It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was 1975. Hippies were finally starting to find jobs, disco was profitable (somehow), and the nation was caught up in the viscous sludge of post-Vietnam angst. Meanwhile, David Robert Jones, having officially retired the Ziggy Stardust persona, was in Los Angeles recording his tenth studio album “Station to Station”. During the recording sessions, Bowie relied on a well-balanced diet consisting entirely of red peppers, milk, and 100% pure white Colombian grade cocaine. According to a Playboy interview, this caused Bowie to spend much of 1975 in “a state of psychological terror”, seeing bodies fall past his window, hoarding black candles, and convincing himself that Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page was trying to kill him. Despite, or perhaps because of his heavy cocaine habit, Bowie reached his artistic zenith with the release of Station to Station. The album was a huge critical and commercial success, earning Gold certification in America, Great Britain and Canada. That next year, Bowie took the money he had earned and moved all the way to Berlin, where he would record his next three albums with the famous producer Brian Eno. The rest is history.
The Thin White Duke may have passed away, but his legacy has been immortalized in more ways than one. Most recently, in the title of the Central American business formerly known as “Joni Montana's Crazy Colombian Cocaine Casa”, which as of last Monday, has been renamed “The David Bowie Recreational Drug Refinery”. “It's the least we can do” said Mrs. Montana herself, in an exclusive MBC News interview, “After all, he provided at least 20% of our business when we were getting started in the early 70's.” Additionally, the company is giving away one 180g audiophile-quality vinyl LP pressing of Station to Station for every cocaine purchase of $200 or more in a limited time offer. As we transcend into the post-Bowie era of human existence, we must not forget the lessons he taught us. In the words of the Starman himself: “Good god, get these fucking spiders out of my head.”