This post was written by Carlos A. Turcios 15’, 17’ M.A. (he/him/his), Coordinator for Student Diversity and Inclusion. Carlos is also a Senator on the Professional Staff Senate and Treasurer of the Chapter of Black and Latino Alumni. During his spare time, he enjoys playing with his dogs and has currently been playing (a lot of) Animal Crossing New Horizons.

*Trigger Warning: Includes hate-based language, bullying, and experiences of homophobia and racism. 

College isn’t easy. Admittedly, I reminisce about some of my favorite classes but being a student can involve long nights, lots of studying, and an insurmountable amount of internal pressure to succeed. These experiences as a student become exacerbated when you have pressures tied to your identities - for me that was specifically being a 1st-generation American/college student and a queer person of color (QPOC). 

However, I would never trade this experience for another. UMBC holds a special place in my heart because it was the first place that I felt fully seen for who I was as a person. I’ve been recently reminded of how special our campus is to me after reconnecting with so many of my LGBTQ+ friends during our COVID-19 quarantining.  

Those that are close to me  know that from the third grade, I was bullied mercilessly because of my masculinity...or lack thereof. I still remember being sucker punched and called a f*gg*t by the other boys at school simply because I did not have the mannerisms of a “man.” My parents noticed that I lost the drive to go to school. My parents eventually stepped in by contacting the schools but due to their limited English skills, they didn’t get very far. The school’s response instead was to put me into my own corner in the back of the classroom.

As a kid in the late 90s/early 2000s, positive portrayals of LGBTQ+ characters/celebrities were basically non-existent to me. This was before the widespread use of social media that facilitated communication with other LGBTQ+ folks. As I got older, I was not fully aware of my gay identity but I knew that I was different than the other boys. I was scared to talk about this with my parents. I felt ashamed to share what I was feeling because clearly my identity was “wrong” and “bad,” otherwise I wouldn’t have been bullied. By the time I got to high school, the majority of the bullying had stopped. However, I had internalized the experiences I had from the 3rd-8th grade so much so that I withdrew from others and had a very limited number of friends. Others probably viewed me as awkward or introverted, but inside I wasn’t happy about what I was feeling. 

Fortunately, my high school counselor saw that I was struggling and served as a mentor to me as I was going through the first stages of my queer identity development process. I was finally able to share my identity with someone and it felt liberating. After a few months of meeting with her, I finally mustered up the courage to come out to my parents. I wrote a letter and it didn’t go well. My parents didn’t want to accept it because they were scared of the potential danger I could encounter as a gay man. During my time in high school, I developed close friendships with other students who were great allies. They  were the first peers who I came out to in my junior year of high school. As the following year progressed, my parents came not only to accept me but also become my biggest supporters (Admittedly, it was still super awkward having them meet my first boyfriend at age 17). I eventually graduated high school and got accepted into UMBC. 

UMBC was a culture shock for me. Not racially, but from an LGBTQ+ standpoint, It was the first time that I knew what it meant to have community. It was the first place that I was able to fully explore my identities and integrate them into who I have become today. Most importantly, it was the first place that I felt safe. I was able to meet some of my best friends. I did experience some academic challenges at UMBC but they were connected to my first-gen college student, second-gen immigrant identity, and some personal unexpected health and financial challenges in my family. These challenges could have been easier to navigate if I didn’t have the unnecessary feeling of embarrassment to ask for help. This cost me taking an additional year of school. Regardless, I recognize the privilege it has been to have access to a post-secondary education. But I digress, that is for another post. In the end, I was able to finally graduate and attend the second Lavender Celebration. It was really nice to know that I was sharing this celebratory milestone with my peers. 

Throughout my many years at UMBC, I have been able to get two bachelor’s, a masters, a certificate, and been a staff member while still taking courses for my continued educational growth. One of my main roles (previous to Heidy George’s arrival) was planning the Annual Lavender Celebration. I planned the 4th-6th Lavender Celebrations with the assistance of our past student interns/peers and the rest of the Student Diversity and Inclusion staff. This also could have not been done without the student, alumni, staff, and faculty members that have spoken at our annual celebrations and volunteered in the award selection process, supported our marketing and promotion, and speaking at our annual celebrations. Our students have joked in our office about how much I pay attention to detail when it comes to creating the color scheme for the decor, the program, the awards, and other key parts that make the program possible. I confess that I do enjoy seeing all the Lavender for the day. However, I put a lot of energy into this event because I wanted to celebrate our newer graduates. 

Today, my parents, my friends, and my partner Josh have become my main support system and have been my biggest cheerleaders in both my academic and professional careers. 

Although my experiences as a queer kid bring back a lot of the pain and something that should be acknowledged, I don’t want to be pitied. This is an experience that is very personal to me yet one that unfortunately I know I am not alone in. Instead, I, like everyone else, deserve to be celebrated. This celebration goes beyond me, our office, and our campus. It’s about celebrating the fact that LGBTQ+ people persevere in attaining their degrees, despite the sociopolitical barriers placed on us because of our sexual/romantic orientation and/or gender identity/expression. Like I said in the beginning, college isn’t easy, but we should take the time to honor all the work we did to make it through our journey. 

So you may be wondering “what I can do to be a better ally?” or “how can I show my support for a graduating LGBTQ+ student?” Well, now that you know more about my coming out story,  I encourage you to come to our 7th Annual Lavender Celebration. I know things look a little different this year, but we hope that we can create a similar communal feel through a virtual experience. I want to give a special shout out to Heidy George, Program Associate for Student Diversity and Inclusion and Amelia Meman, Assistant Director of the Women’s Center for taking the lead on planning this year’s celebration. It has been an honor to be part of the 2017-2019 Lavender Celebration planning process.

This is just my story and connection to the Lavender Celebrations/Ceremonies/Graduations happening across campuses globally. If you want to know more about its history, I encourage you to visit this link. As for those who are struggling or know someone who is struggling, I encourage you to reach out to our staff (i.e. Campus Life’s Mosaic, Interfaith, and Pride Centers) or seek help either through the UMBC Counseling Center, UMBC’s Women’s Center, or National LGBTQ+ Hotlines such as the Trevor Project, GLBT National Help Center. Don’t be embarrassed because you may be struggling or falling behind. I can attest that there are countless staff and faculty members that care about you not only as a student but as a person. 

Remember that you matter, you are valued, and that you are loved. 

Let’s be honest: computers,televisions, tablets, gaming devices, and cellphones are really cool. Just a few years ago, these devices couldn’t do half the things they do now. 

These days there is a ton of information at our fingertips. 

• There are thousands of hours of cat videos on Youtube.

• We can connect with friends and family on the other side of the world during a global pandemic. 

• We can work from home.

• We can binge watch hours of our favorite shows.

In order to achieve all these things, however, we spend hundreds of hours looking at screens. 

• Research has shown that college students spend approximately 8-10 hours a day using their cellphones, which includes looking at screens.

• That’s the same amount of hours recommended for a healthy night’s sleep. 

• That number doesn’t account for the amount of time also spent looking at computer screens or televisions. 

Unfortunately, the increased amount of time we spend in front of screens has reduced the amount of time we spend engaging in physical activity and connecting with each other in person. 

Excessive amounts of screen time can lead to: 

• reduced physical activity

• irregular sleep patterns

• impaired social skills

• overeating

• eye strain

• repetitive-use injuries, such as carpal tunnel

• neck, shoulder, and back pain

• increased risk for depression 

In the time of COVID-19, using technology and devices with screens has become the primary way that many of us can remain connected with others. 

• With many people working from home and students, including UMBC students, taking classes online, it's hard to not find ourselves in front of a screen for multiple hours a day. 

However, we can reduce the impact of increased screen time by 

• setting a daily screen time limit;

• making meals, including those with family, technology-free;

• avoiding screen devices at least one hour before bed;  

• standing and stretching at least once an hour while working;

• being mindful of your posture while sitting;

• finding an activity that doesn’t include a screen, like reading a book or completing a puzzle;

• connecting with family and friends without the use of technology, such as writing and mailing a letter; and 

• getting outside and taking a walk (please practice safe physical distancing).

If you feel like your screen time and/or use of social media is negatively impacting your quality of life or your relationships, please call the Counseling Center at 410-455-2472 for help. 

Greetings fellow hunkerdowners!

This year marks the Seventh Annual Lavender Awards Celebration. The Lavender Awards celebrate the wonderful achievements of UMBC's LGBTQ+ graduating seniors, graduate students, and their allies. We recognize students as well as the allied alums, staff, faculty, and programs that work to support them. Although we are not able to host any festivities on campus this spring, we believe that there is still a lot to celebrate about our beautifully resilient LGBTQ+ community. Please mark your calendars for a virtual celebration on Tuesday, May 19th at 1pm.

This year’s virtual Lavender Celebration will include a welcome address, keynote speaker, slideshow of pictures and reflections from our graduating students, presentation of the Lavender Awards and farewell messages from staff, faculty, and students.

If you are an LGBTQ+ graduating senior or graduate student (graduating Winter 2019 or Spring 2020), you still have time to submit your photographs, reflections, and mailing address to receive your lavender cord by visiting the following link.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact Heidy George at hmg@umbc.edu. 

This year’s celebration is brought to you by Campus Life’s Student Diversity & Inclusion and the Women’s Center. We look forward to celebrating some of our best and brightest with you!

What do the words relaxation, zen, stress relief, center, reflection, and healing all have in common? 

All of these terms have been associated with meditation. 

Meditation is a practice that focuses on the interactions between the mind, the body, and the behavior. 

• Meditation has a long history and is practiced in many different cultures around the world. Here are the basics to meditation:

• A quiet space with as few distractions as possible

• Comfortable posture

• A focus for your attention

• An open mind

• Relaxed breathing

While the practice of meditation should contain these basics, the practice of meditation is unique to all of us. 

• From the space we choose to the comfortable posture we select, it’s up to us. 

• The biggest key to a successful meditation practice that we all must remember is to stay present in the moment. 

• While we meditate, our thoughts may drift or we may become momentarily distracted, that’s okay.

• Just bring your thoughts back to your focus when you notice. It’s natural for the mind to drift. Meditation is an ongoing practice. 

Some of the emotional benefits of practicing meditation include 

• building skills to manage stress

• focusing on the present

• reducing negative emotions

While meditation is not a replacement for seeking care from a healthcare provider or a therapist, it has been linked to improving the treatment of

• depression

• anxiety

• sleep problems

Here are a few ways to practice meditation:

• deep breathing

• scan your body

• repeat a positive mantra

• read and reflect

• focus on gratitude

• engage in a spiritual reflection or prayer

Looking for more on meditation? Check out these apps and resources to help you craft your own meditation practice:

Resources available from UMBC:

• WellTrack

• Let’s Meditate - sessions offered by the Counseling Center weekdays at noon and 4:30 p.m.

• Yoga - Offered by UMBC Recreation every day at 10 a.m. (except Tuesday and Saturday)

Free phone apps are also available.

• Calm

• Aura

• Stop, Breathe & Think 

• Insight Timer 

This post is written by Sofia Encarnacion, a Diversity & Inclusion Peer at the Mosaic Center. Sofia is a sophomore Economics and Mathematics major. In her spare time, she likes to play Animal Crossing. When the semester ends, she will finally watch Avatar the Last Airbender.

“It’s just absurd. What it tells you is this: You are expendable. You’re nothing. You’re nobody.” 

My dad has been working 60 hours a week at a well-known, national company. His work involves manual labor and a lot of standing. There have been several confirmed cases of COVID-19 at this particular center, but management will not share information on which departments may be affected. My dad turned 60 years old last month. He works the night shift, with hours from 8pm to 6am. Sometimes more.

“I just seem to face life the same way anyway, so this is not a strange thing for me. This is the way life has always been for me, so what’s the difference? There is no difference. Since I have to survive and I’m living and breathing I have no choice,” he said. The company  has been paying workers double for any hours over 40 hours a week.

This conversation was really difficult to have. I get to live somewhat comfortably with my brother in his apartment in this safe Rockville neighborhood while my dad spends every moment either sleeping or working. I’ll be honest, this is not the first time I’ve seen my dad work this hard. I -like most people- don’t have a perfect relationship with my dad, but I still care about him deeply. 

He was working the night shift before the pandemic hit. Every time I’d see him, he’d be tired. He spent a lot of Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays sleeping due to his unconventional schedule. Financial stability was never a reality for us and his employer has taken advantage of that. It hurts to see him like this: absent, exhausted, and thinner than I’ve ever seen him.

When we talked on the phone, Bernie Sanders had just suspended his U.S. Presidential campaign. It felt like the most hopeless conversation. My whole family has been rooting for Bernie. My dad taught us to be involved in politics at an early age. I have been listening to his lectures about the Iraq War since I was 8 years old. I have to credit him in his attempts to keep us not only informed, but passionate about issues that matter to us. When we talked on the phone, I didn’t hear his usual resentment towards an unjust system. It was a defeated tone. I can’t blame him. Who has the energy to be angry while also dealing with the anxiety of a pandemic as an essential worker?

We also talked about the word “essential”. I made a comment on how we call workers essential but we treat them like they’re disposable. “Well that’s how we treat soldiers too, isn’t it?” This led to a conversation about America’s economic interests versus the survival of its people. Which made me think that he’s right. Some things haven’t really changed.

So what can I or you do about this, especially now?  I believe that the only way we can prevent this continued sacrifice of America’s low income residents is to vote in politicians who value the American people as people and not based on what they can provide the economy. Right now, everything is very depressing, but let me leave you with this quote: “Let this moment radicalize you rather than lead you to despair.”

A photo of my dad posing for the family group chat in his work clothes: