“You had literally one job” exclaimed junior Meteorology major Britney Murine last Friday, fists raised to the sky. Despite an abundance a flood warnings and a state of emergency declared by Governor Larry Hogan, rainfall from Hurricane Joaquin did not meet the threshold to cancel classes at UMBC. “I don't know what people were expecting” says senior Biochemistry major James Bauer “If we didn't cancel for five inches of snow, there's no way this bitch ass tropical storm is gonna stop us from learning. I bought a canoe anyway though, just in case”.
The misjudged weather has also had a significant impact on the local economy, at least for John Markus, sole owner of Arbutus business “John's Kayak Emporium”. “I had this whole rental program set up and everything” says Markus in an exclusive interview “I was counting on academic row flooding up to at least two feet, I could have retired just from helping UMBC students make it to class”.
Unfortunately, the hurricane could not be reached for comment.