In the rush of registration, students wait at the 59th second of the 29th minute of the hour they are able to enroll in classes. And as the clock rolls to 30, they click their trackpads as hard as they ever will -- unless they’re playing 10 Second Click and so desperately wish to break the world record of 1,051 clicks in ten seconds. But not all students will be able to successfully matriculate into the class they so desperately need in order to finish their four years at UMBC. To combat this, the university has added one more general education requirement subsection for students: Real Word Application, or R.W.A. -- not to be confused with the N.W.A. What would the R even stand for? Rich-people With Attitudes? Oh… I guess that works...
UMBC’s new Real World Classes are exactly what they sound like, courses with information that can be applied in real-life situations.
Sure, that algebra class would be helpful, but you know what would be even better? A math class where students learn to recognize the most basic shapes. A few weeks ago at TheatreCOM’s Friday Night Live, we released information on MATH 003, Super-Duper-Basic Geometry. In this class, students are expected to easily spot a red octagonal shape with the letters S-T-O-P plastered in white. Or how to distinguish white lines from yellow lines. And the advanced material, dotted vs solid lines. It’s OK. The class walks you through all the basics you will need to succeed in the real world. Super-senior Brad D. River says, “I wish I had something like this freshman year. Maybe I wouldn’t have so many goddamn parking tickets.”
In another practice, sociology may be considered a pseudoscience, but SOCY 100 will make sociology an actual relevant quote- science -unquote. This 100 class turns sociology backwards. Instead of studying the social interactions between people in the real world, students will be expected to learn how to socially interact with real-world people. No students could be found for comment. If they took SOCY 100, we wouldn’t be in this predicament, would we?
In the real world, people know how to do taxes and balance checkbooks. This material is way too advanced for the undergraduate student. If you ever make it to grad school, UMBC offers this simple class and countless others. But for undergraduates, ECON 420 is the easy equivalent. This class teaches students how to budget weed, alcohol, and food so that they can smoke, drink, and visit Outtakes at the right times so they won’t be without the munchies.Sign up for these R.W.A. classes now! They can’t be found online yet, so you better run to the Office of the Registrar right now before they all fill up.