“HVZ” is a student interest organization at UMBC in which participants shoot each other with nerf guns as a coping mechanism to help the players deal with the fact that they picked such a ridiculous hobby in the first place. Recently, the club organized a 7 day game that involved a sock-and-foam-bullet armed team of of “humans” against an steadily growing army of headband-wearing “zombies”. After 168 grueling hours of “gameplay”, Humans vs. Zombies club members were proud to announce their highly coveted status of “Most Obnoxious Group On Campus”, a phrase currently being used as the groups slogan (as opposed to their previous motto: “No Normies Allowed”). However, for freshman computer science major Jacob Parsons, the organization stands for something completely different: a fashion group.
The members of Humans vs. Zombies stick to a very specific dress code: trench coats, cargo shorts, socks with sandals, untrimmed facial hair, “My Little Pony” shirts, and of course- fedora hats. As HvZ captain Chirstofer Weneger states “It is all part of our aesthetic- we want an outfit that says 'It's not a phase mom, Nerf or nothing!'”. The organization's die-hard adherence to the dress code was displayed this weekend when Parsons applied for club membership, but was rejected due to “lack of proper wardrobe”. Initially outraged, Parsons contacted several SEB officers in an attempt to get the decision overturned, but the case was rejected on the grounds that all SEB policies regarding membership discrimination only apply to student organizations that involve legitimate, constructive hobbies and activities.
"I don't even really care anymore”
said Parsons, in an exclusive MBC News interview, “I wanted to
prove that Humans vs. Zombies could be more than just an outlet for
neckbeards to show off how much money they spend on kids toys at
Walmart, but I don't know anymore”.