Movember, in addition to being the eleventh month of the calendar year, is also the recognized month of men’s health and ‘having a legitimate excuse for not shaving your goddamn face’. From the beginning of time, men the world over have banded together during this month and raised awareness for men’s health initiatives by celebrating their gnarly face pubes. Men’s health, for the uninformed reader, is primarily concerned with such glories of nature as the prostate and the testicles. The Movember movement draws inspiration specifically from the bridge between these two bits and dawdles: the taint, the putting green between the balls and the hole. This is why every Movember enthusiast’s face resembles a taint itself.
Every great movement has its detractors, however. In this case, many a radical feminist (SPOILER: radical here does not mean ‘super rad’) argues against the ideology behind Movember, on the basis that a month dedicated to raising support for men’s health is privileged by nature. They do have a point in this respect: Mother Nature did indeed privilege these men with penises, which are awfully good at spinning about like helicopter propellers. Counter-argument: ‘Save the Ta-Tas’ is also privileged. What I wouldn’t give for a couple of cup-fulls myself.
Nevertheless, many radical feminists object to this line of reasoning, on the grounds that it is reasoning to begin with. The more educated of the pack spout a line such as ‘interdimensional synthetic impressions’ and, well, as the Japanese say, “They used CONFUSION! It’s SUPER EFFECTIVE!”
Opponents of Movember also tend to lump men’s health initiatives (pun fucking intended) into the same category as men’s rights. Now, men’s rights doesn’t sound like an awful idea until you realize that men’s rights activists commonly identify as ‘meninists’. Absolutely fucking disgusting. This misunderstanding results in blurred lines, movements often being confused for each other. What follows is a confused mish-mash of feminism, meninism, denimism, lemonism, eminemism, mahna-mahna-mahnism, and chim-chim-chiminee-minism.
In blatant protest of men’s health, the radical feminist would change the name of our beloved month from MO-vember to NO-vember. Can you imagine such a world? It is a fundamental right that any man should be encouraged to bare his barely beard all throughout the year, but especially in the month of Movember. The college freshmen of the world depend upon it (and sure, to some extent, middle-aged men do, too). So whaddya say? Show support by wearing specialty MBC ‘Men’s Health’ T-shirts. Available in two slogans: ‘Awareness through Hairiness’ and ‘NO NO-vember, MO' MO-Movember’.
Otto Fellatio is a man who has many fond memories of swinging his dick about like a helicopter. But this story makes his dick sad and scared. If you would like to make his dick happy again, please PAW this post!