For years now UMBC Transit has received a veritable torrent of complaints about the shortcomings of its busing system. The student body has long thought that these complaints fell on deaf ears, as despite the running of numerous and poorly attended “outreach” meetings put on by representatives from the university, the system itself remained untouched. Until now, that is.
Starting this semester UMBC Transit has announced the introduction of new “Invisibusses.” These busses, they claim, are ultra-high tech and are totally invisible and intangible. In a press release delivered this weekend the university highlighted specific complaints about the previous system and explained how this new system addressed them.
According to the release, “no longer will students have to watch as a bus arrives 15 minutes early to a stop, and then speed away as they desperately sprint across the inner harbor to catch it. Nor will they have to watch as they wait patiently at the designated stop at the designated time, only for the bus to just kind of pretend they don’t exist, continuing along its merry way. With the Invisibus one cannot see or otherwise perceive its existence, making being abandoned at least 23% less depressing.”
The release goes on to address other concerns, specifically on the topic of a drive to the airport being akin to “a drive through Fallujah in 2004.” According to the release, “with the Invisibus, the drive is now smoother than glass, in fact it will feel as though you were not riding anything at all, and were, in fact, in hypothermic shock after waiting for hours at a bus stop in the ice and snow.”
The Invisibus is also carbon neutral.
On top of replacing the bus fleet, UMBC Transit has also increased service to several over-taxed lines; adding a bus at “25 o’clock” to the Arbutus/Irvington Route, a bus at “The Witching Hour” to the Downtown Route, and a bus “Literally Never” to the Route 40/Rolling Road Route.
After this announcement, MBC News managed to secure an exclusive interview with the UMBC Transit Executive of Outreach, Jordan Abordine. After waiting in his office for close to three hours, he appeared cradling a near-empty container of box wine with a wild look in his eye. We attempted an interview, but as we approached he attacked an intern with a stapler. While we were withdrawing, he took the chance to dive out the window, screaming about how “everyone already commutes anyways.”
-Doctor Ector
]]>Our most recent print issue featured a staff editorial piece about gun violence in our country. Especially after the situation that occurred in Florida last week, the topic of gun control continues to be an extremely relevant topic in today’s day and age.
It is no secret that our country’s population is very opinionated on this issue, and now The Retriever wants to hear the thoughts of the UMBC community. Out of the five choices below, please choose the response that best suits your personal thoughts on gun violence in America.
We encourage you to leave comments.
Greetings Meditation Practitioners,
This Spring we are hosting meditation sessions 5 days a week.
Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday sessions will be held in UC 115.
Monday(room 202) and Wednesday(room 208) Meditation are both in Sondheim.
Get to know our leaders and see what you can expect from each of us as we lead our unique sessions:
Monday Meditation 11:00AM-12:00PM, will be lead by Chris Meas
Chris plans to lead sessions that approach meditation with a beginner’s mind while focusing on mindfulness, gratefulness, and positivity in each moment of life by finding one’s true self.
“About myself, I guess I'd like to say: I am someone who seeks the joys of life through adventure and experience. I feel that it is important to understand life through experience so therefore, I try to keep an open mind to everything there is in the world with the mentality that I'll try it at least once -or thrice. I can be a bit eccentric because I find myself interested in the many beauties that life has to offer. One thing that always makes me tear up however, is music. I am known to cry easily when it comes to many things, especially movies, mainly because I am easily moved by the great spectacle that is human emotion. My favorite interest is finding that magic which exists between two beings that have found a way to understand each other.
Can't wait for all the beautiful faces at meditation club!”
- Chris
Tuesday Meditation 4:00PM-5:00PM will be lead by Wouhib Tamrat
“A little about myself, I grew up in Ethiopia and moved to Maryland when I was 12 years old. I am currently in my last semester at UMBC majoring in Psychology. After graduation, I am hoping to go to graduate school in Counseling Psychology with a focus on mindfulness-based psychotherapy. During my sessions, I plan on starting out with a guided meditation, followed by time for discussion and mindfulness teachings, then end with silent meditation.”
- Wouhib
Wednesday Meditation 12:00PM-1:00PM will be lead by Jason Kelly(starting after Spring Break)
“I’m a senior sociology and media and communications double major with a minor in anthropology. I’ve been meditating for about a year and a half now and have a daily practice of around an hour each day. My session will focus on mainly vipassana or breathe based meditation, but will also include self inquiry and ways to remain present in day to day life.
I think learning different styles is a really good idea. Maybe we can all focus on one each before the next retreat or something like that.”
-Jason
Thursday Meditation 4:00PM-5:00PM will be lead by Alyssa Lambert
“Hello everyone. I began leading meditation club in the Spring of 2016. I started meditating in my freshman year of college (Spring 2013) by going behind the ITE building, putting music on, and tuning into the air around me (most enjoyable when the sun is out). I’m graduating with a B.A. degree in Information Systems this Spring and will eventually pursue a graduate degree in Data Science.
For my sessions, I plan to continue incorporating moving meditation and hand mudra meditation, as well as teaching about the 7 chakras and showing a different hand mudra for every Thursday session. In the beginning, my sessions can be as short as 15 minutes, and as the semester goes on, that time can extend to 25 minutes. I’m thankful for all of the feedback that everyone has provided us and hope you all make the most out of this semester.”
Peace and Tranquility,
Alyssa, President
Friday Meditation 12:00PM-1:00PM will be lead by Jaimee Pineda
“I started meditating roughly 6 years ago and am extremely passionate about the practice. Through my practice I've seen how meditation can have an extraordinarily positive shift in one's life experience. When we practice stillness and clearly witness life in the present moment we may be touched by grace, peace, and great insight!
My sessions will first consist of a 15-20-minute guided meditation. We'll take a break to stretch and mindfully speak on our experience or anything that may come up. Finally, we end on a 15-20-minute silent session. This is a rough sketch on the typical layout my sessions, not every session will be this way.
I will teach about how to meditate, mindfulness, stillness, space, awareness, the mind, and the nature of the ego. I will also include teachings from some of my favorite masters of the practice! I look forward to sharing this beautiful practice with all that wish to join!”
- Jaimee, Vice President
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One of the most important things to note about meditation is that the benefits come with continuity.
The goal of our club is to guide you in your meditation practice. Our hope is that we can help you commit to the practice by having multiple meditation sessions so that you are not alone. This way, it’s less likely for you to get distracted.
At first, it can feel awkward meditating in a group. You’re sitting silently in a room of people you may not know at all. But, the beauty of meditating in a group is that it helps us let go of self-consciousness and ego. You realize that no one’s scrutinizing the way you sit or the way you breathe. Each of us pursues our own special meditation path, but we do it together and with the acceptance of everyone around us.
So, take advantage of our diverse times and see if meditation is right for you. We have really cool leaders, and may this be our best semester yet!”
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