In the past year or so, there has been a lot of restructuring at UMBC. If you haven’t noticed yet, there’s a new roundabout where the actual entrance of the school sits. You might not be able to decipher which way is which because this new traffic pattern is messier and more confusing than the old pattern. The Construction Manager, Bill D. Rhodes, (who can only be found on-site every second Tuesday of every other month during free hour) says, “This new way will make it even harder for students, parents, faculty, visitors, and squirrels to navigate UMBC.” This construction has brought us roads that actually lead you to places you want to be and clearly separate right and left lanes on the outer loop. Rhodes shares the details of the mission of his construction: “The idea was to make traffic on Hilltop Circle so bad that the roads in the loop would look even more sparse and drivable. Like I say, if UMBC drivers can’t do their job, then we’ll make the roads emptier so that they can at least manage something.”
But reconfiguring new traffic patterns aren’t the only thing delaying construction on our lonely and windy hill. A whole slew of nests filled with Library Gnomes have been found. The first nest was found in one of the quiet floors when one of the baby Gnomes grew restless and was causing a ruckus. More nests have been found since then. Be on the lookout for more in the vinyl collection, the basement, the leisure reading room, and other quiet floors. This sudden Library Gnome population outburst has halted construction due to the fact that Hrabowski has a soft spot for these little fellas and feels compelled to help them out. The new roundabout? It was created with the Gnomes in mind: there’s a special road that will help other Gnomes from CCBC commute to UMBC easier. We just needed a little extra time to work the human and gnome routes together. Manager Rhodes comments, “The best thing about the construction is that the gnomes will be able to travel with ease. UMBC caters to the gnomes.”
The roundabout is not the only that’s being delayed. The pond, which has seen multiple push-back dates is scheduled to be finished Fall of 2015. There have been many Gnomes found here since it was their summer home. UMBC has collaborated with the best Gnome architects to make it the best amusement and waterpark for Gnomes across the country. There have also been rumors about the Old Theatre Building to soon be demolished and made into a life sciences building. This project has been delayed many times due to the fact that the Gnomes hold plays here. Last year, they did an amazing job with Weird Romance. UMBC’s Musical Theatre Club, coincidentally, is also doing this show later in the year. How are they going to top the Library Gnomes? This semester, the Gnomes are putting on the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. Tickets will be on sale sometime in October. You can pick them up at the GIC (Gnome Information Center). Hrabowski could not be found for comment. But we all know he has the dear Library Gnomes in his heart.
-- Your Aunt
POLL! Who do you think will do/did Weird Romance better?