April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and the Women’s Center is hosting its 5th consecutive Take Back The Night (TBTN) on Thursday, April 13th. Over the years, we’ve had a lot of questions about what Take Back the Night exactly is, why it looks the way it does, and how students can get involved. To help get those questions answered this year, we’ve doing a “What You Need to Know” series focused on TBTN so stay tuned for more posts over the next couple of weeks. This is the 2nd post in the series and it focuses on the survivor speak-out.

The survivor speak-out is the heart of Take Back the Night. This is the point in the night where survivors are encouraged to come up and share their story with the crowd before the march throughout campus. As a survivor, sharing your story at TBTN allows you to publicly acknowledge your experience with a crowd that believes you and supports you.

I, student staff member Kayla Smith, have started the speak out for the past two years and I cherish that moment as a time where I can share my experience with people who I know won’t judge me. I can look out into a crowd of people who won’t tell me its my fault, ask what I was wearing, ask if I was drinking, or tell me that I was responsible for my assault. Speaking out about my assault empowers me to talk about my experience with confidence.

There are a variety of stories and experiences that are shared during the speak- out. Some may share stories or healing while others are still angry, sad, or scared. All of our stories and experiences are valid. And, no matter where you are at in your experience as a survivor (i.e. your assault happened 10 years ago or just last week), you’re welcomed to share your story. 

Women’s Center Student Staff Member Kayla Smith speaking to the crowd at TBTN 2016

If you’re thinking about speaking at Take Back the Night, feel free to reach out to Women’s Center staff ahead of time if you feel like it would be helpful to talk to someone ahead of time about your story and how you may want to share it. Of course, we know many survivors may not plan on speaking at TBTN and then feel called to do so once the speak-out begins and that’s okay!

It’s also totally okay if don’t feel ready to share your story at Take Back the Night – there’s many other ways you can share your story in less public ways throughout Sexual Assault Awareness Month (like making a t-shirt for the Clothesline Project or attending the Monument Quilt workshop) and Take Back the Night (counselors will be available throughout the event and there will be the self-care station). Survivors or anyone impacted by sexual violence can also always schedule a time to talk to Women’s Center staff – we’re quasi-confidential resources on campus and can link you to additional support and resources.

Here’s some helpful information about the speak-out we think is helpful for everyone to know whether they’re speaking or listening:

• Any one can be a survivor of sexual violence. Any survivor regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation is welcomed to share their story at the speak-out. 
• The survivor speak-out is intended to center the voices and experience of survivors of sexual violence. The speak-out is for allies to listen and survivors to break their silence. Thank you in advanced for respecting this request. Allies are also encouraged to attend the Women’s Center workshop on Supporting Survivors of Sexual Violence on 4/12.
• Since TBTN functions as a public forum, normal reporting procedures look a bit different. If you choose to share your story, and want to go no further in the reporting process, we encourage you not to disclose any names or other specific identifying information, such as locations or familial relationships, as those details may prompt staff to follow up with you for reporting matters. Staff are available at the event for those who do want additional resources and want to report their experience through UMBC’s Title IX reporting process or police.
• We ask that you try to limit your story to about 3 minutes. We know it may be hard to do so but we want to make sure as many survivors as possible can speak during the allotted speak out time which is one hour long.
• Speakers will have the option to identify their story as confidential by placing a sign marked “confidential” on the microphone. Speaking from the “confidential” microphone prohibits anyone from taking pictures, quotes, or recording of any kind.
• Counselors-On-Call will be available throughout the evening. Any one needing additional support or simply needs to take a break are invited to visit the self-care station that will be set up in the Commuter Lounge.

For more information about UMBC’s TBTN (check out Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter too by searching the hashtag #UMBCTBTN):

• Supporting Survivors of Sexual Violence Workshop information for faculty & staff and students.
• Speak: Knowing a Survivor Without Knowing Their Story – a blog post on cultivating a survivor-responsive campus.
• The Women’s Center 2016 TBTN roundup
• The Retriever Weekly photo gallery of TBTN
• Stop by the Women’s Center on April 11, 12, and 13th to make a rally sign for the march!
• Stop by the Clothesline Project on 4/6 on Main Street!

Stay tuned for the next installment of what you need to know about TBTN 2017! 

A weekly round-up curated by Women’s Center staff member, Michael Jalloh Jamboria

In the spirit of my friend, who gave us the glorious name ‘Slaying on the Weekly’, every week I will be bringing you some interesting, funny or thought-provoking content from the internet! Be sure to join us next week for more and continue to slay!

Thank you for joining us this past Women’s History Month! March may be over but the celebration never stops in the Women’s Center. Join us in celebrating women, their lives, their stories and their resistance.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.  “Every 107 seconds, someone in America is sexually assaulted. Approximately 4/5 of rapes are committed by someone known to the victim.  Survivors of sexual assault are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression.”  The Women’s Center is dedicated to programming centered around sexual assault awareness. Be sure to check out the Sexual Assault Awareness Month Calendar. 

Take Back the Night is coming up! Here’s what you need to know about Take Back the Night!!

There has been a lot of Twitter buzz about black and brown girls missing from DC and Baltimore. What’s that about? Learn more by checking out The Rise in Human Trafficking in the State of Maryland.

Wait!! Did you hear that 2020 US census won’t have questions related to sexual orientation nor gender identity? I did. Read more on this Huffington Post article.

What the Heck is the Clothesline Project?? Find out on Thursday April 6th from 10-4pm on Mainstreet. Can’t wait until then, be sure to check out the official Clothesline Project Website.  Starting Monday April 3rd, through April 6th, the Women’s Center will have Clothesline Project t-shirts available for survivors of sexual assault to participate in the Project. Just in case you needed the reminder, the Women’s Center will always serve as a home away from home for those who need a safe space to exist. We’ve got your back!

This month can be particularly triggering for survivors of sexual assault or violence. Stop by the Women’s Center if you need to chat and be sure to check out some of these resources related to self-care during Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

• Teen Vogue: 6 Self-Care Tips For Sexual Assault Survivors
• RAINN: Self-Care After Trauma
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline:  5 Powerful Self-Care Tips for Abuse and Trauma Survivors

Who ever you are, what ever your story, we are here to listen. We see you. You are home. You belong. You matter. See you next week!

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and the Women’s Center is hosting its 5th consecutive Take Back The Night (TBTN) on Thursday, April 13th. Over the years, we’ve had a lot of questions about what Take Back the Night exactly is, why it looks the way it does, and how students can get involved. To help get those questions answered this year, we’ve doing a “What You Need to Know” series focused on TBTN so stay tuned for more posts over the next couple of weeks. This first post in the series focuses on the history and purpose of TBTN.

The crowd waiting for UMBC’s TBTN 2014 to begin.

In 1971 in New York a group of women and survivors hosted the first-ever rape speak-out that was organized by the group the New York Radical Feminists. A few years later, one of the first “Take Back the Night” marches was held in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in October 1975.

Despite some advancements and more attention being paid to sexual violence, we still live in a society where over forty-five years later  there is still a need to speak out against rape and sexual assault. There is still a need to say, “It happened to me.” “I believe you.” “You are not alone.” “It is not your fault.” And, so this is why we host Take Back the Night each year at UMBC and why it still happens worldwide.

UMBC (from what we can tell from the archives), held their first TBTN event in the early 2000s for just a few years. Campus stopped hosting it for several years so as to be in solidarity with other area colleges by participating in Baltimore City Hall’s Take Back the Night. But, by 2013, it made the most sense for us to bring back our own Take Back the Night. So the Women’s Center with support from UHS’s Health Education, Greek Week, and a BreakingGround grant did just that. Since then, this campus-wide rally and march against sexual violence has been a signature Women’s Center event every April.

Each year the Women’s Center hosts survivor speak-out followed by a campus march against sexual assault. When marchers return, UMBC’s TBTN spends the rest of the evening doing “craftivism” art healing projects and hosting a community resource fair. A smaller version of the Clothesline Project is also serves as a backdrop to the evening’s events.

The survivor speak-out at UMBC’s TBTN 2016

Stay tuned for more posts explaining the significance of each portion of Take Back The Night!

The march against sexual violence at UMBC’s TBTN 2015

For more information about UMBC’s TBTN (check out Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter too by searching the hashtag #UMBCTBTN):

• A BreakingGround post about how the 2013 TBTN came to be – Our Own ‘Take Back the Night’
• Read a blog post written by a UMBC alum related to TBTN 2005 at UMBC.
• The Women’s Center 2016 TBTN roundup
• The Retriever Weekly photo gallery of TBTN
• The Women’s Center visual recap of TBTN 2015
• Stop by the Women’s Center on April 11, 12, and 13th to make a rally sign for the march!

Stay tuned for the next installment of what you need to know about TBTN 2017! 

This post was written by Farhan Augustine, a UMBC senior studying Biochemistry. In addition to his work at UMBC, Farhan advocates for the rights of human trafficking survivors and is actively involved in local efforts to create legislation that would protect survivors. 

Human sex and labor trafficking is a hideous violation of human rights that has been quietly growing in our communities for many years. According to some of the statistics, human trafficking is now the second highest grossing criminal enterprise across the world.

Although the awareness regarding human sex and labor trafficking appears to be growing, our state of Maryland remains a treasure-trove for human sex and labor trafficking. Maryland is a vital location because many of our highways, especially I-95, provide easy access to some of the most populated communities on the East Coast. Traffickers use many of our local highways to traverse between New York, Baltimore, Philadelphia, and Washington D.C. In fact, National Human Trafficking Hotline (NHTH) reports receiving 531 tips and registering 158 Human trafficking cases in Maryland in the year 2016. Further breakdown of the NHTH data indicates that 77% of the reported human trafficking cases involved sex trafficking, and 16% of the reported cases involved human labor trafficking. Moreover, Maryland’s Judiciary (Administrative Office of the Courts), the U.S. Department of Justice, and Department of Legislative Services advises that approximately 476 violations of Maryland’s Criminal Law, Article 11-303 (MD Criminal Law, Article 11- related to Human trafficking), were seen in District Courts and 256 violations were seen in the Circuit Courts.

Despite being so prevalent in Maryland, human trafficking remains hidden in plain sight. My main purpose in writing this article is to make you aware of human trafficking in Maryland in the hopes that you may become an active and informed member of our society.

Human Trafficking is More Than Sex Trafficking

Many people associate human trafficking with sexual exploitation; however, human trafficking has many different faces, and it plays a major role in dozens of businesses across Maryland. Labor exploitation is another facet of human trafficking. Maryland counts domestic labor, begging rings, traveling sales crews, agriculture and fish farming industries, health care industry, marriage and online dating, commercial brothels, hotel/motel brothels, and online escort services as hubs of human trafficking. As widespread as it is, human trafficking is often undetectable to the untrained eye. “Mail-order brides,” for example are illegal in Maryland under Criminal Law §11-303 and (HB#0276F) which describes “compelled marriage” as marriage in which a person knowingly takes money or uses fraud to compel the other person to marry another person. This crime is punishable with up to 25 years of imprisonment and/or a maximum fine of $15,000. A person who knowingly aids, abets, or benefits financially from such ventures or activities is also in violation of the state’s human trafficking laws, and is subject to the same penalties. Thus, human trafficking is more widespread than many people realize and spreading awareness is of utmost importance.

Furthermore, many people are maladroit in distinguishing between smuggling and trafficking. This in part is because of the widespread neo-abolitionist discourses adopted by almost all anti-trafficking efforts, movies, TV shows, and political activities which sets up widespread misrepresentation of victims of trafficking only as young and innocent women who are deceived and forced into the sex industry. The reality is something of a complicated nature and is often perverse for policy and law making purposes. For example, it is true that many women that are trafficked for sex and labor are often forced into such acts. However, the unauthorized international migration, often initiated by women themselves to ameliorate their lives and families, positions them as isolated and distinct victims of emotional, physical, and sexual exploitation that is almost unprecedented and often under reported by victims due to fears of retaliation from the law enforcement agencies. Thus, a simple definition of a trafficking victim that suffers at the hands of individual men: traffickers, clients, and buyers, needs to be broadened to form holistic anti-trafficking policies and laws that do no assume or correlate trafficking with only sex work. The problem with the popular view of “human trafficking = sex work” is that it relies on the construction of human trafficking based on gender stereotypes and denies men and women’s agency by focusing exclusively on sexual exploitation of women that makes other types of labor exploitation almost invisible. Instead it reinforces the patriarchal discourse that all “sex workers” must necessarily be “passive victims” that need paternal protection, and it establishes a single framework for victimhood that most of the exploited undocumented migrant victims cannot meet in the court of law. Thus, it is important to be aware and create laws and policies to distinguish between people that intentional engage in sex work purely for their own economic gains, and separate those from the people who are forced and coerced into modern day sex-slavery.  

Maryland’s Legislation and Anti-Human Trafficking Efforts

Maryland, compared to some other states like Florida, New York, and California, does not have a comprehensive human trafficking legislation. To give you some background regarding the Human trafficking laws in Maryland, I have chosen to present you with information which (I believe) every responsible citizen of the State should be aware of. (Click the hyperlinks if you require further comprehension of Criminal Law Article-11). MD Code, Criminal Law, §11-303, as repealed and reenacted in October 2010, provided the following major provisions to the Criminal Law Article.

1.  § 11-303(a)(1)(v) of the Criminal Law Article “A person may not knowingly: engage in a device, scheme, or continuing course of conduct intended to cause another to believe that if the other did not take part in a sexually explicit performance, the other or a third person would suffer physical restraint or serious physical harm.”  
2. § 11-303(b)(2) of the Criminal Law Article “A person may not knowingly take or detain another with the intent to use force, threat, coercion, or fraud to compel the other to marry the person or a third person or perform a sexual act, sexual contact, or vaginal intercourse.” Separate from Criminal Law, the MD Code- Transportation- §8-655, requires the rest area restrooms and businesses to post National Human Trafficking Resource Center Hotline information signs.
3. §11-303(f), provide that a person charged with Human trafficking of a minor may not assert a defense by claiming to not have known the age of the victim.
4. As of January 23, 2017, the Maryland General Assembly has passed House Bill #0276 which extends the statute of limitations to 10 years, applicable to civil actions related to Human trafficking.

Maryland’s Human trafficking Laws are slowly becoming more comprehensive, nonetheless, without more community involvement our State’s legislature will continue overlooking Human Rights Violations associated with human trafficking.

Community Safety and Involvement

As stated previously, much of our community is unaware of the expansive foothold that human trafficking is establishing in our communities. Maryland, in 2007, established the Maryland Human Trafficking Task Force (MHTTF) under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Attorney’s Office, the Attorney General of Maryland, and the State’s Attorney for Baltimore City to investigate, prosecute, and serve the victims of human trafficking in our state. MHTTF has been subcategorized based on the region it serves. See the resource section for the list of local Task Forces. Since January 2013, the local task forces and federal law enforcement partners (FBI, Dept. of Homeland Security, etc..) have identified ≥ 200 victims of trafficking and have prosecuted 94 human traffickers. The men and women of MHTTF do great fieldwork and deserve our gratitude for making our communities safer.

However, the infrastructure to support MHTTF is still in the infancy stage. The state and federal funding to establish facilities that can provide crisis services to victims and survivors, and to serve as community outreach centers for training, research, and development is lacking significantly. It is paramount to provide training to first responders, public universities, school teachers, and to health care professionals that can confidentially screen potential victims of Human trafficking.

My principles spare me no excuse, for the same freedoms, which I enjoy so much, should also be accessible for every person regardless of their race, ethnicity, immigration status, or age. Most of my December and January months were spent studying Maryland’s Constitution and Criminal Law, Article-11. I was writing emails and making phone calls to anyone I though could help in making my voice heard at the state or the federal legislature. My singular voice in the ether of bureaucracy was praying for a change to occur. Thanks to the efforts of so many people who had the same conviction as me, the change has begun to happen. On January 23, 2017, the Human Trafficking – Civil Actions – Statue of Limitations (HB#0276) was first read and passed in the Maryland’s General Assembly. Its purpose was to extend the Statue of Limitations related to Human trafficking, effective October 1, 2017. Which means, if a plaintiff who were a minor at the time the statute of limitations began to accrue, he/she would now have 10 years to file a civil cause of action in Maryland. Furthermore, a new federal bill has been proposed in the House of Representatives in January, “Trafficking Survivors Relief Act of 2017.” This new bill is spearheading the efforts to decriminalize certain non-violent convictions and arrest records of Human trafficking victims. Many of our young adults and runaway foster-care children become victims of human trafficking. [They are pushed into a lifestyle that they did not choose and often violently exploited.] It is heartbreaking for me to acknowledge that instead of providing safety, protection, and guidance to people, our laws assign a criminal status to those who are victims of Human trafficking.

Thus, I implore you to partake in the process of bringing freedom, liberty, and happiness to victims of Human trafficking, and help to lessen their suffering. One of the easiest ways you can help is by holding your public officials accountable. Public pressures and public awareness is the key to getting our legislatures to recognize and change the laws which protect and safeguard our communities against Human traffickers. Together we can bring change in our communities. I am providing you with two links to the National Human Trafficking Resource Center’s petition forms. Please consider signing the petitions to protect the victims of Human trafficking, and please help them get their freedom back.

1). Petition for the reauthorization of Trafficking Victim’s Protection Act: http://act.polarisproject.org/p/dia/action3/common/public/?action_KEY=23990

2). Trafficking Survivor’s Relief Act http://act.polarisproject.org/p/dia/action3/common/public/?action_KEY=23688

Additional Resources:

Maryland’s Human Trafficking Task Forces: http://www.mdhumantrafficking.org/mhttf

• Eastern Shore Human Trafficking Task Force,

• Howard County Human Trafficking Task Force,

• Prince George’s County Human Trafficking Task Force,

• Montgomery County Human Trafficking Task Force.

NGOs and Other Local Agencies: http://www.mdhumantrafficking.org/partners

Maybe you’ve heard of a feminist click moment, but do you remember what your queer click moment was? Kayla Smith, Women’s Center student staff member, collected queer click moment stories for the blog. Thanks to those who contributed!

That moment when the lightbulb went off in your head and a little (or loud) voice said “Holy crap! I’m not straight!”

Maybe you had a “girl crush” on a classmate? Or found yourself getting REALLY into L Word? The Women’s Center staff and community members share their queer click Moments!

Bi AND badass. Thanks Callie!

“When I was 19, I was completely infatuated with my Women’s Studies professor. She was
brilliant and beautiful, and I worked so hard in that class to try to impress her. I soon realized that it wasn’t a “girl crush” – it was an actual crush.” – Megan Tagle Adams, Women’s Center Assistant Director

First Shira, and then Willow. Everyone is gay

“I was in middle school, sitting next to this person who had identified as a lesbian at the time. I remember daydreaming in math, and suddenly an image of us married to each other, laying in bed and cuddling ( super scandalous for a 12 year- old, I know!). I quickly repressed that thought and never seriously revisited my queerness until college – though I still had a crush on this person all the way through High School.” – Shira Devora, Women’s Center student staff member

Shane putting the connections together!

“The moment is so vivid for me. At 24 years old, I was alone in my apartment watching L Word on DVD for the first time. I remember sitting on this green couch and feeling totally excited by what was happening on my tv (women hooking up with women – gasp!) followed by this realization that the stereotypes fed to me of what and who lesbians were was totally wrong. In that moment, my world opened up to the possibility there was another way of being for me… the rest, my friends, is history. This late bloomer, thanks you, L Word.” – Jess Myers, Women’s Center Director

“When I was a child, my favorite movie was The Sound of Music. My queer click moment, was when I saw Liesel (you know, ’16 going on 17′) do her musical number with Rolph (the bad guy who later ends up being a Nazi)! I wanted to be Rolph (but not a bad guy). Wow, this is embarrassing!” – Michael Jalloh-Jamboria, Women’s Center Student Staff member

Liesel seducing a young Michael.

Look at her cute gay overalls.

“I used to watch Power Rangers at my cousins house when I was little and I found myself really drawn to the Pink Ranger – Kimberly. I really liked Trini, the yellow ranger, and I knew I wanted to BE the yellow ranger….but something about the pink ranger and her little skirt? Yep. Definitely a queer.” – Kayla Smith, Women’s Center Student Staff member

“A friend of mine sent me a cool looking picture of a fantasy theme featuring a particularly attractive girl. We got into a conversation about female aesthetics which led to a rather non-PG13 discussion resulting in my friend telling me “you know that means you’re at least bi, right?”. My response was, “Wait what? Nooo…. wait. Hold on… huh. Aaaactually? THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!” Click.” – Anonymous

“I slowly started realizing I was bisexual late freshman year. I had just gotten a tumblr, and one of the first blogs I followed was literally just selfies of “androgynous girls” (just gals admiring gals, right?) It finally hit me sophomore year when I got really into the band Halestorm. Their singer’s leather pants, her bright red lipstick… it was all too much for my baby bi heart.” – Anonymous

“I suspected I was rainbow-tinged from an early age. When I was 5, I kissed a girl in kindergarten and thought it was gross (because let’s face it, out of context, kissing is weird). But when I went into elementary school and then middle school, all of my best friends were girls and I thought they were the most beautiful people ever. I would seriously stare at them in disbelief that people so beautiful could ever exist. Ladies were like otherworldly goddesses to me, a small unworthy frog-girl. Meanwhile, I was also heavily interested in the idea of Jesse Bradford (specifically as Cliff in Bring it On) putting his smirk on my face. I didn’t really put all the pieces together of being queer, until I kissed a girl and I liked it. And then I kissed a boy and I liked that, too.” – Amelia Meman, Women’s Center Special Projects Coordinator

Do you remember what your queer click moment was? Join us at Between Women on Thursdays (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ bi-weekly in the Women’s Center lounge. Between Women is a discussion-based program that centers the experiences of women students who identify themselves on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.

We can’t wait to see you in the center!

A weekly round-up curated by Women’s Center staff member, Michael Jalloh Jamboria

In the spirit of my friend, who gave us the glorious name ‘Slaying on the Weekly’, every week I will be bringing you some interesting, funny or thought-provoking content from the internet! Be sure to join us next week for more and continue to slay!

Happy Women’s History Month! Join us in celebrating women, their lives, their stories and their resistance.

• Be sure to check out the Women’s Center’s Women’s History Calendar. There are great events and opportunities this month! Hope to see you some of the events!
• In case you needed it, this is your weekly reminder to stay on top of politics, question everything and resist. It’s difficult but your work helps us create a better future. Take a break from the TV and check out What the F*** Just Happened Today?, a chronicle of policy and decisions being made through the current presidency.
• Last week, Trump Signs New Order Blocking Arrivals From 6 Majority-Muslim Countries. Be sure to stay up to date on the issues revolving around this order which went into effect yesterday, March 16th. You can read about UMBC’s response here. (as an FYI, archived messages from the President and Provost of UMBC related to diversity and inclusion can be found on this page)
• UN Says World Faces Largest Humanitarian Crisis Since 1945. If you’re anything like me, you’re wonder what we can do about it. Here is a short list of things we can do. 
• Students at UCLA are trying to expand their school’s sanctuary campus policy to include queer, black and undocumented students. Check that out!! 
• Have you read Daniel Willey’s post, What Happened to the “Working” in International Working Women’s Day? yet? Check out this amazing read!
• Let’s talk about privilege! Here are 25+ Examples of Western Privilege. How can we start to unlearn them? Come on into the Women’s Center to chat!!

Provost Philip Rous and Vice Provost Simon Stacy came to the Women’s Center to pay us a visit!

Enjoy your Spring Break! See you in two weeks! Same place, same time! Stay safe and continue to slay! Happy Women’s History Month!

A reflection by Women’s center staff member, Kayla Smith.

Full disclosure: I’m a Beyonce stan. I support pretty much everything she does. There are very few things Beyonce can do that I wouldn’t damn near worship. Needless to say when she released pictures from her maternity shoot I was ready to bow down.

Beyonce’s pregnancy announcement on Instagram

I scrolled through her website looking at all the maternity pictures in awe. The symbolism of a black woman evoking the Virgin Mary and the goddess Venus was not lost on me as I looked through the pictures feeling overjoyed for her and hopeful for my own future. She looked regal and glowed  with pride. This pregnancy announcement was radically different from her first, and was shrouded in much less mystery. I was reminded that in 2015 Beyonce suffered a miscarriage and I was so happy that she could announce another pregnancy with confidence. I even lamented to my boyfriend hoping that I would be as beautiful as Beyonce whenever I decide to have kids.

Beyonce as the Goddess Venus, pictured with a bust of Nefertiti.

To my surprise, outside of the BeyHive bubble, not everyone responded to the maternity shoot in the same way I did. Comment threads are filled with comments that call the maternity shoot “tacky,” “extra,” and “self absorbed.” Articles were written criticizing not just the image, but Beyonce and the announcement itself.

I can understand criticism, and I’m sure Bey can handle it. But one article in particular really felt like something was off. The author calls the Instragram picture “a brave woman who has the optimism to kneel down in front of a million flowers, get their wedding veil back on again, and know that bar the bump, the rest of their body is in perfect condition. People, this is not what pregnancy looks like.” A stranger, telling the public that Beyonce’s actual pregnancy isn’t what a pregnancy looks like. The author invalidates the actual pregnant woman, who is controlling her exposure and the narrative surrounding her pregnancy, by saying that, because it doesn’t look the way she expects pregnancy to look, it isn’t valid. In the days following the announcement I found myself falling down the rabbit hole of reading more and more articles criticizing Beyonce and her announcement. My excitement for her began to fade, and I wondered if maybe she should have avoided the criticism all together by being less flashy, or less “extra.”

Beyonce being pregnant on a car. I’m not sure why, but I’m here for it.

I started to think about women who hide their pregnancies in order to avoid backlash from their employers and peers and the expectations thrust onto women about the proper way to compose themselves during their pregnancies and once they become mothers. In 2016, when Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie gave birth to her child, she didn’t tell anyone when she was pregnant because she didn’t want to “perform pregnancy.” She’s quoted saying, “I just feel like we live in an age when women are supposed to perform pregnancy. We don’t expect fathers to perform fatherhood. I went into hiding. I wanted it to be as personal as possible.” Knowles-Carter and Adichie are both controlling the narrative around how much access the public has to their pregnancies.

I know I’m not nearly as famous as Beyonce or Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie so I’m probably not going to have any articles written about me whenever I get pregnant, but I will still be a black woman carrying a child in a society where people feel entitled to comment on a woman’s appearance and police how she carries herself. Black women are not only harshly criticized for their appearance, we are also subjected to racist perceptions around black pregnancy. There is the assumption that black women are someone’s “baby mama” or that the pregnancy was an accident. Black women are not afforded the same respect as other women when they decide to bear children.

Beyonce and her first child Blue.

I still have a lot of life to live before I have children, but in the digital age I wonder about what my own pregnancy announcement will look like, if I have one at all. Would I be willing to weather the storm of criticisms thrown at me or would I be more private? I often wonder what kind of mom I will be on social media. Will I be Beyonce, performing pregnancy from the day of my pregnancy announcement to the child’s birth or will I be Adichie, and keep the public away from the very personal and miraculous process that is pregnancy?

Two years ago, when I decided I wanted to have kids one day, I fantasized about telling anyone who would listen about my pregnancy; however, after seeing the backlash women of color face online it’s easy to understand why it would be tempting to keep a pregnancy quiet altogether.

Beyonce being flawless during her Grammy’s performance.

This is where I come back to Beyonce. Instead of covering her pregnant belly up when she performed at the Grammys, she evoked the image of a Nigerian fertility goddess. She performed covered in gold and jewels, literally beaming like the sun. She took every criticism about being over the top and threw it all right back at her critics.

Women of color are already told how to act, how to sound, how to dress, and how to treat other people;however, like Beyonce, I refuse to let society tell me how to carry a child.