you’re struggling with balancing being an activist and the feeling overwhelmed, check out Mashable’s article on what to do when you’re so overwhelmed, you can’t move.

UMBC Happenings:

The Women’s Center is continually dedicated to support throughout this semester and beyond. February is full of events and programs, all of which are geared towards expanding our knowledge and understanding of feminism and social justice. Join us for our first Roundtable discussion, What Now? UMBC Police Meet & Greet and Money 201: Basic Investing Program.

Woman of the Week: 

During Black History Month, Slaying on the Weekly will be featuring inspiring, innovative or groundbreaking black women. This week’s Woman of the Week is Michelle LaVaughn Robinson, aka Michelle Obama. As a lawyer, activist, mother and the coolest First Lady ever, we thought it would be best to have Michelle as our first Woman of the Week. Thanks for being so cool, Mrs. Obama!!

The Women’s Center staff members at staff training over winter break. We’re ready for a great semester!

A sampling of “what’s next” from UMBC community members, curated by Jess Myers, Women’s Center Director 

Last week, I shared some of my hopes and desired outcomes from the Women’s March on Washington. While I was looking forward to marching and being in relationship with other women and people at the march, I was (and am) more invested in the what’s next. In my blog, I wrote, “I want the momentum and energy to continue after the march, especially for those who are new to the movement, new to activism, new to seeing things that are unfair and unjust. I want us to stay loud. To stay critical. To stay visible and demand what is right, what is necessary. I want you to volunteer. I want you to keep learning and growing. I want you to find your activism (if you haven’t already) and make a difference. I want all those things for myself as well. 

On Saturday night and Sunday morning, my entire Facebook timeline was filled with amazing photos of the March (and also really important critiques of the march which you should also take some time to read). What was even more exciting than the photos, was the plans people were committing to in their post-march glow. So many people are fired up!

In my last post, I also reflected on the mission of the Women’s Center and our commitment to advocating for and advancing the rights of women and marginalized people. While the Women’s Center is a space and the people who work in it are committed to putting in the work, YOU, our community, are a huge part of that mission. We need you to help us live and be our mission. So with that in mind, I put a call out to some Women’s Center friends and former staff and asked them to share what their post-plans march are so I could share them as inspiration and motivation to our larger community. What I share below isn’t necessarily the full list each person shared with me but I love the breadth of ideas and action items.

So, I’ll go first…

After the march, I began the divestment process from my bank that financially supports the Dakota Access Pipeline as one way to be in solidarity with the Sioux Tribe and particularly native women (knowing construction of oil pipelines can contribute to an increased risk of sexual assault for Native women). I also am committed to investing more of my time and energy in local politics and activism.

Yoo-Jin Kang, UMBC Class of 2015 & former Women’s Center staff member

“Post-march I’d like to commit to speaking up, leaning into discomfort, and having the tough conversations with people who are willing to engage and listen. I want to commit to intersectionality because my feminism is privileged and one-sided without it. I want to continue to support local calls to action– whether that’s calling local politicians, supporting POC-owned businesses, rallying people in my community, or looking up trainings and materials to help guide my understanding of complex issues.”

Dr. Kate Drabinski, GWST Faculty 

“I’m going to keep doing what I do, where I am, and I commit to continue learning, doing, and acting. Oh, and calling my reps–local, state, and national–over and over again while staying open to new strategies and tactics as they arise.”

Lexx Mills, UMBC Class of 2013 & former Women’s Center staff intern
“I had to call out sick from the march and be there in spirit. I am committing to regularly calling Congress and getting family and friends involved.”

Emily Frias, UMBC Class of 2016
“In my current position I’m already heavily involved in local politics, but going to the march helped me further understand the context of the work I’m doing. While protecting reproductive rights is certainly important, black rights, immigrant rights, trans rights and disabled rights cannot be sacrificed in the name of unity. I felt like I was taking in the state of modern feminism, and seeing exactly how important it is to insist on intersectionality. Going forward, I’ll continue to keep these ideas at heart in the work I do!”

Mariana De Matos Medeiros, UMBC Class of 2016 & former Women’s Center staff intern

“After attending the march I am going to be attending training to become an abortion doula and am hoping to continue to researching and learning more in hopes to have brave conversations with the people in my life.”

Jake Leizear, UMBC Class of 2016
“More dialouging (and learning how to make it a less anxiety-inducing experience), and more lobbying. I want my elected officials to know me and be sick of me.”

Dr. Dawn Biehler, GES Faculty 

Dawn with the Day-Biehler crew – Brigid, Alice, and Nathan.

“I’ve been calling members of Congress, though I don’t know how much they listen to me since I don’t have a Senator or full Congressperson as a DC resident… We have started attending services at a very progressive church, All Souls Unitarian, which has a long history of social justice activism.”

Megan Tagle Adams, Women’s Center Assistant Director

“I’m still figuring out my post-march plans and priorities, but to begin with I’ve started donating money more frequently to important organizations and causes. I plan to learn more about third party politics and ways to get involved locally. I’m also committed to recentering the truth by combating the spread of fake news and challenging the uncritical use of harmful euphemisms like “alt-right.””

What are you plans? What’s next for you?

For more ideas or ways to keep the momentum going:

Women’s March on Washington 10 Actions/100 Days 

Countable – an app that makes it quick and easy to understand the laws Congress is considering

Attend upcoming Women’s Center events – check out our spring calendar

A reflection from Jess Myers, Women’s Center director 

Last weekend, I finally decided I would go to the Women’s March on Washington.

I’ve been to marches in the past. I drove 18 hours from Baltimore to Ft. Benning, Georgia in my early 20s for the School of Americas protest with a van load of Mercy nuns and my best friend. Attending college in Washington, D.C. during the immediate aftermath of 9/11 and the start of the Afghanistan and Iraq wars had me popping on the Metro often enough to join an anti-war rally. My favorite Pride parades have been the ones I’ve walked in rather than watched from the sidelines. In Baltimore, I’ve marched for justice, for Trayvon Martin and Freddie Gray, for Black Lives.

But, never have I marched for and with women for a platform dedicated to women’s rights.

A few weeks ago, I was in a room with several UMBC faculty members as they recalled their memories of past women’s marches. As they shared their experiences, it was evident that being in a space with thousands of other women advocating for women’s rights was a powerful moment for them. While each of the individuals who shared their stories have committed their lives to activism and feminism, those marches still held a unique and powerful place in their hearts. In fact, what was particularly striking was how they spoke about their experiences in relationship to those who were with them – their mothers, their daughters, their friends.

I want to be in relationship with other women and I’ve decided that going to this Saturday’s march is just one way I can do that. I recognize that it’s a privilege to put aside my reservations about going (really, for anyone going to the march, please read this important blog by Brittany Oliver and the other resources she’s provided at the end of her post) and I will continue to sift through the messiness and be in conversations with others about what I can do to always do better by paying attention to and learning from others.

Just as importantly, I want the momentum and energy to continue after the march, especially for those who are new to the movement, new to activism, new to seeing things that are unfair and unjust. I want us to stay loud. To stay critical. To stay visible and demand what is right, what is necessary. I want you to volunteer. I want you to keep learning and growing. I want you to find your activism (if you haven’t already) and make a difference. I want all those things for myself as well.

I want to be on a journey with others who are dedicated to ending gender inequality and living the values of social justice. The march will be a moment in time and I’m so glad I have a space like the Women’s Center to welcome others to join me once Saturday is over.

Three years ago this month, the Women’s Center unveiled a new logo – the Wye Oak Tree. This logo was intended to better represent our mission, values, and priorities, which are similar to that of the vision and principles of the Women’s March on Washington. In sharing our mission, I hope it serves as a reminder to you that the Women’s Center at UMBC works daily to advocate for and advance the rights of women and marginalized people. You are invited to join us in our work today and every day.

The Women’s Center at UMBC advances gender equity from an intersectional feminist perspective through co-curricular programming, support services, and advocacy for marginalized individuals and communities. We prioritize critical social justice as our community value, with a deliberate focus on women, gender, anti-racism, and feminism.

All are welcome as long as they respect women. Their experiences. Their stories. Their potential.

Whether you march or not, on this day and every day, in and through the work the Women’s Center does, we support you, we believe you, we see you.

Our Guiding Principles

• We will encourage authentic dialogues among students, faculty, and staff to facilitate consciousness-raising, transformative learning, and self-determination.
• We will embody our commitment to diversity, inclusivity, and social justice in our operation, staffing, and programming.
• We will operate from a holistic and non-hierarchical anti-violence framework.
• We will challenge the barriers that reinforce inequity and oppression impacting our university and broader communities.
• We will cultivate women’s empowerment, involvement, and leadership in all aspects of university life.

And don’t forget:
If you’re going to the march, be sure to register!
Check out these recent podcasts from Stuff Mom Never Told You and Call Your Girlfriend for more on the history of women’s marches and details about this Saturday’s march organizers.
Stop by the Women’s Center this Friday from 11am-2pm to rally together and be in community and conversation with others – plus make a rally sign (while supplies last).

A weekly round-up curated by Women’s Center staff member, Michael Jalloh Jamboria

In the spirit of my friend, who gave us the glorious name ‘Slaying on the Weekly’, every week I will be bringing you some interesting, funny or thought-provoking content from the internet! Be sure to join us next week for more and continue to slay!

Things you should know:

The Bell Foundry, a queer/POC dominated art space, was condemned on Monday December 5th, displacing dozens of artists and performers in the process. There are efforts to find temporary homes and long term spaces for those people, including a benefit relief fund event.

Article of the Week:

Time Magazine has a pretty good list of tips for exam week. Take care of yourself, get some sleep, you’ll do fine.

The holidays are coming up, meaning family. We understand family can be difficult to navigate and be around. Check out Feministing’s guide for navigating the holidays.

UMBC Happenings:

Self-Care Day is December 12th from 12pm to 1pm. Join us during free hour for arts/crafts, tea/coffee and a stress-free zone.

During Exam week and Winter break, the Women’s Center will be reducing the hours of operation.

Song of the Week:

I’ve been listening to really great music recently, and I want to share that with all of you! This week’s song is a youtube playlist for studying. Enjoy some jazzy goodness and get some work done!

You are great! You can pass all of your exams! Enjoy winter break!

The panelists and facilitators (from left to right: Shira Devorah, Dr. Kate Drabinski, Dr. Mejdulene Shomali, Dan Wiley, and me, Mike Jalloh-Jamboria) from the Fatness in Focus Roundtable. Keep an eye out for the roundup! 

A weekly round-up curated by Women’s Center staff member, Michael Jalloh Jamboria

In the spirit of my friend, who gave us the glorious name ‘Slaying on the Weekly’, every week I will be bringing you some interesting, funny or thought-provoking content from the internet! Be sure to join us next week for more and continue to slay!

Article of the Week:

The Women’s Center is dedicated to our mission. In our effects of promote gender equity and serve marginalized communities, we want to provide a few resources and encourage all of the UMBC Community to reach out to the Women’s Center. We want to hear your worries, questions and concerns. In the meantime, check out our list of resources.

• Speak Up: Responding to Everyday Bigotry (Southern Poverty Law Center)
• Preparation for January by Demographic Issue
• Oh Crap! What Now? Survival Guide (pages on various demographic issues/concerns)
• Surveillance Self-Defense
• Web-Security: Harm Reductionist Guide
• Solidarity Networks
• Concrete Suggestions in Preparation for January 2017’s change in American government (by demographic issue, but for any interested readers)
• Information on long-term birth control options

UMBC Happenings:

Professors and activists within the Gender + Women’s Studies Dept have started a petition to Pres. Hrabowski and other provosts to make UMBC a sanctuary institution. Want to sign? Click on the link to add your name and affiliation to the petition!

This week was Black Lives Matter week. They had a plethora of great events that helped mobilize students and expand on their definition of Black Lives Matter. The UMBC event page for Black Lives Matter week has recounts and pictures from the week, in case you missed the festivities.

Check out the Black Lives Matter memorial display on the Quad

Song of the Week:

I’ve been listening to really great music recently, and I want to share that with all of you! This week’s song is ‘Get Up, Stand Up’ by Bob Marley + the Wailers.

Before I leave you, I’m sure you are all aware that next week is Thanksgiving. I understand how difficult it can be to navigate going home and being with family, especially over longer periods of time. Feministing’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays is a great resource for tips pertaining to how to gendered expectations, political arguments and more. Take care!

Enjoy the Holidays! See you soon!

  A blog written by Women’s Center student staff member Ciera Earl

November. It has been a month of triumph for some, but a great loss for most of us. While this month is coming to an end and the holiday season is beginning, it’s important to know how to handle the obstacles that may come with going home or visiting families during this time of year.

I know for myself, being around family is very difficult. Whether it’s from the constant questions about the future, my love life, or whatever “phase” I’m in this time – my anxiety goes through the roof. I’m sure many can relate.

But that actually bothers me. It’s unfortunate that in some way, shape, or form this is relatable for so many people.

Be that as it may, it’s important that while passing the gravy and dodging topics that you come first. Having a self-care plan can be a way to prepare for the challenges that come with the holiday season and families.

Here are a few tips on how to survive the holidays with family: 

(Image: Shutterstock)

Set Boundaries. Remember, you have a choice.

Sometimes it can feel like an obligation to join in on the festivities – honestly I feel obligated to do everything – but it’s important to understand that you do not have to commit yourself to being apart of these events. If you choose to visit family, set clear boundaries. For instance, having safe space to stay can be a way to create comfort and safety for yourself. This way if you feel uncomfortable or need a break you have a separate space to go.  

Be aware of your anxiety. Notice when your tension levels are rising, and let yourself feel them. Feelings in and of themselves aren’t necessarily harmful – the actions resulting from those feelings are the real kicker, and quite often those actions happen because feelings are so bottled up that the pressure forces an explosion. Often, simply noticing and naming the anxiety can calm it.

When you notice tensions levels rising give yourself an out. If you have to spend an extended amount of time with family, work some down time into the schedule. Removing yourself from the situation can be vital.

Remember, this is temporary.

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

This maybe the hardest of them all. Most of us can survive anything for a small period of time. However, if a situation arises that you feel you may not be able to handle, by all means, remove yourself!

Take care of yourself.You know what you need to do to be healthy. Give yourself permission to be human.

While these tips are not all the ways to respond and react to you family, it’s a good place to start. Here are some more resources on how to respond and handle family during this time, particularly for those in the LGBTQ community:

• LGBT and Heading Home for the Holidays?
• A Gay in the Life: How to handle family during the holidays
• LGBT and Home for the Holidays? 7 Tips on How to Deal
• LGBT Problems: When Going Home for Thanksgiving Is Simply Too Awkward

It’s in times like these that I live by these wise words:

“You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” – Aibileen Clark

 A blog reflection by Women’s Center student staff member Shira Devorah

So I really love to talk about sex. It’s probably my favorite topic ever. I used to work for peer health education and with the sexual health committee at UHS here on campus. I’m considering becoming a therapist focusing on sex and relationships within the LGBTQ community.

I’ve always considered myself to be sex positive. But now I’m worried that identifying as such can be problematic.

Sex positivity, in a really bare-bones sense, is a movement that unpacks our taboo notions of sexuality and embraces and promotes human sexuality and personal exploration. There is a huge emphasis on safer sex and informed consent, encouraging respect for people’s personal preferences and boundaries.

I’m definitely here for all of this.

But what are the limitations of this movement?

At surface level, sex positivity is a really cool thing. I feel confident discussing birth control options and my needs with friends and partners. Sex positivity has really allowed me to open myself up as a person and not deny my interest and care about this subject. The fact that this movement exists means that I can one day work in a field devoted to improving sex lives for LGBTQ people.

But sometimes I wonder if I really want to call myself sex positive anymore. Is being sex positive actually accessible to other people? 

Although in theory sex positivity creates space for all people to explore their sexuality, in reality these conversations are not always accessible for everyone. There are many reasons sex positivity isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, even though it may be mine.

It’s difficult for women to be open about sexuality without some sort of pushback, and it can be especially challenging for women of color.

There are a lot of negative stereotypes surrounding women who choose to reclaim their own sexuality through sex positivity. First off, women who identify as sex positive often get sex shamed for their openness discussing these taboo topics. People tend to make a lot of assumptions about women who are open with their sexuality – that we’re ‘slutty’, interested in casual sex, unfeminine, or the object of male desire. These looming misconceptions may turn women off to the idea of being sex positive.

Although I may encounter some of these problematic assumptions, because I’m a white woman(ish) I’m not ever racially stereotyped based on my openness with sexual topics, which can be a reality for many people of color.

Many women of color are fetishized based on their race, and so they may feel more conflicted about associating with this term. For example, black women are often stereotyped as hypersexual, while Asian women are stereotyped as submissive sex objects. Since women of color are often already sexualized in troubling ways, sex positivity might make women of color feel more ostracized. Franchesca Ramsey has a really great video on sexual and dating racism you should check out here.

Feminista Jones from her website, feministajones.com

Some activists, like Feminista Jones, a Black feminist sex positive blogger, have helped counteract this narrative within sex positive circles. Jones has  written about subverting the idea that Black women are hypersexual. In her piece “From Slavery to Sexual Freedom,” Jones discusses embracing Black female sexuality is an act of defiance against the fetishization of women of color. This is one example of how sex positivity can be reclaimed as an intersectional term – but this still doesn’t solve the systemic issue of racial sexualization.

On a different note, I’m also mindful about potentially alienating asexual people and survivors of sexual violence. Sure, I absolutely love being an open book when it comes to sex and sexuality. This means that I talk a lot about sexuality in a variety of different ways; I feel comfortable discussing the educational aspects of sexuality, like teaching people about consent or how to use contraceptives.

Still, I sometimes find myself  discussing less ‘academic’ aspects of human sexuality. I am comfortable with pretty personal conversations, but a lot of people may not be. Some people may even be triggered by these conversations.

Of course, there is a vast difference between discussing safe sex and talking explicitly about sex with friends. Still, the line between informative sexual discussions and casual and potentially invasive discussions may be difficult to draw – especially if you’re like me and never stop the conversation. For close friends, I have a better understanding of what their boundaries are, and know what is and is not appropriate to say. These kinds of discussions are very different than those concerning contraception, which can be appropriate based on who is having this conversation, which spaces they are taking place in. In spaces that are more public, it is possible that people may overhear and be triggered by my discussions. Sometimes conversations that aren’t sexually explicit may still be troubling to some individuals. I need to stay tuned to the needs of all people who may be present.

I don’t know everyone’s stories, and it’s not my business to know their trauma or identity. It is, however, my business to be courteous and kind – and my loud, boisterous chats about contraception might not be as enjoyable to someone else as it is to me.

So how can I problematize sex positivity while continuing to associate with the movement?

I think I need to re-define what sex positivity is to me. It is all that I have grown accustomed to, but so much more. My kind of sex positivity is an inclusive one, accessible to all bodies. My sex positivity is open and honest, but should not be loud nor in-your-face. My sex positivity reclaims sexuality, but understands how sexuality can be misused and feed into rape culture and patriarchy. Most importantly, my sex positivity is my own, and I do not have have to expect other people to see things the way that I do. It does not make them any less of a feminist to feel uncomfortable with sex positivity, it just makes their lens different.

art by Ronnie Ritchie, for everyday feminism

I would really love to reconcile with the term “sex positive” while being mindful that this identifier is not always accessible, realistic, or even as positive as the title claims.

I must be critical of the limitations of being sex positive. I want to expand my awareness for who is included and who gets left out of this narrative. My sex positivity needs to include all bodies, all genders, and all sexualities. In order to reconcile with my own sex positivity, I must remember that it is not the one right way to be a feminist.

A weekly round-up curated by Women’s Center staff member, Michael Jalloh Jamboria

In the spirit of my friend, who gave us the glorious name ‘Slaying on the Weekly’, every week I will be bringing you some interesting, funny or thought-provoking content from the internet! Be sure to join us next week for more and continue to slay!

Things you should know:

As President Obama welcomes the President- elect, many are reminding others that he is #notourpresident. As we try to understand what this means for our communities and loved ones, be sure to watch Hillary Clinton’s concession speech. It’s disheartening yet inspirational and a call to action as we move forward as a nation.

Article of the Week:

Jess Myers, the director of the Women’s Center, wanted to share one of the articles of the week. Here’s Why We Grieve Today. Please remember that it’s perfectly acceptable to grieve. It’s ok to be sad, cry or scream. Your emotions are valid and if you need a place to process them, the Women’s Center will be here for you.

I’d also like to share Finish your Ugly-Crying, Here’s What Comes Next. The author shares things we can all do to support the “mental health and safety of your friends”.

UMBC Happenings:

There is great activism and craftivism in the works. Artist collectives and protests are happening all throughout Baltimore and other major cities. Get involved, reach out to the Women’s Center to share your needs and concerns. We want to be here with you as you grieve, heal and rebel.

Song of the Week:

I’ve been listening to really great music recently, and I want to share that with all of you! This week’s song is Keep Your Head Up by Tupac.

I love you, I see your pain. We’re here for you. Until next week!

A weekly round-up curated by Women’s Center staff member, Michael Jalloh Jamboria

In the spirit of my friend, who gave us the glorious name ‘Slaying on the Weekly’, every week I will be bringing you some interesting, funny or thought-provoking content from the internet! Be sure to join us next week for more and continue to slay!

Things you should know:

Believe it or not, voting happens in a few very short weeks. Early voting begins November 3rd. The presidential election is important, but so are the 469 Congressional seats up for re-election! That’s a lot! Stay informed and get there to vote!

As we continue to track the water protectors in North Dakota, there are other ways to support them in their endeavors to save our planet! Check out 5 Ways to Support Water Protectors in Standing Rock.

Article of the Week:

Even though Critical Social Justice is over, I’m still thinking about how we can make our activist spaces more accessible. This week I read 6 Ways Your Social Justice Activism Might Be Ableist on Everyday Feminism.

My good friend Dan, and Women’s Center student staff member wanted to share what he was reading this week. Check out ‘What They Really Mean When They Say They’re Not Voting‘.

UMBC Happenings:

The Fatness in Focus November Roundtable is coming up. Be sure to check out the event flyer and join us on November 30th in the Women’s Center.

Song of the Week:

I’ve been listening to really great music recently, and I want to share that with all of you! I know it’s Friday but I have to post a throwback. This week’s song is by Ingrid Michaelson. Check out ‘The Way I Am’! 

Until next week! Stay safe!