Review the attached charts to learn more. If you are interested in participating this spring, set up a time immediately to meet with a Service-Learning Staff. All volunteers would be enrolled in The Shriver Center's 096 Community Service & Learning Practicum (zero credit, pass/fail transcript notation). The deadline is this Friday, March 1st!
Call (410) 455-2493 to set an appointment today!
There are a lot of myths surrounding the state of mind known as "happiness." Here's how you can break them down and start on your own path.
Two months ago a new client entered my office for her first coaching session. "All I want is to feel happy," she said. "I'm miserable and I focus on that misery all day long."
It seemed like a fairly simple request, so we went to work.
Week after week I witnessed the smile on my client's face becoming more consistent, more authentic. Soon she began talking about the laughter and pleasant activities that now fill her days. So I asked whether she thought that we had achieved her happiness goal. I was surprised when she said "no."
What I learned is that this vibrant woman believed that in order to characterize herself as happy she could never feel sad. To her, sadness and other unpleasant feelings are not allowed in the life of someone who defines themselves as a happy person. But that is not what the human experience is actually about.
Remember, life doles out the knocks. And if we don't allow a natural progression of the resulting unpleasant feelings we will never fully experience and embrace the joy in life. That's right; where there is black, there is white, it's just how nature works. There are two complementary forces that make up all aspects of life and we must allow and accept their balance.
This is the understanding that my client was missing.
And it begs the question: Happiness--what is it, really?
In simplest form, happiness is a state of being. Sure, our circumstances influence the level of happiness we can access, but happiness is within us, not around us. We all have it, but we each define it differently and have varying expectations of ourselves and our own abilities to be happy. And that is what causes the confusion.
It's perfectly OK to have moments or days of feeling bad, rather than good. Heck, it's necessary. When we resist the feelings that we categorize as unpleasant, it simply causes more resistance, leading to greater unhappiness. Let's debunk the happiness myth. These steps might just help you develop a healthy--and, dare I say, happy--life balance.
1. Build a solid foundation.
Martin Seligman is one of the leading researchers in positive psychology and author of Authentic Happiness. Seligman describes happiness as having three parts: pleasure, engagement, and meaning. Pleasure is the "feel good" part of happiness. Engagement refers to living a "good life" of work, family, friends, and hobbies. Meaning refers to using our strengths to contribute to a larger purpose. Seligman says that all three are important, but that of the three, engagement and meaning make the most difference to living a happy life.
Revisit your relationships. Are they satisfactory? Do you have a good support network in place? If not, work on building it up. When you hit a bump in the road having supportive people around you will make a world of difference.
Also, review how you contribute to a larger purpose. Focusing on something bigger than you are helps to keep things in perspective.
2. Set realistic expectations.
You are human. Forcing or faking happiness leads to misery and conflict. Even if you create your happiness foundation and achieve a state of general well-being, you will have your ups and downs. It's how you deal with those fluctuations that matters. Condemnation and negativity will jeopardize your state of balance. Get real. Eliminate the pressure and you will bounce back more quickly.
3. Allow your feelings, rather than resisting them.
There are days when you will wake up feeling unhappy. Whether you fully understand it or not, it's important to accept that this happens. Be patient with yourself. Don't complain, but do indulge in a little time to examine your feelings without criticism. Rather than, "I hate when I feel like this," try "It's interesting that I have these feelings." Be OK with it and examine the feelings for a little while if they merit your attention. If not, simply turn your focus to your larger purpose to prevent yourself from dwelling on something that isn't dwell-worthy.
4. Be ready for change.
Ups and downs are normal, but if you find yourself in what feels like a constant state of unhappiness it's important to listen to what your body and mind are telling you. Life has a funny way of tapping us on the shoulder when we need to create change. If you don't pay attention to the gentle tapping, you may be surprised by a less gentle reminder--or series of them. Either way, your subconscious mind will get your attention to suggest, or force, change. So make it easy on yourself and pay attention to the gentle tap. What is the cause of your unhappiness? Find someone who can help you sort through it, and embrace the change that lies ahead. You are on your way.
Catalog Choice operates a deceptively simple service: if you get too much junk mail (the physical kind — not spam), you can go online to the Catalog Choice website and opt out. That move between the offline and online requires some special consideration. The site was acquired by TrustedID in 2012. Scott Mitic, the CEO of TrustedID, sees the addition as a valuable part of the company’s identity protection and privacy services.
“Catalog Choice…was founded by environmental visionaries with a vision of reducing paper waste by giving consumers control over what goes into their mailboxes. The company first launched in 2007 and quickly became the leading mail preference service in the country, allowing consumers to opt out of unwanted advertising mail through a free online portal. It became evident Catalog Choice was not only a benefit to the environment, but also a valuable tool for citizens to protect their privacy and identity. Since its inception, Catalog Choice has processed over 26 million opt-outs for more than 8,000 marketing companies, ensuring the privacy and preference of millions of consumers,” says Mitic.
The question of how to market a service such as Catalog Choice is minimalistic — at least in terms of more traditional approaches. “Catalog Choice’s growth to date has occurred with virtually no marketing,” notes Mitic. “Media coverage, word of mouth, and search traffic have driven growth. Roughly 38 percent of users hear about us through PR; 18 percent of users find us through search; and 23 percent hear about us from a family member or friend.”
Word of mouth is particularly valuable for a service that has to be trustworthy, especially since most people consider junk mail a fact of life — something to be resolved with a larger recycling bin. Mitic points out that Catalog Choice does it exactly what it promises: “The service delivers. When we ask our users how much of their unwanted advertising mail stopped after using Catalog Choice, the most common response is 90 percent. Our customers are passionate about protecting their privacy and controlling who has access to their information and Catalog Choice delivers the ability for them to do that. This leads to users, including reporters and partners, to tell others about it. Referrals are one of the best ways to build trust.”
Even though the problem that Catalog Choice solves is essentially offline, it’s reasonable to expect users to go online these days. As Mitic points out, “I am not sure whether there is a primarily offline audience today. The internet is such an integral part of our lives but if we needed to put a larger concentration on reaching through offline vehicles, national print opportunities and broadcast media through public relations efforts and local radio would be great ways to get reach offline. For any company looking to acquire users on a budget, finding and partnering with companies that already have access to target customers is a strong opportunity to build your business.”
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