My name is Abby, I use she/her pronouns. I am writing this blog to share about my experience this semester participating in gender-based harm reduction and advocacy through the Women’s Center.
I facilitated the We Believe You discussion group Fall 2023 – Spring 2024. This is for survivors to build community and support one another through their survivorship. Through my experience facilitating the group, I was able to learn more about what supporting survivors looks like. For example, some discussion topics we had focused on rebuilding the mind body connection, tuning in to feelings, and communicating and maintaining boundaries. I loved being able to be a part of this discussion group and, first hand, seeing the support that the survivor community can provide for each other.
In addition to running the discussion group, I was able to put together programming for Intimate Partner Violence Awareness Month, in October, as well as, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, in April.
The process behind putting these together started first with conceptualizing the needs of the population, UMBC students. I did this through assessments like surveys and informal measures, for example, taking note of conversations folks have in the center and questions that had come up. Then we planned events and reached out to students trying to let people know about what events we are hosting. Incentivising the events with food and extra credit (if professors allow it) always helped to bring people in.
Some things that came up when putting together the events is that sometimes, people don’t show up. And that is ok. It is good to have materials put together for the next time they may come in handy. Also, that might help you to tune your topic or program to be something that is more enticing to the community. I learned that finding active community members who are also survivors should be a key informant in the process of programming. They can not only tailor the groups or programs to best fit the needs of the community, but also help to spread word about the events to other campus communities.
Out of all of the events that the Women’s Center put together for gender based harm reductions, Take Back the Night was my favorite event to work on and participate in. Take Back the Night is a protest hosted in The Commons. The event seeks to bring an end to sexual, relational, and domestic violence. Organizations came to table at the event and inform the community and survivors about available resources. A survivor speak-out was held where students were welcome to speak at an open microphone about their experience, showcasing healing, vulnerability, and support. Then, with survivors leading, and the campus community following behind, we marched through campus yelling chants to bring attention to and protest sexual violences prevalence at UMBC. Bringing the event to a close people chatted, ate pizza, colored and participated in other forms of craftivism fostering a calming environment vital after the emotional march and speak-out.
When survivors shared their experiences publicly, it called attention to the issue of sexual violence in an intimate way. The speaker is out in the open, at a microphone, sharing personal details about their experience. There is no way to ignore the issue of sexual violence after hearing the speak out. I don’t know how others felt after this but I was enraged. I felt so frustrated that so many people have to deal with this trauma and the weight of these harms for the rest of their lives.
The part of the event that I was most scared of was speaking publicly and participating in the march. Funny enough, these were the two things that brought me the most fulfillment. It was definitely an emotional event, however, the prevalence of sexual assault and its damaging impacts on survivors inspired me to continue to work to educate the community and advocate for changes to things like Title IX on this campus.
My biggest take-away from everything was that people need to feel heard and supported especially when it comes to such a traumatic intimate experience like gender based harms. The amount of stories I heard from the survivors who spoke and had a trusted companion or authority figure turn them away in disbelief was astonishing. I was in despair hearing about this. It affirmed for me that being open with people about resources and healing spaces for survivors, as well as educating people about consent, is so important.
While most people may not feel comfortable participating in activism. What you can do as an active community member is learn how to respond to folks who share their experiences with you and how you can support them. Just saying “I believe you,” “I want to support you in ways that I can,” “Can I tell you about some resources for survivors,” can make all the difference. While you might not be someone who inflicts harm on others, it is still your responsibility to respond to those who have in a healing way.
The last thing I wanted to use this space to talk about is the Green Dot (bystander intervention training) that UMBC has for students and staff. This program seeks to educate people about sexual assault as well as how to be a bystander and do your diligence as a community member not only at UMBC but also throughout your neighborhood and in your family and friend groups to help to stop acts of gender based harms. Through this training, I found my confidence and how I can make a difference in the community and be aware of instances where potential gender based harms could occur, are happening, or have happened. I can delegate to another individual, distract the situation to prevent it from happening, or directly intervene, reducing potentially harmful instances from happening. There will be times where you are a bystander and hear someone trash talking an individual or see something happening. If you think about the victim as a loved one and how much you would want someone to help them if they were in trouble, your decision to stay out of it might change.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope that through sharing my experience I can influence you to keep working towards ending gender based harms.