A blog reflection written by Women’s Center student staff member, Carrie Cleveland

For the past ten years I have not had a paying job.  For the past ten years I have been home raising children.  For the past ten years my boss (or bosses) were little people who required me to tend to their every need. That is not a job where anyone gives you money.  There are performance reviews, bonuses, deadlines, and a ton of stress, but no monetary paycheck.

This week I started my first paying job in ten years.  I am the newest student staff member at the Women’s Center.  I am helping to program the Peer Connections Program for Returning Women Students for the next academic year.  Day one was perfect.  I was here on time, got my work done and went home without any drama.  Day two, well that is a different story.

Two hours into my five hour shift I got a phone call from my daughter’s school.  Luckily my husband was home so he could handle the situation, but he seems to forget that I am a work.  I am here to do a job and I am not available to answer every question immediately.  Now, I am not a globe-trotting mechanical engineer like he is, but this is a job and something that means a great deal to me.  So, after a quick little vent to my supervisor, Jess, I realize I may need to set some limits with him.

As I enter the world of a working person again, this means that some things in my home life will change.  I feel like it is a good build up to when I have a full time job as a social worker in a couple of years.  I also think it is great that my three daughters see that mom can do things that are important to her and that my life does not completely revolve around their lives.  So here I am.  A working mom.  Not a title I ever envisioned for myself, but I kinda dig it.

Meet Isabel – the founder of the UMBC Reach Initiative.

This is a guest post written by UMBC rising junior, Isabel Geisler, who is leading the charge for a new initiative on campus called The Reach Initiative.

When I was 4 or 5 years old, I wanted to be an Astronaut. Mostly, because it was the closest career to being a Jedi, but I also loved space, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and theoretical physics.

I remember one night when I was young my sister and I were waiting for our mother to come home from work.  We were excited because on that night, Nova was doing a special on Quantum Physics. There was one part I remember specifically, where the host is pushing up against a wall and telling the audience how theoretically, if he pushed against the wall long enough for thousands and thousands of years there is a chance that he could just push his arm though the solid wall.

This is obviously a gross over-simplification…but for a 5 year old, this was the closest I could get to magic.

“Quantum Physics: The Fabric of the Cosmos” you can still look up the show today, I even found out that the entire episode is actually from a book by Brian Greene. Last winter, I saw it in a used bookstore, but didn’t buy it because I didn’t think I’d understand it. I don’t know when and why specifically I lost interest in pursuing physics, but I’m guessing it started when I got my first ‘B’ in math and I hate to psychoanalyze myself…but this is how it starts off and ends for many young women who were previously interested in the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering & Math) fields.

When we look at the STEM fields and look at the proportion of women and men who are pursuing degrees you will find that the majority are men. When speaking of primary education, boys are 6 times more likely than girls to have taken engineering. When speaking of college, the gap gets wider. Despite the fact that roughly 58% of all college students are women, in a computer science class men will outnumber women at a ratio of 8:2. When speaking of professional careers, on average, men will hold about 76% of all STEM jobs. These percentages are reflected across the US –including UMBC- and this does not even begin to include the gaps between Women of Color and their representation in the fields.

The STEM pipeline is the term used to describe this phenomenon. At every gap in this pipeline, for example, elementary school to middle school, we see women dropping out of STEM. Many assert that this is simply because women are not interested in a career that is famous for being unsociable and sterile. This is the wrong assumption.  If we were to look at the experiences of many women in STEM, we would find an ongoing trend of implicit bias, discrimination, and a lack of institutional support. The gross underrepresentation of women in the STEM fields is not only unfair, but it is dangerous.  How can our society expect to be innovative when 50% of our intellectual power is missing from the STEM workforce? 

There have been many successful programs that aim to get women interested in STEM, but very few of them acknowledge the inherent bias in the STEM fields that many women struggle with. In the program that I am leading at UMBC, the UMBC Reach Initiative we do not simply want to encourage young women to enter into the STEM fields, we want to retain them. We want to create a network in a world where sometimes that network is non-existent.

For more on the UMBC Reach Initiative, visit their Facebook page!

The Reach Initiative is a yearlong program mentorship and research program for high school women who are interested in entering the STEM fields based on the research by the American Association for University Women, Girls Scouts, and several independent organizations funded by the National Science Foundation.  In our first semester, we will provide our scholars a chance to explore the STEM fields, but we have also infused gender empowerment into the curriculum, with varying topics from combatting micro-aggressions to consent. During the second semester, the young women in our program will work with her UMBC mentor to create a research project that they can enter into science fairs and that they will present to their peers, families, and UMBC faculty at an end-of-the-year banquet.

We are currently looking for mentors for the young women who have decided to be a part of the program. If you are a passionate women attending UMBC who is pursuing a degree in the STEM fields or Environmental Science you can find the application here and a link to our FaceBook page here if you would like to learn more.

If you find yourself unable to apply as a mentor because you are not pursuing a STEM degree, do not have the time to commit, or are a female student please contact me at my e-mail (geisler3 at umbc dot edu) to learn more about how you can contribute or act as a leader as we pursue this project.

We are proud to announce that the annual Critical Social Justice week will be moving to fall semester. We’ll see you Monday October 19th through Friday October 23rd, 2015! Save the date!

On behalf of the The Reach Initiative, the Women's Center is excited to share this opportunity!! Read on!

The Reach Initiative is a mentorship research program for high school women  who are interested in entering into the STEM fields. Our team is currently looking for a diverse range of majors and people to serve on our planning committees and mentors to work directly with our young women.

 The Reach Initiative is currently looking for women who are pursuing degrees in the STEM field or Environmental Science and who exhibit a passion and commitment to gender empowerment, the maths and sciences, and diversity. Mentors will volunteer Saturdays for 3 hours a week on campus with the possibility of receiving credit through the Honors College and/or Shriver Center.

Beginning on Tuesday, May 26th, the Women's Center will operate with the following hours:

Today I’d like to talk about “Devil’s Advocates.”

This is the person who is often situated in a place of both privilege and ignorance, but simultaneously has the confidence to suggest simplistic, often black-and-white, solutions and questions for an often complex and multifaceted issue.

As an activist, woman of color, undocumented immigrant, and survivor of violence, I have encountered my fair share of devil’s advocates to the very issues that impact my life daily.

“The Sake of Argument” xkcd web comic [xkcd.com/1432]

So how does this differ from people who play “devil’s advocates”?

I first look to an article written by Juliana Britto Schwartz called “An open letter to privileged people who play Devil’s Advocates”  in which she articulates the potential harm in using this strategy: “These discussions may feel like ‘playing’ to you, but to many people in the room, it’s their lives you are ‘playing’ with. The reason it feels like a game to you is because these are issues that probably do not directly affect you… You can attach puppet strings to dialogues about real issues because at the end of the day, you can walk away from the tangled mess you’ve exacerbated.”

Often, devil’s advocates (or DA’s) aren’t open to engaging in a real dialogue because they are so committed to proving that they’re right… so they’re unwilling to listen, learn, and potentially change their opinions. DA’s don’t want to learn from a discussion — they want to win a debate.

Interestingly, a devil’s advocate isn’t even necessarily trying to prove that their position is correct; in fact, quite often they don’t even necessarily believe in the position they’re arguing! DA’s might argue a devil’s advocate position not to prove themselves right, but rather to prove someone else wrong– they’re not arguing for their position so much as they’re arguing against yours. So the difference between someone who engages in conversation in good faith versus a devil’s advocate is that for a DA the conversation is an impersonal and abstract intellectual exercise, whereas for people actually impacted by these issues it’s very personal and significant.

Like Britto Schwartz describes, it can be incredibly hurtful, damaging, and insensitive to approach a conversation with a person about a painful experience with an “objective” viewpoint and expect the person to do the same. You might hear comments like, “Don’t be so sensitive…”, and “But I heard that…*insert story about the exception to your point here*”

This is where the idea of “objectivity” as “truth” comes into conflict. I’d like to challenge this idea of “objectivity” and the misguided assumption that someone who has not had a personal experience or investment in an issue is necessarily better able to understand it and is thus more equipped to provide critical perspective and solutions. I, along with many of my friends, particularly women of color, have often expressed our frustration with this idea of “objectivity” as truth.

Why is it that an issue or experience can miraculously become relevant and worth listening to when someone who is not directly impacted talks about the issue? It’s as if people are more willing to listen to and empathize with someone who they feel is not “too involved” or a “direct survivor” of an experience because it is more comfortable.

As I was working on my senior capstone, I came across an insightful and informative research report called, “American Perceptions of Sexual Violence” from the FrameWorks Institute. The goal of the research was to figure out some of the effective ways of communicating what constitutes sexual violence and what can be done to address this in the United States. The study measured both experts’ and the public’s perceptions about sexual violence and showed the discrepancy between experts, who looked to larger social and cultural patterns to explain why sexual violence is pervasive, and the public, who often saw sexual violence as a problem that rested within the minds, hearts, and actions of particular individuals. Interestingly, one of the main thought models that the public most often used is similar to what I have often seen used by devil’s advocates.” This thought model is called the Mentalist Model. 

“According to the mentalist model, Americans tend to view outcomes and social problems as a result of individual concerns that reflect character, motivation and personal discipline. As such, the use of mentalist models by the public has a narrowing effect—it boils complex interactions among individuals, contextual determinants and systems down to either the presence or absence of individual motivation and internal fortitude.

Sexual violence continues to be perceived as a problem solely and fundamentally created by individual moral failings on the part of the perpetrator and, on the part of the victim, the lack of responsibility to ensure one’s safety (often seen in Victim-Blaming).” (4)

While this research was focused on attitudes toward sexual violence, I find it incredibly relevant to many other social issues in our society. For example, in discussions about unemployment, a DA can be heard dismissing or ignoring the importance of systemic inequality, generational poverty, and racial discrimination by reducing the problem to “laziness.” Or talking about how “illegal” immigrants are taking “hardworking Americans'” jobs, when undocumented workers are not even eligible for the jobs that DA’s allege they’re “taking.” How people of color need to “get over it” and “stop talking about race” because we live in a “post-racial” society in which racism no longer exists and everyone has equal opportunity for success (also meaning that any disadvantage is, again, caused by the control and decisions of the individual). And of course, when we talk about sexual assault and gender-based violence and the DA references how one woman lied about her rape, thus reinforcing the idea that women are vindictive, untrustworthy, and constantly “crying rape,” or the popular favorite: “Not ALL Men…”

When we are faced with challenging discussions about social issues, particularly those that we have not experienced, it is so important to take a step back, consider the larger perspective, and listen to the members of the community who actually experience the issues that we might only talk about in the comfort of our homes and schools. Playing devil’s advocate to someone’s life experience by spurting out counter statistics and black-and-white solutions can be both isolating and damaging. It is important that we all check our privilege, recognize and acknowledge when we do not know things, and make clear our intentions when we engage in critical dialogues.

The path to social change requires community and solidarity. In order for solidarity to develop, we must practice listening to and talking with— rather than talking at. We are not all going to see eye-to-eye on everything, but by taking the first step to solidarity, I believe we can get a lot more done together.

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Here are some helpful videos to check out!

• “Just stop talking about race” – Chescaleigh
• “Five tips for being an Ally“- Chescaleigh
• “Not All Men: How discussing women’s issues get derailed” – Slate
• “Debunking the ‘Pull Yourself Up by Your Bootstraps’ Myth”– Everyday Feminism
• “5 Questions to Help you know when to pick your battles in controversial conversations” – Everyday Feminism

UMBC, in partnership with the YMCA of Central Maryland, is excited to announce the re-opening of the Y Preschool at UMBC, effective September 1, 2015. The UMBC Preschool offers quality instruction to children 2-5 years of age and provides development opportunities for young children to:

• Learn through imaginative play
• Develop cognitive and physical health
• Be independent and self-confident
• Become enthusiastic, inquisitive learners
• Develop character

The program also offers opportunities for UMBC students to work with the Y Center Staff to gain experience working at the Preschool in areas such as music, theater, geography, and STEM. The Y is looking to collaborate with other areas for academic research, internships, and direct learning.

Early Bird registration for UMBC faculty, staff, and students is May 1 – May 31, 2015. There are a limited number of enrollment spots available, so please register early to ensure you are able to take advantage of this opportunity.

In person registration is required. To schedule your in-person registration appointment, contact Betty Sterner at 410-747-4951. Please note, the $85 non-refundable registration fee will be applied to the first week's tuition.

Valerie A. Thomas, Associate Vice President of Human Resources

UMBC Women Who Rock is a blog series I’m working on throughout the 2014-15 academic year. In my role as Women’s Center director, I have some of the best opportunities to become acquainted with some of UMBC’s best and brightest women on campus. I admire the ways they live authentic lives unapologetically that challenge the stereotypes and assumptions that are often assigned to women. By debunking these stereotypes and forcing us to check our assumptions, they allow us to expand our notion of what a woman is and can be.

-Jess

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UMBC Women Who Rock!
Ashley Sweet, GWST & Social Work double-major & Returning Women Student Scholar

When I was in second grade my mother graduated from Essex Community College (now CCBC). I vividly remember her graduation day. The special occasion provided me the opportunity to wear my first communion dress again. We sat in the make-shift auditorium of the gym waiting and waiting for my mom’s name to be called. I’m not sure if I connected her studying and note taking throughout my childhood to this special day. Though I remember her watching her classes broadcast through local TV on Saturday mornings while she folded the laundry, I’m also not sure if I correlated those memories to her graduation day. But, finally hearing her name called on that hot day in that gym with tons of people was like music to my ears. My mom was special. She was somebody special enough to have their name read out loud in a crowd.

Richie and Benny trying on mom’s graduation flare in preparation for the big day!

I can only imagine the way Richie and Benny will feel when they hear their mom’s name called from that very impressive stage from inside the downtown arena on May 21st. When they hear “Ashley Sweet, summa cum laude,” I am certain their ears will perk up. They’ll smile and wave and know in their heart of hearts that their mom is someone special.

And she so very much is.

In her three years at UMBC, Ashley has maintained a 4.0 GPA. 4.0 folks! She was one of the leaders of Women Involved in Learning and Leadership which led her to projects like acting in and directing Vagina Monologues, advocating for pay equity, and working to end street harassment (i.e. she’s also a bad ass feminist). She spearheaded a “Prove It” proposal that would have provided drop-in childcare at select campus events. She completed hundreds of hours at her social work field placement and is now working to complete her GWST capstone project about birth stories and experiential knowledge. She spoke at the Women’s Center Healthy Masculinity event about her experience raising boys and ensuring their masculinity isn’t confined to societal norms and expectations. She is a Returning Women Student Scholar and has received additional awards throughout her time at UMBC. She attended conferences like the National Conference for College Women Student Leaders and the National Young Feminist Leadership Conference while forming important and meaningful friendships and mentors. Did I mention that she’s raising 2 young boys while doing all of this as well?!

Ashley #Feminist365

With these accomplishments under her belt, it’s hard to imagine Ashley ever feeling (or still feeling) out of place at UMBC. But in fact, as we talked in my office a few weeks ago to help me prepare for this post, Ashley shared the memory of having a great deal of remorse coming to UMBC. She regretted not going to college right away when she could have so when she got to UMBC she thought she’d be all business. She would just go to classes, keep her head down, and get her degree. No fun. No extras. Just the degree. Moreover, Ashley was really conscious of being the “older” student. She said, “I felt that I was interfering with these kids in the midst of college life and now they had to deal with this adult in their class talking about children.” At some point within her first year, though, Ashley finally felt like she wanted to make a point to matter. Make a point to matter. Ashley began bridging her worlds to fill in the gap between when she was on campus and when she left campus. Her kids, Richie and Benny (as well as her husband, Thomas) would come to campus with her. Ashley notes that the bridging of her worlds helped her classmates and others on campus (like me!) see what this abstract idea of what a returning women student parent really looks like. Just as importantly, it’s helped her kids see college as an aspiration. Indeed, they are some of UMBC’s youngest Retrievers.

This doesn’t mean that everything was easy and perfect. We know that’s not how the story goes for any student, let alone a student who is traversing a campus culture that was not originally intended to support non-traditional students. As Ashley and I were talking, I commented on my desire to see more staff and faculty make space for children in their classroom and on campus. I expected her to readily agree with me but she didn’t. “I get why professors are hesitant to have children in the classroom,” she said, “I’m hesitant too.” She then reflected about a recent experience in which she was without a babysitter during a class time she simply couldn’t miss. So her youngest, Benny came with her. While he was well-behaved, Ashley commented on the stress it induced. She said he “wasn’t being bad but he was being three.” Despite accommodating classmates and a supportive professor, Ashley still classified herself as “abnormal” because suddenly “class revolves around me and even though it’s not really a big deal… but it’s a lot of weight to carry around on my shoulders.”

The littlest Retrievers making their way through campus!

In the student affairs world, we toss around the phrase “student first” often. In the Women’s Center we shift schedules to accommodate busy test times and paper writing with great willingness because our student staff are, of course, students first. As someone who isn’t a mother, I’m making the assumption that this phrase can also be applied to motherhood. Perhaps it’s my selfish expectation that as a child I want my mom to always be a “mother first” because it’s comforting to me. It is Ashley, and other student parents, who have challenged this assumption and expectation within me. It’s not about being “student first” or “mother first,” but both—and. Ashley is mother, wife, and student (and friend and daughter and sister and…and and…) all at the same time. Ashley said it best, in fact, when I asked her what she believes she contributed to the UMBC community with the response of “I’ve given them insight into a parallel life people lead.” Because Ashley doesn’t get to pick “student first” or “mother first.” She is both and it’s our decision as a UMBC community to indeed allow and support her (and others like her) to be both. To steal the concept from Sheryl Sandberg, we all need to do our part to lean in when respecting and supporting the full and complete lives of student parents.

After my first year working at UMBC, I remember reflecting on the mothers I met and the way they navigated the complexities of motherhood, employee, and student without choosing the either – or but the both – and. Through their challenges and triumphs, I saw my mother in a whole new light. I appreciated her as a complex being that humbled my core. She is, and always will be, my mother, but, she is also somebody.

When I hear Ashley’s name at graduation, I will smile and know she is special. Not only because she is an adult learner. Not only because she is a mother. But because she is all of that and more. She is somebody. She is a somebody who has come into her own and discovered who she is (which is awesome) during her time at UMBC while helping others on their own journey to self-discovery and learning. And that’s why she’s a UMBC Women Who Rocks!

Happy Mother’s Day AND Graduation Ashley!

Ashley and other GWST and Willsters from the Class of 2015.

Who are the UMBC women in your life that inspire you to think outside your expectations and assumptions? What are the counter narrative stories they’re sharing with us allowing UMBC and our greater community to be more of exactly who we want to be? Comment below and maybe you’ll just find them featured in a future UMBC Women Who Rock post.

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Check out other UMBC Women Who Rock:

Amanda Knapp (featured August 2014)
Susan Dumont (featured October 2014)
Jahia Knobloch (featured January 2015)
A Reflection on Encouragement and Accountability (February 2015)
Amelia Meman (March 2015)